Fuck my life

[Its Big Lu baby]

Laughing at other peoples expenses is fun. Recently I discovered fmylife.com
where people write horrible shitty things that have happen to them followed by FML... so I figure we start a Wucorp FML
heres some examples to get you started...

"Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML"

"Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML"

"Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML"

"Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML"

[YungSunny]

I'm black and live in Tennessee. FML

[Dokuro]

im on the wutang corp FML













.....
http://www.cedema.org/uploads/elsalvador-fmln.jpeg

[narc]

"Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML"

ahahaha thats heartless

[DJMethods]

Yeah this shit is gold, was rolling laughing when i found this site. you posted shit ones dough.

"Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me."



"Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a shit. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat."



"Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy."




"Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious."






WORD

[Energy Turtle]

Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

mad cunt

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

Today I found my daughter on facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

LMAO ^^ GAVINATED

[Sicka than aidZ]

im on the run from the copz in seattle playin baseball on the sega genesis drinkin pabst blue ribbon on a saturday night....FML:thumbdwn:

[002]

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college.


ahahahaha. yeah, it's a pretty funny site, .. most of them are a bunch of woosies.

[Its Big Lu baby]

"Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious."

haha yeah i read that one before

SICKA! what up nigs i havent talked to your ass in a minute. how you been you crazy mf? and stop drinking pabst it gives you diarreah

[cap]

haha great thread

[narc]

"Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML"

"Today, I got stoned at a party for the first time. On the drive home I sat at an intersection waiting for the green light for few minutes. I finally realized the green light was never coming. So did the cop behind me. I was at a stop sign. FML"

[Sicka than aidZ]

"Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious."

haha yeah i read that one before

SICKA! what up nigs i havent talked to your ass in a minute. how you been you crazy mf? and stop drinking pabst it gives you diarreah


yeah no doubt i got locked out my girls crib, got drunk with some cat at the bus stop and before i knew it i was shittin in an alley at some hood party by the space needle with no toilet paper in the pourin rain....yo no chirp chirp, no bus fare and no directions dog, walked like a mile the wrong way and like 4 more up capitol hill just to get home. cant say i didnt have fun tho, it was a dope party, cept everyone was black and ghetto cept one native and some white girlz

[beautifulrock]

vXdiORUo40Ihahaahahahahahahah

FML

[Its Big Lu baby]

im wastyed and i gota study for a huge teeeeessssst tomoorriow FML

[BGS]

this site is gold!!

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

Today, I finally got the chance to hook up with the girl I really like. She was naked, and as she was taking my pants off, she looked at my penis and said, "oh, I just remembered I have to babysit my little sister today." FML

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

[JehovAllah]

Today, I took a massive dump at work and proceeded to clog an industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she proceeded to run out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML



Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML


Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML


Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

[JehovAllah]

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

[JehovAllah]

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

[Longbongcilvaringz]

I think it's great you were banned for that post./

[Durag]

haha

whats Skamp banned for? lemme guess the mods wont tell us

[Tectrus Moa]

Sweet mother of Jesus! Skampoe was talking about using the women's restroom.:{ That's why he got banned. WOW!

[cap]

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

americans have to pay to receive text messages??

haha land of the "free" takes another L

[L~>1<~NKS]

big luuuuu

how those college orgies treatin u?

[Its Big Lu baby]

big luuuuu

how those college orgies treatin u?

Hahaha lets just say college is treating me nicely lol

whats good kid?

[Koolish]

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

fuck that's harsh.

this site kills the shit out of www.grouphug.us. that place got gay.