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View Full Version : Cops arrest goat in NIGERIA for stealing car. goat was a man, transformed into a goat


Art Vandelay
01-23-2009, 06:00 PM
Newspaper claims suspect transformed into a goat

LAGOS, Nigeria One of Nigeria's biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.
The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.
The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.
Police in the state couldn't immediately be reached for comment.
Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.

check two
01-23-2009, 06:13 PM
Is this another Onion story, Abe Vigoda?

food for thought
01-23-2009, 06:15 PM
lol

Art Vandelay
01-23-2009, 06:19 PM
Is this another Onion story, Abe Vigoda?


lmao, i swear it's not this time

it's on yahoo's main page

check two
01-23-2009, 06:20 PM
I'm going to have to verify that, cause I check out yahoo's main page a lot. lol

check two
01-23-2009, 06:21 PM
Ok, I just saw it. lol

Art Vandelay
01-23-2009, 06:21 PM
i just read that again. that does sound like an onion article. LMAO

food for thought
01-23-2009, 06:22 PM
lmao i thought you just typed it up LOL

11th Chamber
01-23-2009, 06:23 PM
Africa is weird as shit

check two
01-23-2009, 06:24 PM
Do you have a picture of the suspect/goat?

check two
01-23-2009, 06:25 PM
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090123/ap_on_fe_st/odd_goat_thief

Art Vandelay
01-23-2009, 06:30 PM
lmao i thought you just typed it up LOL


i guess that nicky tooch article i wrote a few weeks back was that good then?


http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1420522#post1420522 (http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1420522#post1420522)

Nicky Tooch might be dead. Really.

Cleveland, OH (AP) -- Authorities are asking your help to locate a missing local man and Wu-Tang fan. He was last seen the morning of December 12th when he posted a message about Oscar De La Hoya in "The Official Boxing Thread" in the Sports Zone on www.wutangcorp.com. Authorities are particularly worried because of a thread Tooch made the evening before. "Mr. Tooch's final thread has us alarmed," said Wu-Tang Corp forum moderator Prolific English. "Five days ago, he created the thread entitled 'I'm thinkin about using harder drugs...' and it was his last. He made a few more posts that evening, proceeded to get some sleep. The victim awoke again the following morning, made just three more posts Then he vanished. It is unlike anybody to be gone for more than a day without announcing their retirement." When asked if he would accept any assistance from any Thisis50.com moderators, Mr. English replied, "This is a wutangcorp.com case and we intend to keep it that way."

Other members have been pretty open about their theories. "If I lived in Cleveland, I would kill myself, too," said an unshaken Art Vandelay who demanded to remain faceless. "Can you imagine rooting for a team as horrible as the Browns?"

"He isn't here anymore because I e-destroyed him," remarked the wide-nostrilled TheShaolinAssassin. "He e-lost in an e-battle with e-me. This is the greatest day of my e-life. Now if I could only get some pussy. elohelohels"

Blackula was thrilled about the news. "I don't even know who NickyTooch is, but at least that's one less person without pictures of my meat pocket." She also added "Fuck IlzPotent," who could not be reached for comment because she was filing a restraining order from Mr. Vandelay.

Everyone is hoping for the best, but chances of finding him get slimmer than Minibumpsh chest each day. Wu-Tangcorp owner Cilvaringz summed it up best when he said, "Man, that NickyTooch sure could chop heads and swing swords. I admire a guy that likes to swing swords and chop heads. You best protect your neck when Tooch swung swords because your head would get chopped." Ringz then added, "Rza likes me better than Nick Tooch. I'm putting out a DVD to prove it if you don't believe me"

TSA
01-23-2009, 07:23 PM
Newspaper claims suspect transformed into a goat

LAGOS, Nigeria One of Nigeria's biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.
The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.
The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.
Police in the state couldn't immediately be reached for comment.
Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!

Crack Killz
01-23-2009, 07:38 PM
that's some funny stuff.

Art Vandelay
01-23-2009, 08:02 PM
http://inlinethumb53.webshots.com/43316/2963911130103320611S600x600Q85.jpg

Dokuro
01-23-2009, 08:03 PM
hahah shit i can turn into a racoon

DUMBO
01-24-2009, 10:18 AM
why hasn't this thread been moved to KTL????

Tage
01-24-2009, 01:12 PM
best thread title '09!

drippie k
01-24-2009, 01:33 PM
wtf? first they loose a fucking satellite and now they're prosecuting a goat who they think is actually an animorph




kinda makes you wonder how the fuck they even got a satellite up there in the first place

IrOnMaN
01-24-2009, 01:38 PM
Beast Wars

DR. NICK RIVIERA
01-24-2009, 01:41 PM
this reminds me of Chris Rock's When Animal's Attack In High Speed Chases II

Art Vandelay
01-24-2009, 01:43 PM
best thread title '09!


lol, thanks wutage, i actually appreciate that because i worked on that title for several minutes. it was hard coming up with something with the limited number of spaces available. i had a couple others that i deleted before finally settling on this one.

i needed to make the wu-corper realize that the police arrested a goat, who stole a car while he was a man. the first one i wrote made it sound like a man stole a car, was arrested, then turned into a goat. the 2nd title sounded like a man turned into a goat, then stole a car, then was arrested. plus i had to work nigeria into the title for the obvious tsa factor.

IrOnMaN
01-24-2009, 02:12 PM
http://www.unicron.com/alterations/figures/ramulus.jpg

TSA
01-24-2009, 02:23 PM
but yeah, ppl in nigeria believe this shit for real.
FOR REAL

not no "maybe it could happen"

FOR FUCKING REAL and there's alot of stuff there that would implicate it being true but i still dont believe it.

my dad said he saw i guy summon thunder on a clear ass day and it hit a tree infront of them in their neighborhood, he doesn't believe in that shit but he always cites that incident as why it should be given serious thought.

if i told you some shit going on there you wouldn't believe me in 1000 years, i dont even believe me, but reading Nigerian Newspapers is beyond any other form on entertainment.


a women made a mans dick disappear cause he owed her money

the headline was something like

Man's Penis Vanishes from Unpaid Debt
then they had a picture of some Omar Epps looking dickless nigga and the quote
"I woke up in the morning and my penis was gone"

that voodoo is some shit, a guy from New Orleans told me his mom put a curse on his dad and his dad broke out into boils.


his mom was in NO and dad in Nebraska but his dad broke out from head to toe in boils and doctors couldn't tell what caused it.

So it's funny to hear about but if ppl can believe it you have to ask why.

Sgt Holly Wood
01-24-2009, 02:27 PM
im pretty sure that goat was RAMESH..

Art Vandelay
01-24-2009, 03:07 PM
my dad said he saw i guy summon thunder on a clear ass day and it hit a tree infront of them in their neighborhood.


how can someone see thunder hit a tree?

food for thought
01-24-2009, 03:11 PM
Lmfao

DR. NICK RIVIERA
01-24-2009, 03:12 PM
im pretty sure that goat was RAMESH..

Ramesh is far away from Nigeria, man, those african cops must be idiots if they didn't catch him since he stole the car from SAR to Nigeria lol

-The A to the Z-
01-24-2009, 03:15 PM
Ooooooooooooooooooooooh crazy Black folk, and the joys they bring to the mundanity of life.

Sgt Holly Wood
01-24-2009, 03:16 PM
oh word i forgot he's from south africa ^^

that dude had delinquent tendencies though, he still banned right?

DR. NICK RIVIERA
01-24-2009, 03:17 PM
I hope not, I want to get him pissed again...

check two
01-24-2009, 03:39 PM
Yeah, that voodoo stuff is not to messsed with. People being put into zombie like states and what not.

TSA
01-24-2009, 03:41 PM
how can someone see thunder hit a tree?
shut up fatass you know what i mean

Art Vandelay
01-24-2009, 04:35 PM

drippie k
01-24-2009, 06:58 PM
shut up fatass you know what i mean
http://kenny.smoovenet.com/grabpics/kyle.gif

RADIOACTIVE MAN
01-24-2009, 09:53 PM
http://inlinethumb53.webshots.com/43316/2963911130103320611S600x600Q85.jpg


-dead-

TSA
01-24-2009, 11:06 PM
http://inlinethumb53.webshots.com/43316/2963911130103320611S600x600Q85.jpg
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHA H!!!11

Tage
01-25-2009, 07:48 AM
Hahahahahahahahahaha^

Art Vandelay
05-23-2010, 10:32 PM
here's my other favorite nigerian thread