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View Full Version : Nicky Tooch might be dead. Really.


Art Vandelay
12-16-2008, 10:17 PM
Cleveland, OH (AP) -- Authorities are asking your help to locate a missing local man and Wu-Tang fan. He was last seen the morning of December 12th when he posted a message about Oscar De La Hoya in "The Official Boxing Thread" in the Sports Zone on www.wutangcorp.com. Authorities are particularly worried because of a thread Tooch made the evening before. "Mr. Tooch's final thread has us alarmed," said Wu-Tang Corp forum moderator Prolific English. "Five days ago, he created the thread entitled 'I'm thinkin about using harder drugs...' and it was his last. He made a few more posts that evening, proceeded to get some sleep. The victim awoke again the following morning, made just three more posts Then he vanished. It is unlike anybody to be gone for more than a day without announcing their retirement." When asked if he would accept any assistance from any Thisis50.com moderators, Mr. English replied, "This is a wutangcorp.com case and we intend to keep it that way."

Other members have been pretty open about their theories. "If I lived in Cleveland, I would kill myself, too," said an unshaken Art Vandelay who demanded to remain faceless. "Can you imagine rooting for a team as horrible as the Browns?"

"He isn't here anymore because I e-destroyed him," remarked the wide-nostrilled TheShaolinAssassin. "He e-lost in an e-battle with e-me. This is the greatest day of my e-life. Now if I could only get some pussy. elohelohels"

Blackula was thrilled about the news. "I don't even know who NickyTooch is, but at least that's one less person without pictures of my meat pocket." She also added "Fuck IlzPotent," who could not be reached for comment because she was filing a restraining order from Mr. Vandelay.

Everyone is hoping for the best, but chances of finding him get slimmer than Minibumpsh chest each day. Wu-Tangcorp owner Cilvaringz summed it up best when he said, "Man, that NickyTooch sure could chop heads and swing swords. I admire a guy that likes to swing swords and chop heads. You best protect your neck when Tooch swung swords because your head would get chopped." Ringz then added, "Rza likes me better than Nick Tooch. I'm putting out a DVD to prove it if you don't believe me"

beautifulrock
12-16-2008, 10:37 PM
"He isn't here anymore because I e-destroyed him," remarked the wide-nostrilled TheShaolinAssassin. "He e-lost in an e-battle with e-me. This is the greatest day of my e-life. Now if I could only get some pussy. elohelohels"



BWAhaahahahahaahaaAHAAAHAHAAHAHAHahahahhaahaeloels roflcopterlmaoHHHHHHHHHHHaaahahahhahah

TAURO
12-16-2008, 10:42 PM
Lmao

IrOnMaN
12-16-2008, 10:45 PM
Clock radio.

Very well written, Art. Lol.

SKAMPOE
12-16-2008, 10:53 PM
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahah ahahahahahaahahahahahahaha good stuff

beautifulrock
12-16-2008, 10:55 PM
The Indians lost to the Marlins.











































































HA

Dokuro
12-16-2008, 10:58 PM
i didnt do it this time

Wu-Tang Forum Internet Poster
12-16-2008, 10:58 PM
Although the thread was amusing, I am genuinely worried about Tooch's well-being.

I was going to tell him to avoid using drugs, but I didn't.

Art Vandelay
12-16-2008, 11:02 PM
Tooch might have gotten hooked. He probably ran out of money and is now sucking cock to pay for his addiction. I'm sure he's fine.

SKAMPOE
12-16-2008, 11:03 PM
he probably over dosed on french semen!

11th Chamber
12-16-2008, 11:04 PM
this was surprisingly funny

Art is usually a dull ass fuck

SKAMPOE
12-16-2008, 11:05 PM
true

Art Vandelay
12-17-2008, 05:48 PM
i just read somewhere that in cleveland they just performed a face transplant. maybe nick tooch is going to infiltrate a prison on some travolta-nick cage shit like in facce/off

Professor Poopsnagle
12-17-2008, 05:54 PM
"He isn't here anymore because I e-destroyed him," remarked the wide-nostrilled TheShaolinAssassin. "He e-lost in an e-battle with e-me. This is the greatest day of my e-life. Now if I could only get some pussy. elohelohels"
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Prolifical ENG
12-17-2008, 06:02 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA

the first 3 paragraphs were pure genius.

Koolish
12-17-2008, 06:36 PM
i just read somewhere that in cleveland they just performed a face transplant. maybe nick tooch is going to infiltrate a prison on some travolta-nick cage shit like in facce/off
FACE OFF that's that movie, man i was thinking about that recently, i saw that as a kid and all i can remember is the end where someone is trying to cut their face off.

hahaha

Art Vandelay
12-17-2008, 06:38 PM
as a kid? damn, tsa was right, i am old. i saw that as a teenager.

Senator C. Palantine
12-17-2008, 06:45 PM
I dont usually feel moved by a thread, but this is truly inspirational.

Art delivering a funny post has shown us all that nothing is impossible.

The sky is the limit.

Thank you, Art.

TSA
12-17-2008, 10:09 PM
me talking was funny but not as funny as all the AHAHAHAHAHahaha after made it out to be, i didn't read it cause its art then i saw it was getting good feedback and expected too much.

but christmas is nearing, he probably in the bathtub with shower water running drowning away his naked tears

Art Vandelay
04-20-2009, 11:44 PM
holy shit i'm funny. you guys are in the presence of a genius. i forgot about this shit.