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Art Vandelay
01-10-2009, 11:16 PM
come on, everyone has done it atleast once. here's mine.

(back story first)
our bathroom at work smelled really bad. my boss was mopping the floor and bleaching everything for 2 days straight and couldn't get rid of the smell. well the next day he opens the cabinet under the sink and somebody's shitty underwear were in there. somebody in the office, or a visitor, shit themselves and threw their shitty underguccies under the sink. so it was a running joke for the next couple days. everybody was trying to figure out who it was. who wears boxers and who wears briefs trying to narrow it down. we never figured it out who it was.

so a few days later i leave the office. i was in sales so i was on the road most of the time. as i'm traveling to meet a customer, i let out a fart and i shit myself. you know, a little hershey squirt, not a big steamer in my pants. so i found the first place i could find. it was a mcdonalds in a shitty neighberhood (no pun intended.) so i went into the bathroom took off my boxers, through them away and wiped my ass. i was free-balling when i met the customer, but luckily i passed somewhat near my house on the way back to the office, so i was able to get a fresh pair of boxers.

all i could think of is thank god that happened when i was on the road and not at the office. because if someone would have known i did that, they would have blamed me for the ones that were left under the sink.

Olive Oil Goombah
01-10-2009, 11:29 PM
hahaha..its a good thing you advertised this thread


i hershey squirted while playing Mario for N64 back in '95....luckily i was home. Alone too. I'm such a nice guy i even wet up my boxers and did a pre cleaning before i thru it down the shute for my mom to deal with.

IrOnMaN
01-10-2009, 11:45 PM
come on, everyone has done it atleast once. here's mine.

(back story first)
our bathroom at work smelled really bad. my boss was mopping the floor and bleaching everything for 2 days straight and couldn't get rid of the smell. well the next day he opens the cabinet under the sink and somebody's shitty underwear were in there. somebody in the office, or a visitor, shit themselves and threw their shitty underguccies under the sink. so it was a running joke for the next couple days. everybody was trying to figure out who it was. who wears boxers and who wears briefs trying to narrow it down. we never figured it out who it was.

so a few days later i leave the office. i was in sales so i was on the road most of the time. as i'm traveling to meet a customer, i let out a fart and i shit myself. you know, a little hershey squirt, not a big steamer in my pants. so i found the first place i could find. it was a mcdonalds in a shitty neighberhood (no pun intended.) so i went into the bathroom took off my boxers, through them away and wiped my ass. i was free-balling when i met the customer, but luckily i passed somewhat near my house on the way back to the office, so i was able to get a fresh pair of boxers.

all i could think of is thank god that happened when i was on the road and not at the office. because if someone would have known i did that, they would have blamed me for the ones that were left under the sink.

Classic!

ALCATRAZ
01-11-2009, 12:32 AM
aint much 2 share from my side.............only time i shat myself was in second grade when a nigga forgot 2 pull his undies down on tha toilet....rookie mistake i kno.............niggaz was comin in tha bathroom talkin bout "ms martin says come back to class NOW".....that shit was stankin so i just packed my pants wit toilet tissue and waltzed back to class...... i was a g about it tho cuz when tha teacher asked why i was out so long i straight up told tha bitch "nigga i poo'd on myself" and that was that

Art Vandelay
01-11-2009, 12:35 AM
you mean you just pulled your shitty underwear up and went back to class?

ALCATRAZ
01-11-2009, 12:40 AM
tha fuck was i supposed to do, freeballin wasnt an option in tha 2nd grade.....u held on to ur undies regardless of tha situation

Art Vandelay
01-11-2009, 12:41 AM
now that's gangsta

TSA
01-11-2009, 03:36 AM
LMAO! i seriously don't have one, i know you can assume whatever but i don't and dont care if im believed.

tho i need one.

begongo
01-11-2009, 04:26 AM
I was at school in the 5th grade, about 11 years old

I never shat in the school's bathroom because it was usually really disgusting, so one day I just HAD to poop ... WHAT TO DO? I definitely wasn't going to shit there

My home was at a 20 min walk from school, so I told my teacher that I was feeling really ill and had to go home ... so I packed my stuff and headed home but duh shit was struggling to crack out my hole so while walking, though I was rushing I just had to fart and instantly pooped my pants

This was at about 5 mins after leaving school and 10-15 more till getting home, so basically what I did was that I walked all the way home fully dressed, with my school bag on my back and with my underwear shitted on

Luckily when I got home there was nobody there so I could save the embarrassment of telling my parents I had to come home early today cuz I shat my pants lol

SikoCeLL
01-11-2009, 05:19 AM
I've shat my pants while playing table tennis once... a simple fart and poo followed through.

YungSunny
01-11-2009, 06:08 AM
Closest I got to shitting myself was when I pushed a fart and realized it's a shit and suck it in.

Mumm Ra
01-11-2009, 06:14 AM
the only pants-shitting story I can remember post-kindergarten age at all was in like 4th grade after school I ran into a friend who was coming out of the drug store, he said he farted out one of those round marble turds and it rolled out of his pants inside.
all I could imagine was what the look on one of the employees could have been, finding a turd in the middle of a drug store floor

KERZO
01-11-2009, 07:50 AM
never shat my pants since i wore diapers luckily..

my only self soiling incidend was when i was drinking with a few friends a couple of years back. I had put away about 2 litres of strong cider and had went to sleep. i woke up the next morning and got told i woke up in the middle of the night, sat on the end of the bed and took a piss over my mate who was lying on a mattress on the floor. i had some flashbacks so i had to accept the blame but thats the only time thank god.

Art Vandelay
01-11-2009, 11:47 PM
holy shit, i can't believe i forgot this story. i thought i only shit my pants once...make it twice.


so i'm at a party at a chick's house that i've known all my life. she lived a few streets away from me. well i end up passing out on her couch. about 7 am, i wake up and half to throw up. i go running out the door to her backyard. it was closer than the bathroom. so the sun is just starting to come up and i am throwing up out in her yard. well just as i finish, i realize i am about to shit myself. there was no time to get back into the house and upstairs to the bathroom. i pulled my pants down and shit in her yard luckily for me, she has a privacy fence, because she lives near a somewhat busy intersection. if any of you have ever heard the comedian artie lange's stand up, he tells a similar story. well when i pulled my pants down and i am squatting in her yard, my pants formed that bridge between my legs and i shit right into my own pants. to this day i still can't figure out how this happened, but it landed in my pants, not in my underwear. so i took the pants off. luckily everyone was still sleeping. i walked out of her yard and threw the pants down the sewer and walked home in my boxers. i passed 1 person on the way home. i was so embarrassed. i didn't make eye contact. that happened probably almost 10 years ago, and last year i finally built up the courage to tell everyone what happened that night.

BGS
01-12-2009, 07:45 AM
LMAO @ this thread!! classic shit LOL

Tage
01-12-2009, 09:39 AM
On the way to a job interview, after a night of beer, I had diarrhea... and shit myself a bit on the bus.

So i go into millets, say levis 32... he bags it up and i pay for it.. so i go to a public toilet and take my shitty pants off, and poke them out the window. open up the millets bag... and it was a JACKET!....

^i told a mate that and he said i should of worn THE BAG!!! (oh yeah, like that would of helped - going to a job interview with a fucking plastic bag on)

hahaha

Tage
01-12-2009, 09:46 AM
On the way to a job interview, after a night of beer, I had diarrhea... and shit myself a bit on the bus.

So i go into millets, say levis 32... he bags it up and i pay for it.. so i go to a public toilet and take my shitty pants off, and poke them out the window. open up the millets bag... and it was a JACKET!....

^i told a mate that and he said i should of worn THE BAG!!! (oh yeah, like that would of helped - going to a job interview with a fucking plastic bag on)

hahaha


^^^
J1J0Z2YvplY

Art Vandelay
01-12-2009, 09:49 AM
so wait a minute, you bought a jacket instead of a pair of pants?? and you threw your pants out the window? so you had nothing else to wear?

Durag
01-12-2009, 09:50 AM
Damn, respect Art.

Ive been in a lot of states from alcohol and drugs, done really fucked up things and have woken up in weird places but ive never shit myself.

Although i remember when we were kids we used to break into holiday homes and that when there was nobody there to see if we could rob anything, and i used to always get an urge to shit, so id take a dump in the kettle, on the couch, or on a plate and put it into the fridge for them.

Tage
01-12-2009, 09:51 AM
so wait a minute, you bought a jacket instead of a pair of pants?? and you threw your pants out the window? so you had nothing else to wear?


watch the video i posted underneath it... Gervais... (1min30secs)

Senator C. Palantine
01-12-2009, 09:52 AM
Is this story the reason you now tense your ass cheeks?

cutn' heads
01-12-2009, 09:53 AM
did you get the sale?

Ritter
01-12-2009, 09:55 AM
I shat my pants once when I was 4. I can't remember what happened because I was 4.

Longbongcilvaringz
01-12-2009, 12:35 PM
aint much 2 share from my side.............only time i shat myself was in second grade when a nigga forgot 2 pull his undies down on tha toilet....rookie mistake i kno.............niggaz was comin in tha bathroom talkin bout "ms martin says come back to class NOW".....that shit was stankin so i just packed my pants wit toilet tissue and waltzed back to class...... i was a g about it tho cuz when tha teacher asked why i was out so long i straight up told tha bitch "nigga i poo'd on myself" and that was that

hahaha

Longbongcilvaringz
01-12-2009, 12:39 PM
On the way to a job interview, after a night of beer, I had diarrhea... and shit myself a bit on the bus.

So i go into millets, say levis 32... he bags it up and i pay for it.. so i go to a public toilet and take my shitty pants off, and poke them out the window. open up the millets bag... and it was a JACKET!....

^i told a mate that and he said i should of worn THE BAG!!! (oh yeah, like that would of helped - going to a job interview with a fucking plastic bag on)

hahaha

hahahaha

holy fuck.

you gusy are beyond belief.

i needed a break after this post.

"a jacket!!!" hahaha

jesus.

Longbongcilvaringz
01-12-2009, 12:44 PM
And yeah, Politics was great show.

Same with Animals.

Tage
01-12-2009, 12:44 PM
^hahaha i know... you seen the video i posted under that post?

edit - just seen ya other post... yeah it is.. i seen fame live. was classic.

Professor Poopsnagle
01-12-2009, 12:45 PM
On the way to a job interview, after a night of beer, I had diarrhea... and shit myself a bit on the bus.

So i go into millets, say levis 32... he bags it up and i pay for it.. so i go to a public toilet and take my shitty pants off, and poke them out the window. open up the millets bag... and it was a JACKET!....

^i told a mate that and he said i should of worn THE BAG!!! (oh yeah, like that would of helped - going to a job interview with a fucking plastic bag on)

hahaha
AHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Longbongcilvaringz
01-12-2009, 12:47 PM
Haven't checked out Fame.

Saw the DVD the other day actually, will pick it up next week.

Tage
01-12-2009, 12:49 PM
do that. hes doing a new tour soon, called Science. should be good! might have to get a ticket to see that aswell.

the fame tour sold out in like 45 minutes i think.. i got my ticket though.

Longbongcilvaringz
01-12-2009, 12:53 PM
On topic, i can't remember ever shitting myself.

I can remember shits in places other than the orthodox lavatory, but never expelling excreta onto myself.

Tage
01-12-2009, 01:11 PM
yeah for others that dont read...that story was a joke earlier.

but i have shit myself before when i was a kid. running to the toilet, just got caught short... and shit myself down the leg of my pjs... thats the truth... had the shits... cant remember my age... but it wasnt in the last decade lol.. dont have the pjs anymore though hahaha

such a random thing, posting when you shit yourself on a message board

Art Vandelay
01-12-2009, 08:46 PM
i straight up told tha bitch "nigga i poo'd on myself" and that was that

speeksonit was like a black version of stewie from family guy. he spoke like an adult when he said "nigga" but still had the qualities of a child by saying "poo'd on myself"

Tyler Durden
01-12-2009, 09:10 PM
I've shat my pants while playing table tennis once... a simple fart and poo followed through.

Theres a word for that

Art Vandelay
01-13-2009, 04:59 PM
i'm disappointed that this thread didn't do as well as i thought it would. i think we need a female's prespective... msrza, ilz, black, queen of poetry? got any good poopin in your panty stories?

Art Vandelay
01-13-2009, 09:28 PM
come on skamp, i know you have no less than 3 stories to share.

Art Vandelay
05-29-2009, 09:42 AM
this thread was classic. i can't believe it didn't get more posts.

RzaRectum
05-29-2009, 11:57 AM
I was masterbating to the GREATEST invention EVER.. It was one of those days where you have the house all to yourself and I was BUTT ASS NAKED. At some point I developed the urge to take a shit, but the experience was so deep I didn't want to leave the computer.. But I HAD TO so I'm standing/kneeling and restraining myself trying to get in a few more minutes of look time and the urge subsides a few times. Like three hours later I'm still standing and adjusting my balance, when I suddenly realized that there was a HUGE log of shit SMEARED on the LIVING ROOM CARPET!!!

All I could think of was how I was going to explain this, because it was in the middle of the room and I apparently had also stepped in it with my KNEES AND FEET during my distraction and the smear was in deep. Now I'm in damage control and the FIRST thing I did was to clean my shit stained SELF and THEN the carpet excess.. I wanted to cry, no one was around and I was embarrassed I'm ACTUALLY living up to my own name (sn). I mean, who shits on the living room carpet? WHO? It took an hour or so, but it MIRACULOUSLY came out! And no one ever found out.. I was really stressed out yesterday.

Tage
05-29-2009, 12:03 PM
^hahahahah funny cunt

Prolifical ENG
05-29-2009, 12:51 PM
Hahaha this is a good thread...dont remember reading it a few months back.

I cant remember if I had a funny story right now.

I only remember my friend telling me he shit himself when he was strangling his wang in his room. He finished up before he started to clean up.

Longbongcilvaringz
05-29-2009, 01:03 PM
I was masterbating to the GREATEST invention EVER.. It was one of those days where you have the house all to yourself and I was BUTT ASS NAKED. At some point I developed the urge to take a shit, but the experience was so deep I didn't want to leave the computer.. But I HAD TO so I'm standing/kneeling and restraining myself trying to get in a few more minutes of look time and the urge subsides a few times. Like three hours later I'm still standing and adjusting my balance, when I suddenly realized that there was a HUGE log of shit SMEARED on the LIVING ROOM CARPET!!!

All I could think of was how I was going to explain this, because it was in the middle of the room and I apparently had also stepped in it with my KNEES AND FEET during my distraction and the smear was in deep. Now I'm in damage control and the FIRST thing I did was to clean my shit stained SELF and THEN the carpet excess.. I wanted to cry, no one was around and I was embarrassed I'm ACTUALLY living up to my own name (sn). I mean, who shits on the living room carpet? WHO? It took an hour or so, but it MIRACULOUSLY came out! And no one ever found out.. I was really stressed out yesterday.

hahaa

Prolifical ENG
05-29-2009, 01:03 PM
Oh yeah, I remember another story but not mine.

Back in high school there was this guy that always talked about shitting himself. One day in class I don't know if he shit himself again or came back from taking a shit and purposely didn't wipe good.

There was this kid that he always picked on in the same physics class. I don't know how that guy pinned that kid down against the science counters at the side of the classrooms....almost on the floor wiping his bare ass all over this kid...like all over his sweater.

All I remember while me and my lab partner were doing that speed of sound test with the tuning forks and looking back and seeing a big hairy ass and a kid trying to defend himself almost cornered wearing a fuzzy looking sweater with brown streaks all over it.

I couldnt stop laughing that whole 1st period.

kurupt_kw
05-29-2009, 01:09 PM
In grade 6 or 7 a bunch of us kids set up a game of football in the park. We were there for only about 5-10 minutes when I had to let out a fart. To my surprise that's not all it was. I only lived about 4 blocks from the park so I tried to sneak over to my bike and get out of there without saying anything. Of course everyone sees me grabbing the bike so I get surrounded by 20 people asking me what I was doing. I couldn't think of anything because I was already super embarrassed and then I was surrounded and under pressure so I froze up and didn't really have a good excuse. "I just have to go home and get something" "What do you need Kris?" I was a very athletic kid and nobody wanted me to leave so they all stood around me and begged me to stay. I wouldn't elaborate on what I needed to get so they thought I was trying to ditch. I finally just ignored everyone and on got on my bike and rode home. I hopped in the shower (since my legs and ass were covered in shit since I rode my bike) and changed my shorts and then went back and had a very enjoyable game of football. I never did grab anything else to take back to the park and I had new clothes on so people were asking me what the hell I was doing. It was very shady and everyone was suspicious so I told them I had split my shorts and was too embarrassed to say anything before I changed. Thank God I managed to get out of there without people realising or I'd probably still be hearing about it to this day.

Longbongcilvaringz
05-29-2009, 01:12 PM
haha

That's the kind of shit these dudes are pulling at school these days and they expect people to concentrate?

I went to the tamest school imaginable and we had people climbing out of class room window on the second floor and taking shits in the bath room and writing messages with the shit on the walls.

Shits fucked up for the youth.

AcidPhosphate69
05-29-2009, 04:31 PM
One morning, after a night of heavy drinking. Me and my buddy are standing outside his front door, calmly smoking cigs and trying to not think about how hungover we were. Either way, I attempted a fart and it was definitely solid, I knew I shat that very second. I nonchalantly stated, "Yep, just shit myself." I proceeded to walking into the woods next to his house, strip down and wipe my ass and such with the soiled boxers, which I then tossed into a tree.

The best part was, I met my future ex-girlfriend later that day.

Prolifical ENG
05-29-2009, 04:36 PM
On the way to a job interview, after a night of beer, I had diarrhea... and shit myself a bit on the bus.

So i go into millets, say levis 32... he bags it up and i pay for it.. so i go to a public toilet and take my shitty pants off, and poke them out the window. open up the millets bag... and it was a JACKET!....

^i told a mate that and he said i should of worn THE BAG!!! (oh yeah, like that would of helped - going to a job interview with a fucking plastic bag on)

hahaha

thats memoir material.

Spoon Face
05-29-2009, 04:36 PM
you not the bad thing in you pants when you run

pootiedonedidit
05-29-2009, 04:56 PM
I was driving with my family down to the beach. I was peeing as usual and farted by accident. Only realized that I had hershey squirted my pants when I got back into the car and sat down.

Oh well.

I love this thread.

Inspectah_Dirk
05-29-2009, 06:00 PM
Only on THIS forum you can find great threads like this. It's unbe-fucking-lievable.

AcidPhosphate69
05-29-2009, 06:29 PM
This one is in my pants per se but I shat in my shower. Again, after drinking the night before...I was taking a shower and I went to fart and it was like brown water running down my leg. Honestly, I figured, "fuck it" and finish shitting straight booze ass in my shower. I know, that's fucking nasty.

narc
05-29-2009, 06:38 PM
well.... I shat myself..

it was in the early years of high school, at a boarding school in New York.. On Wednesdays we had this thing called "putting hands to work".. it was basically an entire school day dedicated to cleaning up campus. The school was in upstate NY and my job along with 8 other students was to tidy up the school trails..

The wind was very cold up there on that hill, a friend and I would smoke before hand to deal with the long hours in the blistering winter walking up and down hills cleaning cigarette butts and empty bottles. before I left I thought "geeze, I kinda have to poop" but decided not to.. what a stupid fucking move..

well, 9 of us and a teacher walked out there.. it seemed to last a lifetime to get to those trails.. to put it plainly: I was ready to explode. I tried so hard to contain myself.. I was red in the face, my friend kept looking over at me just to laugh which consequently made things only worse. After about 45 minutes I just flipped out, told my teacher I was going to poop myself, I needed to get back to campus, ect.. everyone looked at me, I'm pretty sure they knew I was high already and to top it off they had a kid on the verge of shitting himself.. lucky for me the teacher and I were good friends and he understood my situation but not my stupidity.. he let me go which was probably a terrible idea as I should have just found a tree and went there..

I ran vigoriously up those hills to get back to the closest campus bathroom I could find.. about 5 minutes into my run, I tripped over a small rock, fell face first into the frozen ground and almost instantly shit myself. I actually wanted to die, it was the worst possible senario I could have imagined happening.. I marched my ass back to campus, went to my dorm.. fuck that day..

drippie k
05-29-2009, 08:14 PM
the only memory i have of shitting myself was when i was in like kindergarten...i think we were on some field trip and the whole busride i had to shit so as soon as we got to where ever we were going, i got permission to use the bathroom and on the way to there i couldnt hold it anymore and this log of shit just finds its way outta my colon and into my power rangers tightie whities...and i remember i just like 10 feet away from the bathroom door so i just ran in there and cried...i guess i was in there for a while cuz i remember some kid askin me whats wrong and i told him..i guess he told the teacher i think hse went to a store across the street or something cuz i came home with new sweatpants...prolly had to wipe n clean my ass too

lynskey
07-03-2009, 02:04 PM
Nearly shit meself whilst farting this morning at work, had to go to the toilet to spot check the damage, luckily no serious residue, so all is well http://www.waccoe.com/style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.gif http://www.waccoe.com/style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.gif

After I had composed myself, I thought this would be a great topic for the corp

When was the last time you shit youself?

Or do you have any good stories about people who have shitted themselves?

I once shit myself on the train up from London after taking a large dose of Antibiotics for my toothache, I managed to get to the toilet in time, but whist pulling my pants down in the bog, I shit all over the outside of my jeans and on me shoes. I had to stay in the bog for the rest of the trip. The conducter came and knocked on the door and I had to shout through to him that I had had an accident and I can't come out, he carried on asking me to come out - so I just shouted, 'look I've just fucking shit myself OK!' It was, without doubt the worst day of my life

Prolifical ENG
07-03-2009, 02:09 PM
uppin for the merge

Lex Lugor
07-03-2009, 05:02 PM
this is FAR from the only shit yourself story thread made in genchat in the last 365 days but look at all the attention its getting..


yea ive shit myself before. IN HIGH SCHOOL, fucking high school..
i consider myself lucky though, i did shit myself and it did scar my soul, but it was in a controlled environment. see me and my older brother were both in high school together, and his friend would pick him up every morning like at 730 and they would go to school, meanwhile i would ride the bus like a jerk. SO we setup the arrangement where i would tag along with them, not really much of an arrangement, but it was definitely a change as i had to wake up and be on time every day instead of using the bus as an excuse to wake up late, go to school late, ditch school at lunch, come home late etc etc. this was HIS friend, i barely knew him, weve never had a conversation, we werent buddies, i was a shy freshman and he was the cool guy senior. The alarm clock went off 6:35 boom time to wake my ass up, but i had stayed up watching the new pimp my ride late until midnight so it wasnt happening, my brother was a persistent somamabitch, always made sure i did what i was supposed to, kept me in line and whatnot. so i proceed to stand up, and moan, and stall, and drag my feet, and complain, you know the ususal, but i didnt get a chance to doo doo cause 1. we just generally didnt have the time and 2. i didnt want to keep his friend waiting in his own car for not even his friend but his friends LITTLE BROTHER. i wasnt havin that, fuck it i rushed out no cologne on for another day of school. it was cold, the grass had white tips you know, foggy as fuck. you dont walk all the way to the doors.. i left them (my bro and ride guy) running and thank god i did, cause the second i hit them back doors and entered the halls (which are in the back of the building where two classrooms are located, so it was relatively empty) the shit assassinated me GAWD, WORD IS BOND this wasnt no damn i farted and poop came out, this STOPPED ME FROM MY JOG, i locked my knee caps together and prayed for dear life, noooo god noooo, noooo god, the shit rushed out of my ass hole and filled my jeans without a fucking doubt.
FUCK YOU GOD FUCK YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKER is how i felt dont let it beee theeeeere godddd! oh but it was there, and i had to do something about it and quick. and because this incident was fucking DESTINY, there was the ONLY single stall bathroom in the SCHOOL not thirty steps away. I passed some people but watched them extremely close and they didnt notice the SHIT pile out my ass crawling down my leg. I busted a spin move and DIVED into the bathroom and proceeded to clean my nasty ass up. I was done for the day, fucking KO LOL i wasnt learing this day, my CHONES were GONE, first you pretend like your shitting, sit down on the pot, take the pants off yoru leg and review the damage. the boxers were fucking stained, see if it were just a little poo poo platter i could get some wet TP, wipe it off, soak it a bit, and get some cologne on that and it could last me the day but this was fucking watter balloon status, DRENCHED. the jeans curiously were pretty fine, just the impact area was wetted, so there was the slightest wet spot on the butt outside the pants. I LEFT MY SHITTED BOXERS THERE, ON THE SIDE OF THE TOILET, FOR ANY WHIPPERSNAPPER TAKING A SHIT TO STUMBLE UPON LOL IF ONLY I HAD THE CHANCE TO SEE THEM DISCOVERED... i walked two miles home, no undies, crusty butt even though it was well treated in the bathroom, MOMS was home and she thought i was regular sluffing (like i often did) but i was like NO! I HAD TO COME HOME! she looked me up and down and stuck her head back in her bedroom door, she knew, but she kept a niggas secret. PEACE TO MY MOMS

KERZO
07-04-2009, 12:19 PM
poopie pants

Tage
07-04-2009, 02:13 PM
thats memoir material.


Credit to Ricky Gervais. :hooray:

J-Cee
07-05-2009, 01:29 AM
well.... I shat myself..

it was in the early years of high school, at a boarding school in New York.. On Wednesdays we had this thing called "putting hands to work".. it was basically an entire school day dedicated to cleaning up campus. The school was in upstate NY and my job along with 8 other students was to tidy up the school trails..

The wind was very cold up there on that hill, a friend and I would smoke before hand to deal with the long hours in the blistering winter walking up and down hills cleaning cigarette butts and empty bottles. before I left I thought "geeze, I kinda have to poop" but decided not to.. what a stupid fucking move..

well, 9 of us and a teacher walked out there.. it seemed to last a lifetime to get to those trails.. to put it plainly: I was ready to explode. I tried so hard to contain myself.. I was red in the face, my friend kept looking over at me just to laugh which consequently made things only worse. After about 45 minutes I just flipped out, told my teacher I was going to poop myself, I needed to get back to campus, ect.. everyone looked at me, I'm pretty sure they knew I was high already and to top it off they had a kid on the verge of shitting himself.. lucky for me the teacher and I were good friends and he understood my situation but not my stupidity.. he let me go which was probably a terrible idea as I should have just found a tree and went there..

I ran vigoriously up those hills to get back to the closest campus bathroom I could find.. about 5 minutes into my run, I tripped over a small rock, fell face first into the frozen ground and almost instantly shit myself. I actually wanted to die, it was the worst possible senario I could have imagined happening.. I marched my ass back to campus, went to my dorm.. fuck that day..

hahahahah,this thread is one of the funniest ive seen in a long time.

Surreptitious
07-05-2009, 08:42 PM
Ive already told this story in a different thread, and Im not typing that shit again

RzaRectum
07-09-2009, 01:43 PM
^copy and paste is your friend.

Sean
07-09-2009, 02:04 PM
LOL @ this thread

I've never shat myself, I didn't realise it was such a common thing amongst grown men lol

Kinda unrelated, but once I walked into the toilets at school and there was a huge turd in the middle of the floor. Like, not even inside the cubicle...just in the middle of the floor. Why not just go IN the toilet? It was like 3 feet away lol

Lex Lugor
07-09-2009, 03:49 PM
sometimes it aint that simple man
you be holding it all the way to the bathroom jus dyin
you might just be three feet away but when it comes, you gotta take it and ruin ya good jeans or just drop trout and leave it in the corner somewhere

Sean
07-09-2009, 04:13 PM
LOL I suppose so. At school though? Somebody could have walked in at any time lol

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-09-2009, 04:23 PM
When I was in 6th grade, this kid named Gibbon (I kid you not) shit himself in English class, everyone knew he did, it reeked of dookey, but of course he denied it. It was like one minute, everything is hunky dory, we're discussing Watership Down, and the next minute it was like a septic tank from the depths of hell opened up. After class, his chair looked liked a greasy fast food bag and the back of his pants looked like it was filled with smashed up tomatoes or something. Then when we had PhysEd class, this idiot put his gym shorts over his regular shorts, still filled with shit, and tried to play sports. Everyone was ranking on him mercillesly, and then he went up to the front office, and his dad came and took him home. After PE, one of the other kids found shit soaked undies in the trash can in the gym locker room.

[Peter Griffin] Uh....Ohhhhh! [/Peter Griffin]

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-09-2009, 04:25 PM
LOL @ this thread

I've never shat myself, I didn't realise it was such a common thing amongst grown men lol

Kinda unrelated, but once I walked into the toilets at school and there was a huge turd in the middle of the floor. Like, not even inside the cubicle...just in the middle of the floor. Why not just go IN the toilet? It was like 3 feet away lol

lmfao

Have you ever gone into a school bathroom and there's shit on the ceiling? When I was in high school, somebody shit on paper towels and hurled them at the ceiling, where they would stick for a little while and then fall.

Sean
07-09-2009, 04:39 PM
^ LOL yeah I seen that. Pretty fucked up haha

People also used to take out the orange jelly part of a jaffa cakes and throw them on the ceiling. I just left school and the same jaffa cakes have been on the ceiling since I started 7 years ago lol

Lex Lugor
07-09-2009, 04:47 PM
lol @ london cats throwing CRUMPETS AND CAKES at the ceiling

what did the mexicans throw

burritos?

niggas threw chicken and watermelon

but it just fell right back down for them to eat


oh yea vay lol niggas STILL talkin about that shit lol
poor dude

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-09-2009, 05:09 PM
^^^you know him? Gibbon Joel Brown was his name lol World famous pants-shitter.

J-Cee
07-09-2009, 11:21 PM
lol @ london cats throwing CRUMPETS AND CAKES at the ceiling

what did the mexicans throw

burritos?

niggas threw chicken and watermelon

but it just fell right back down for them to eat


oh yea vay lol niggas STILL talkin about that shit lol
poor dude

lmfao

ilzPotent
07-09-2009, 11:49 PM
Hilarious shyt!! DOO DOO BROWN - LMFAO!

I've never shyt my panties before. That would be fucked since I don't rock full bloomers. I peed my pants in Kindergarten. Some lil fucker was in our ONE bathroom blowing it up and I was standing there and I had to go but he was taking forever. I peed right there on the floor. I went to my seat like nothing. I guess my thought was fuck-it, I'll air dry. Ugh! the teacher, of course, couldn't miss the puddle of piss and asked who did it. I wasn't raisin my hand. She made us all stand. My cousin smacks my ass and tells the teacher it was me. Bitch snitched on me and I think she was coping a feel. She is full blown lesbo now. But thats it. No wet turds on the panties.

Art Vandelay
07-10-2009, 09:10 AM


were you wearing a thong?

the scarecrow
07-10-2009, 01:28 PM
after a night of drinking i was laying in bed and had to fart, so i farted and shit my pants a bit, so i said fuck it and finished my shit laying there, then proceeded to take a shower

Tage
07-10-2009, 01:39 PM
Kinda unrelated, but once I walked into the toilets at school and there was a huge turd in the middle of the floor. Like, not even inside the cubicle...just in the middle of the floor. Why not just go IN the toilet? It was like 3 feet away lol

what about when you see shit in a urinal? hahaha how the fuck did that happen?

RzaRectum
07-10-2009, 02:02 PM
what about when you see shit in a urinal? hahaha how the fuck did that happen?http://www.fundomain.se/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/girl-peeing-urinal-in-mens-bathroom-1lg.jpg

Dough Snatcher
07-10-2009, 02:33 PM
Long story short.

I drank one of those CVS brand Magnesium Citrate liquid laxatives this past Sunday night, to calm my stomach pains from the expired beans i ate earlier that day(That's another story.) About 30 mins to and hr. after i took boom it. Instant mudd butt. I ran to the shitter and let loss. When i thought it was all over i wiped my ass and the cold sweats (Not exactly in that order) and went back to bed. The next couple of days that shit was still fucking with me, my appetite was fucked so all i could consume was liquids. ie. water and Juice. (I a bag of chips too but whatever.)
Come Wednesday I called out of work because i was up all night basically pissing out of my ass due to my new found diet. So now I'm like "I'm tired of this sick of this shit." (No pun intended) i got up went to McDonalds and got a biscuit combo, are and went back home and got into bed. I wake about an hour or two later in cold sweats once again with the feeling of gas in the pit of my stomach, so i decide to let it rip. The first part of it was one of those farts that's so loud you cant help but laugh at it even if you are the only person in the room to hear it. But as it's bellowing howl decreased, it began to sound as one was pushing under cooked oatmeal through a turkey baster. Then i knew i had shat my self. (Shat past tense of shit.)

And this morning in the shower a little came out when i once again thought it was safe to fart. It circled the drain a couple of times before i could tell what it was but whatever. The smell filled the air rising with the heat of the steam to my nasal cavity...

Surreptitious
07-10-2009, 05:52 PM
this is old but, here is some love, I got drunk to the point last night where I pissed on my girlfriend in our bed, got up and took a shit, didnt whipe and then went and laid on her friend staying on our couch

Also, a few years back it was one of my buddies 21st birthdays. We got a bunch of people together and went out. We were back at the hotel room doing coke until about 6 in the morning. There are probably 7 girls and 5 guys in this room. I had just laid down in the corner to try and rest and farted. Well, unfortunately that fart had some substance. Everyone heard me rip one and then all of the sudden I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. My pants looked like Skampoes face at an all you can eat buffet. I had to leave the hotel the next day with a sheet draped around me. The pants and boxers were left for the maid.

Art Vandelay
03-01-2011, 04:01 AM
Bump

http://cdn2.maxim.com/maxim/files/2010/07/16/maxims-5-favorite-gifs-for-friday-heidi-klum-edition/Bump.gif

cutn' heads
03-01-2011, 05:53 AM
week 2 of the nfl last year. ravens lost to the bengals. i was at the bar, watching the game. my wife brought some hot wings. everything was lovely. after the game i stopped by my buddys house to play some cards and drink more beer. was taking a piss, felt a fart coming and got a decent squirt of runny turd in my undies. it was enough that a clean-up wasnt gonna help. so i panicked. i decided i had to lose the drawers but his trashcan was empty and there was no bag in it. then i noticed the can had some kinda hard, plastic liner in it. so i pulled up the liner, threw my poop pants in there and put the liner back on. i really, really meant to go back for them when i was leaving, but i forgot. i was laying in bed later that night and started to imagine how terrible that it would eventually smell, so i sent my boy a text explaining what happened. he went and got them out. i have seen dude maybe 5 times since then and he has yet to mention it. not once. thats a real friend if you ask me...

check two
03-01-2011, 07:20 PM
^^

ha ha ha

16th_Chamber
03-01-2011, 08:41 PM
was farting at work didn't notice it at all 2 hours later i went to poop and my ass and gooch was all crusty so i come out the bathroom and was like i need to go home cause i have the shits and i'm not feelin well to the supervisor so i go home and shower and use the head to clean out my ass 45min shower.

Longbongcilvaringz
03-02-2011, 04:05 AM
what the fuck, this thread is unbelievable, why are all you guys shitting yourselves?

dret.izm
03-02-2011, 04:23 AM
what the fuck, this thread is unbelievable, why are all you guys shitting yourselves?


aahahahahhhahhahahaaaah!!!! !!

Crackhead Bob
03-02-2011, 04:25 AM
It's a common reaction to a new Wu-Tang banger.

cutn' heads
03-02-2011, 06:23 AM
what the fuck, this thread is unbelievable, why are all you guys shitting yourselves?


i blame it on the hot wings and cheap beer at my friends house. potentially lethal combo...

diggy
03-02-2011, 11:24 AM
Funny.

My anus is really tight though, so I don't experience these things.

shystar36
03-02-2011, 12:05 PM
2nd grade. all of elementary school i was stuck in after school care so i'd be at school til like 6 or 7 whenever my mom got out of work to get me. well my ass was about to explode so i go to use the bathroom, no sweat. when i get there the janitors locking the door. i tell him i need to shit, he says i can't go in that the toilets aren't working. i go to office ask if i can use the bathroom that i need to go real bad, they show no love. i go back to the classroom, sit down, begin shitting my shorts. i remember telling everyone that came near me "watch out i just farted". i believe around 6 we had to wait for our parents in the front of school, when my mom got there i walked to the car quickly, sat in the car seat and shit spilling falling down my leg. i started crying like a bitch.

Dokuro
03-02-2011, 12:13 PM
you all dudes is unhealthy

Shogah
03-03-2011, 12:18 PM
My pants shitting story happened when i was 5 or 6 years old in the kindergarden, so it holds no comical value, but other kids noticed it so it was embarassing.

How come this is not in classic section yet?

Mr. R&B
03-03-2011, 07:02 PM
i blame it on the hot wings and cheap beer at my friends house. potentially lethal combo...

That'll do it to ya, almost every time. :b

I ingest both on a pretty regular basis, so I'm no stranger to this brand of unhappy accident.

I don't think I've ever taken an entire shit in my pants, unless I'm blocking out a repressed memory.

I haven't had to deal with much more than that initial squirt-fart, I wouldn't want to have to clean up an entire load.

One day a few years ago, I was washing dishes in the nude and had an accident on the kitchen floor.

FML

RzaRectum
03-21-2011, 08:11 PM
Funny.

My anus is really tight though, so I don't experience these things.
It used to be.. :=)

Tecknowledgist
03-21-2011, 10:31 PM
reading this thread almost makes me wish i had a horrible pants-shitting experience to share

Art Vandelay
07-10-2011, 12:51 PM
uggghh. it happened to me again. hahaha.

so i'm taking a break from work the other day and there is a walking/running track nearby. i wanted to jog a lap or 2, but i didn't want to go back to work all sweaty. so i decide i'll just walk a couple miles.

i'm not quite at the 3/4 mile mark (my car is at the mile mark) and i let out a fart and i shit myself. i caught it about halfway. hahaha.

so there are no bathrooms or woods. i'm next to a highway. i half to walk over a quarter mile to my car, go to a gas station and clean up.

tajeco
07-10-2011, 01:02 PM
I was about 4-5, I tried to fart but a little poo ball dropped out. I picked it up and said to my friend's sister "open your mouth and close your eyes, I have a big surprise", and she did, but unfortunatly she opened her eyes too soon, and i was standing there holding a poo ball in my fingers. Stupid me, I should have thrown it in her mouth

MAYOR QUIMBY
07-10-2011, 02:11 PM
My shit story happened about 5 years ago. It was my first year in college. I was in class and I remember I used to sit next to the cutest white girl. Her and I would flirt at times. One time during class my stomach began hurting and I had to take a shit. I left and ran to the bathroom. As soon as I sat on the toilet the diarrhea began spewing out like vomit. Kinda like when you cover a hose with your thumb and turn it up full blast. It was explosive. It took me 20 minutes to clean myself up. When I was done I still smelled like doo-doo so I grabbed the plastic air freshener thingies they put inside the toilet paper roll to make the bathrooms smell nice. I ripped it out and rubbed my ass with it. I rubbed my clothes with it too. When I left the bathroom and came back to class, I was all sweaty and I realized I smelled like dookie with cheap air freshener. People were backing away from me. I was hella embarrassed. The white girl never talked to me again.

llBARlllCODEll
07-10-2011, 03:56 PM
i dont have any funny stories about myself. ive shat on my self but nothin funny and was so close to home nothing happened to gt embarrassed about it.

got one about my friend tho. and everytime i think about it i laugh out loud for about five minutes. whether im talkin about it or even if the thought of it crosses my mind.

so this was about 10 yrs ago give or take a yr. my friend was stayin wit me cuz his parents kicked him out for sneakin his gf in the house at 2 am.

anyway...so hes stayin wit me but he knew his dad wasnt home and his mom was. so he was like i'll be back in like 20 minutes. im gon to see my mom. so 30 minutes goes by and i hear a knock at the door. i opened it up and it was him. he was like HEY MAn!! then he tries to stick his hand near my face so i backed up. then i looked at his hand and he had shit all over his index, mddle and ring finger.

i said DUDE WTF are U DOING? why the fuck u got shit on ur hand? next thing i know i look him in the face and focused on his nose. the mufucka had SHIT ON HIS NOSE!!! it looked like the tip of a Hershey Kiss. like if u stick ur finger in frosting and pull it out that point of frosting that sticks up. thats what it looked like. i said man go wash the fuck up u shitty bastard lol. so he goes in the bathroom and my mom heard us laughin and she said whats so funny? I said OH nothin JUST SOME SHHIT HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

i could be in a courtroom or something and if that memory crosses my mind i cant help bustin out laughin for like 5-10 minutes. that is a classic memory of my adolescence

llBARlllCODEll
07-10-2011, 03:58 PM
oh yeah...his excuse was his mom left and locked all the doors so he shat in the yard. still dont know how it ended up on his nose. i guess he didnt think his shit stunk lmao


i also asked him why he walked all the way back to my house with shit on his hands instead of wipin it in the grass. he really didnt have anything to say

Mai Wang Tu Phat
07-11-2011, 10:54 AM
"It's your baby"

Socrates92
07-11-2011, 11:34 AM
At school a couple of years ago when I was 16/17, I farted a couple of times, really smelly ones and my mates were getting pissed off. I then went for one final deadly one, tryna finish them off and shit came out. It was the day of a class trip. I went to the toilets to try and repair the situation but the whole school had been blacked out due to a power failure. I thought, 'fuck this, I'm going home'. Didn't go back to the class to tell anyone, nobody knows I did it. The teacher the next day was asking where I went, I said I threw up and went home.

Another funny poo story. I was playing tennis with my mate and really needed a shit. I went for one in a ditch near the court. I moved it with a stick and got my mate to come and look at the shit for lols. He said I'd hidden it poorly so as a joke picked up a stick to move it. Unfortunately for him, it was the exact stick I'd already used so he had my poo on his hand. He ran home to disinfect his hand lol, poor lad.

MAYOR QUIMBY
07-17-2011, 05:46 PM
^ RRRROOOFFFFLLLL @ Socrates

check two
07-30-2013, 09:47 AM
- Ronald Strong Given Jail Time for Pooping His Pants in Maine


Ronald Strong, was imprisoned in Portland Maine after having had some issues with making it to the bathroom in a timely manner. According to this article, Ronald Strong’s seven-day jail sentence was upheld by the 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals last week for willfully damaging and creating a hazard and nuisance in the federal courthouse in Portland. Specifically, he pooped his pants and then left a mess in the bathroom after attempting to clean himself up.

It’s hard to believe a story like this would necessitate what turned out to be an extremely graphic 57-page court document, written by distinguished judges who sit one level below the U.S. Supreme Court, that included vivid comparisons to spaghetti with meat sauce and chunky peanut butter. There are also photos of the bathroom where the crime took place, though thankfully, for those who had to view them, the photos were taken after it had already been cleaned.

In his defense, Strong claims that the cleaning lady had exaggerated the extent of the damage, and that he was so humiliated and intent on cleaning himself he wasn’t paying any mind to the condition of the bathroom. He absolutely denies deliberately putting excrement on federal property. “I would never do that; that is so nasty. I just — I mean, I was just — trying to touching myself trying to clean myself up I was – I was grossed out, it was like just cleaning myself. I can’t imagine any human being that would deliberately smear anything of that–” he testified. “My intentions were my persons. I wasn’t thinking anything about the bathroom floor.”

Maybe Strong should provide the court with a copy of the kids book “Everyone Poops,” so that the judges may have some sympathy on him. Folks, sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up.

http://nj1015.com/ronald-strong-given-jail-time-for-pooping-his-pants-in-maine/

Durag
08-03-2013, 02:38 AM
Damn I got forgot bout this thread, this shit is fuckin hilarious I'm almost shitting myself laughing!

MaskedAvenger
08-03-2013, 02:56 AM
Damn when I got some time I'm a have to peep this thread properly

ilzPotent
08-03-2013, 02:58 PM
hilarious.. still

Art Vandelay
08-03-2013, 04:38 PM
hilarious.. still

Tell your story, Ilz

EAGLE EYE
08-03-2013, 04:43 PM
what the fuck, this thread is unbelievable, why are all you guys shitting yourselves?


Because 'Merica

Why would you not want to shit your pants in this great country?

Surreptitious
08-04-2013, 08:58 PM
years ago

friends 21st birthday party

excessive amounts of blow

didn't make it to the hotel room bathroom

walked out of the hotel wrapped in a sheet

EAGLE EYE
08-04-2013, 09:18 PM
If anything blow makes me constipated.

Last time I shat my drawers or actually my "swim suit" was at a pig roast way up in the North East @ some giant lake house ...like 4 yrs back.

I had never eaten delicious roasted pig over a fire, and they had a makeshift bar with unlimited margaritas and mint julips or something gay. I forgot both drinks are like natural laxatives.

So after about 8 drinks and watching the creepy back woods DJ they hired play Eddie Murphy's "Party all the time" 10x in a row. PS - - He looked like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite.

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/L3LHAlcrTRA/0.jpg

bDbpzjbXUZI

The bass vibrations must of unsettled my stomach and I tried running up hill into the pitch black night behind the garage. I think I ran through some poison oak while I was squirting out a watery, vicious fudge dragon. I proceeded to rip down my board shorts and sprayed that shit like a sprinkler - simultaneously getting bitten by mosquitos and black flies.

Then drunkly walked 1/4 mile out of the way down to the shore to rinse off, then about 3/4 of a mile up a dirt road to where my car was parked to change like nothing had ever happened.

When it was all done and over I went up to the DJ and requested he put on some Boyz II Men.

EAGLE EYE
08-04-2013, 09:29 PM
I should also mention some fat bitch who ACTUALLY looked like that fat bitch from "ALL THAT" wouldn't get out of the bathroom, so the only course of action was to MacGyver the impending shit explosion.

Time was not on my side that night.

GZAjector
08-04-2013, 09:50 PM
hahaha! macgyver shit

http://blog.glennz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/what_would_macgyver_do.jpg

http://www.misguidedmommy.com/uploads/images/guy%20pooping%20pants.jpeg

diggy
08-04-2013, 11:29 PM
Hahaha. Nice story. And that pic is nasty.

Art Vandelay
08-04-2013, 11:45 PM
http://m.espn.go.com/general/story?storyId=5651802&src=desktop

check two
08-05-2013, 01:06 AM
Pig roasts are pretty creepy just to look at.

BRASSKNUCKLED PAI MEI
08-05-2013, 11:56 AM
hahaha! macgyver shit

http://blog.glennz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/what_would_macgyver_do.jpg

http://www.misguidedmommy.com/uploads/images/guy%20pooping%20pants.jpeg

Shit, thats some defecation errr I mean dedication