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EAGLE EYE
02-21-2009, 03:45 PM
By Marc Russel (http://www.cracked.com/members/dr_toonie)
http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/funpages/cms_content/17019/soldiers_large.jpg

We all understand that action movies are cheesy escapism. After all, could one commando really take out a whole compound full of bad guys?
Actually, yes. It turns out the history books are full of stories of soldiers doing things so badass they'd hesitate to put them into a film for fear of killing the realism. Like these five, for example.
#5.
Simo Hayha

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha.jpg
Who Was He?
Simo Hayha had a fairly boring life in Finland. He served his one mandatory year in the military, and then became a farmer. But when the Soviet Union invaded his homeland in 1939, he decided he wanted to help his country.
Since the majority of fighting took place in the forest, he figured the best way to stop the invasion was to grab his trusty rifle, a couple of cans of food and hide in a tree all day shooting Russians. In six feet of snow. And 20-40 degrees below zero.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha2.jpg
Can you spot Hayha? Neither could the Russians.
Of course when the Russians heard that dozens of their men were going down and that it was all one dude with a rifle, they got fucking scared. He became known as "The White Death" because of his white camouflage outfit, and they actually mounted whole missions just to kill that one guy.
They started by sending out a task force to find Hayha and take him out. He killed them all.
Then they tried getting together a team of counter-snipers (which are basically snipers that kill snipers) and sent them in to eliminate Hayha. He killed all of them, too.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha3.jpg
Over the course of 100 days, Hayha killed 542 people with his rifle. He took out another 150 or so with his SMG, sending his credited kill-count up to 705.
Since everyone they had was either too dead or too scared to go anywhere near him, the Russians just carpet-bombed everywhere they thought he might be. Supposedly, they had the location right, and he actually got hit by a cloud of shrapnel that tore his coat up, but didn't actually hurt him, because he's the fucking White Death, damn it.
Finally on March 6th, 1940, some lucky bastard shot Hayha in the head with an exploding bullet. When some other soldiers found him and brought him back to base, he "had half his head missing." The White Death had finally been stopped...
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha4.jpg
...for about a week. In spite of having come down with a nasty case of shot-in-the-face syndrome, he was still very much alive, and regained consciousness on March 13, the very day the war ended.
The Best Hollywood Could Come Up With:
Bob Lee Swagger (Mark Wahlberg) from Shooter:
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha5.jpg
In Shooter, Mark Wahlberg plays a reclusive, worn-out ex-sniper trying to escape the ghosts of his past. Bob Lee is called in by the FBI who want to know if he (hypothetically) wanted to murder, let's say, the president, how would he (hypothetically) do it? They claim that he's "the best there is" because after years of training with long-distance shooting, he successfully killed 70 men in the desert with one of these:
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha6.jpg
Why it doesn't Compare:
Aside from the obvious fact that Hayha killed over 10 times as many men after only the most basic military training, he did it in 40-below weather, in the middle of the forest. And he did it all with one of these:
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/hayha7.jpg
#4.
Yogendra Singh Yadav

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/yadav.jpg
Who Was He?
Yogendra Singh Yadav was a member of an Indian grenadier battalion during a conflict with Pakistan in 1999. Their mission was to climb "Tiger Hill" (actually a big-ass mountain), and neutralize the three enemy bunkers at the top. Unfortunately, this meant climbing up a sheer hundred-foot cliff-face of solid ice. Since they didn't want to all climb up one at a time with ice-axes, they decided they'd send one guy up, and he'd fasten the ropes to the cliff as he went, so everyone else could climb up the sissy way. Yadav, being awesome, volunteered.
Half way up the icy cliff-o'-doom, enemies stationed on an adjacent mountain opened fire, shooting them with an RPG, then spraying assault-rifle fire all over the cliff. Half his squad was killed, including the commander, and the rest were scattered and disorganized. Yadav, in spite of being shot three times, kept climbing.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/yadav2.jpg
When he reached the top, one of the target bunkers opened fire on him with machine guns. Yadav ran toward the hail of bullets, pitched a grenade in the window and killed everyone inside. By this point the second bunker had a clear shot and opened fire, so he ran at them, taking bullets while he did, and killed the four heavily-armed men inside with his bare hands.
Meanwhile, the remainder of his squad was standing at the top of the cliff staring at him saying, "dude, holy shit!" They then all went and took the third bunker with little trouble.
For his gallantry and sheer ballsiness, he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra, India's highest military award. Unlike the Medal of Honor, the Param Vir Chakra is only given for "rarest of the rare gallantry which is beyond the call of duty and which in normal life is considered impossible to do." That's right, you actually have to break the laws of reality just to be eligible.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/yadav3.jpg
And we imagine the medal looks like two, brass testicles.
It has only been awarded 21 times, and two thirds of the people who earned it died in the process. It was initially reported that Yadav had as well, but it turns out that they just mistook him for someone less badass. Or they just figured no real human being could survive a broken leg, shattered arm and 10-15 fresh bullet holes in one sitting.
The best Hollywood could come up with:
John McClane (Bruce Wilis) from Die Hard:
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/yadav4.jpg
Why it Doesn't Compare:
McClane has a fairly impressive resume of badassery, climbing through elevator shafts and killing terrorists with his bare hands, much like Yadav, except Yadav took more bullets in 10 minutes than McClane did in the entire series without even slowing down. Plus, he was fucking 19-years-old! Try to imagine a high school Bruce Willis screaming, "yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!"
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/yadav5.jpg
Exactly.
#3.
Jack Churchill

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/churchill.jpg
Who Was He?
An allied commander in WWII, and an avid fan of surfing, Captain Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill aka "Fighting Jack Churchill" aka "Mad Jack" was basically the craziest motherfucker in the whole damn war.
He volunteered for commando duty, not actually knowing what it entailed, but knowing that it sounded dangerous, and therefore fun. He is best known for saying that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed" and, in following with this, for carrying a sword into battle. In WWII. And not one of those sissy ceremonial things the Marines have. No, Jack carried a fucking claymore. And he used it, too. He is credited with capturing a total of 42 Germans and a mortar squad in the middle of the night, using only his sword.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/churchill2.jpg
Churchill and his team were tasked with capturing a German fortification creatively called "Point 622." Churchill took the lead, charging ahead of the group into the dark through the barbed wire and mines, pitching grenades as he went. Although his unit did their best to catch up, all but six of them were lost to silly things like death. Of those six, half were wounded and all any of them had left were pistols. Then a mortar shell swung in and killed/mortally wounded everyone who wasn't Jack Churchill.
When the Germans found him, he was playing "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his bagpipes. Oh, we didn't mention that? He carried them right next to his big fucking sword.
After being sent to a concentration camp, he got bored and left. Just walked out. They caught him again, and sent him to a new camp. So he left again. After walking 150 miles with only a rusty can of onions for food, he was picked up by the Americans and sent back to Britain, where he demanded to be sent back into the field, only to find out (with great disappointment) the war had ended while he was on his way there. As he later said to his friends, "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"
The Best Hollywood Could Come Up With:
Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert DuVall) from Apocalypse Now, of "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" fame.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/churchill3.jpg
Why It Doesn't Compare:
Well, truth be told, they're pretty much the same person. They're both at home on the battlefield, they have the same philosophies of war and both of them seem to be immune to mortar fire and bullets. Churchill's basically a crazier, Scottish version of Kilgore. With a big fucking broadsword. Like if Kilgore was played by William Wallace from Braveheart on crystal meth.



#2.
Alvin York

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/york.jpg
Who Was He?
Born to a family of redneck farmers from Tennessee, Alvin York spent much of his youth getting piss drunk in bars and getting into crazy barfights. When his friend got killed in one of the aforementioned barfights, he swore off the liquor, and became a pacifist. When he received his draft notice in 1917, York filed as a "conscientious objector" but was denied. They shipped his ass out to basic training.
About a year later, he was one of 17 men designated to sneak around and take out a fortified machine-gun encampment guarding a German railroad. As they were approaching, the gunners spotted them and opened fire, tearing nine of the men to pieces.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/york2.jpg
What's left of York's troupe.
The few survivors that didn't have enormous balls of steel ran away, leaving York standing there taking fire from 32 heavy machine gunners. As he said in his diary,
"I didn't have time to dodge behind a tree or dive into the brush, I didn't even have time to kneel or lie down. I had no time no how to do nothing but watch them-there German machine gunners and give them the best I had. Every time I seed a German I just touched him off. At first I was shooting from a prone position; that is lying down; just like we often shoot at the targets in the shooting matches in the mountains of Tennessee; and it was just about the same distance. But the targets here were bigger. I just couldn't miss a German's head or body at that distance. And I didn't."
After he killed the first 20 men or so, a German lieutenant got five guys together to try to take this guy from the side. York pulled out his Colt .45 (which only had eight bullets) and killed all of them with it, a practice he likened to "shoot[ing] wild turkeys back home."
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/york3.jpg
At this point lieutenant Paul Jurgen Vollmer yelled out over the noise asking if York was English. See, in WWI, no one really took the Americans very seriously, and everyone thought of them as the rookies. Vollmer figured this crazy/awesome/ballsy soldier must be some kind of English superman who was showing these sissy Americans how it was done. When York said he was American, Vollmer replied "Good Lord! If you won't shoot any more I will make them give up."
Ten minutes later, 133 men came walking towards the remains of York's battalion. Lieutenant Woods, York's superior at first thought it was a German counter-attack until he saw York, who saluted and said "Corporal York reports with prisoners, sir." When the stunned officer asked how many, York replied "Honest, Lieutenant, I don't know."
The Best Hollywood Could Come Up With:
John Rambo from Rambo.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/york4.jpg
Why it Doesn't Compare:
Sure, Rambo takes on a huge chunk of the Vietnamese soldiers guarding a POW camp and slaughters them all. But that was a good 10 years after the war ended. It's not like they were expecting some guy to come charging into the camp, mowing everybody down.
York pulled his badassery off in the middle of a war, while outnumbered every bit as badly as Rambo was. And York's the one who was a pacifist.
#1.
Audie Murphy

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/murphy.jpg
Who Was He?
When Audie Murphy applied to the Marines in 1942 at the tender age of 16, he was 5'5" and weighed 110 pounds. They laughed in his face. So he applied to the Air Force, and they also laughed in his face. Then he applied for the Army, and they figured they could always use another grunt to absorb gunfire, so they let him in. He wasn't particularly good at it, and they actually tried to get him transferred to be a cook after he passed out halfway through training. He insisted that he wanted to fight though, so they sent him into the maelstrom.
During the invasion of Italy he was promoted to corporal for his awesome shooting skills, and at the same time contracted malaria, which he had for almost the entire war. Try to remember that.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/murphy2.jpg
He was sent into southern France in 1944. He encountered a German machine gun crew who pretended they were surrendering, then shot his best buddy. Murphy completely hulked out, killed everyone in the gun nest, then used their weaponry to kill every baddie in a 100-yard radius, including two more machine gun nests and a bunch of snipers. They gave him a Distiguished Service Cross, and made him platoon commander while everyone apologized profusely for calling him "Shorty."
About half a year later, his company was given the job of defending the Colmar Pocket, a critical region in France, even though all they had left was 19 guys (out of the original 128) and a couple of M-10 Tank Destroyers.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/murphy3.jpg
The Germans showed up with a shitload of guys and half a dozen tanks. Since reinforcements weren't coming for a while, Murphy and his men hid in a trench and sent the M-10s to go do the heavy lifting. They got ripped to shreds.
Then, this five-and-a-half-foot-tall kid with malaria ran up to one of the crippled M-10s, hopped in behind the .50 cal machine gun, and started killing everything in sight. Understand that the M-10 was on fire, had a full tank of gas and was basically a death-trap.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/murphy4.jpg
He is a seriously tiny man.
He kept going for almost an hour until he was out of bullets, then walked back to his bewildered men as the M-10 exploded in the background Mad Max style. They gave him literally every medal they could (33 in all, although he had doubles of a few, plus five from France and one from Belgium), including the Medal of Honor.
After the war, he came down with Shell-Shock, and was prescribed the antidepressant placidyl. When he became addicted to the drug, rather than enter a program like some kind of sissy, he went cold-turkey, locked himself in a motel room for a week and got over it. He wrote an autobiography entitled To Hell and Back, and later became an actor.
The Best Hollywood Could Come Up With:
Audie Murphy (Audie Murphy) from To Hell and Back:
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/badass_soldiers/murphy5.jpg
He is a seriously tiny man.
In To Hell and Back, Audie Murphy plays Audie Murphy, a badass war hero who proves his worth on the battlefield with his awesome badassery. The movie was the highest-grossing film Universal made, a record it held for 20 years until the making of Jaws. That's right, they actually needed a movie about a giant, man-eating, shark to top Audie Murphy's awesomeness.
Why it Doesn't Compare:
When some Hollywood producer wanted to make a movie based on Murphy's autobiography, he was determined to have Murphy play himself in the film. Murphy was afraid people would see the complete insane awesomeness the story had to offer, and think he was embellishing or trying to cash in on his fame, so he actually had them take parts out for fear that they wouldn't be believable to a Hollywood audience. Seriously.
Sometimes killing a dozen men at once isn't what makes you badass, but how a dozen men failed at killing you. Check out those men (and a lady) who were impervious to death in 7 Historical Figures Who Were Absurdly Hard To Kill (http://www.cracked.com/article_16822_7-historical-figures-who-were-absurdly-hard-kill.html). Or check out the badasses who opted to just spit in Death's face, in The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered (http://www.cracked.com/article_16354_11-most-badass-last-words-ever-uttered.html).

Edgar Erebus
02-21-2009, 06:15 PM
If they weren't out getting medals they'd be inside a cage with Lecter mask over their faces, mind my words.

Uncle Steezo
02-21-2009, 07:43 PM
^^^^
i wish the war in serbia was going on right now.


personally i think #5 got shafted on your list.
white death is on some vigilante punisher shit.

Masta Chilla
02-21-2009, 09:11 PM
nice reading... lol @ these crazy motherfuckers... fuck james bond... this shit is real

ALCATRAZ
02-21-2009, 09:23 PM
bump this thread real nigga foundations

Ninja
02-21-2009, 09:51 PM
http://members.yline.com/~r.heider/arnold/bilder/Predator_gr.jpg

ARNIE WILL TAKE ALL OF 'EM ON!!!

tajeco
02-22-2009, 12:08 AM
Well put together. I'm related to John Pershing.

002
02-22-2009, 07:35 AM
This is the first thread I've read in its entirety since Jasper's prostitutes thread 2 years ago.

Uncle Steezo
02-22-2009, 07:48 AM
if you follow the eyeball in 002's sig your cursor arrow spells "nigger."

begongo
02-22-2009, 07:53 AM
dope thread

I think the finnish white boy was the craziest because of the death count, respect

SHRAP
02-22-2009, 07:58 AM
Leo Major

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Jump to: navigation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#column-one), search (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#searchInput)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Acap.svg/36px-Acap.svg.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Acap.svg)
This article may require copy-editing (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:How_to_copy-edit) for grammar, style, cohesion, tone or spelling. You can assist by editing it (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leo_Major&action=edit) now. A how-to guide (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:How_to_copy-edit) is available. (December 2008)Private Léo Major (1921 - 12 October 2008) was a soldier from Montreal in the Régiment de la Chaudière in World War II (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II). He was one of only three Canadian soldiers in the British Commonwealth to be awarded the Distinguished Conduct Medal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distinguished_Conduct_Medal), the only Canadian to have been awarded the honour twice (Bar to the DCM), and the only allied soldier to be awarded two DCMs in two different wars (WWII and Korea).
On the night of 13 April 1945, Major single-handedly liberated the city of Zwolle in The Netherlands from German army occuption. This action earned him his first Distinguished Conduct Medal.
Major received his second DCM during the Korean War, for leading the capture of a key hill.
He died in Montreal on October 12, 2008, survived by Pauline De Croiselle - his wife of 57 years, four children, and five grandchildren.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#cite_note-0)
Contents

[hide (javascript:toggleToc())]
<LI class=toclevel-1>1 The Allied landings in France (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#The_Allied_landings_in_France) <LI class=toclevel-1>2 Holland Summer 1944 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#Holland_Summer_1944) <LI class=toclevel-2>2.1 Battle of the Scheldt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#Battle_of_the_Scheldt)
2.2 The first DCM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#The_first_DCM)<LI class=toclevel-1>3 The Korean War and his second DCM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#The_Korean_War_and_his_second_DCM) <LI class=toclevel-1>4 See also (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#See_also)
5 References (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Major#References)
[edit (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leo_Major&action=edit&section=1)] The Allied landings in France

On D-Day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D-Day) during a reconnaissance, he captured alone a German Armored Vehicle (a Hanomag (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanomag)). The vehicle was full of German communication equipment (along with secret German Army codes).
Days later, during his first encounter with an SS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS) Patrol he killed four soldiers, however one of them managed to ignite a phosphorus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosphorus) grenade (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grenade).
After the grenade burst, Leo lost an eye. The medical doctor told Leo "My friend the war is over for you. You are going back to England." Astoundingly Leo replied defiantly "No Way! Sorry, but I have a war to finish.". He refused to be evacuated.
He was a scout and a sniper and insisted that he needed only one eye to sight his weapon. According to Leo, "I looked like a pirate".

[edit (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leo_Major&action=edit&section=2)] Holland Summer 1944


[edit (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leo_Major&action=edit&section=3)] Battle of the Scheldt

Leo single-handedly captured 93 German soldiers during The Battle of the Scheldt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battle_of_the_Scheldt) in southern Holland (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holland). During a Reconnaissance, whilst alone, he spotted two German soldiers walking along a dike (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dike_(construction)). It was raining and it was cold. Leo said to himself "I am frozen and wet because of you so you will pay." So he captured the first one and used him as bait to capture the second one. The second one tried to use his gun but seconds later he was dead. Leo captured their commanding officer and forced him to surrender. The German garrison surrendered themselves (after three more were shot dead by Leo). In a nearby village, SS troops who witnessed German soldiers being escorted by a Canadian soldier shot at their own soldiers, injuring a few and killing seven. Leo disregarded the enemy fire and kept escorting his prisoners to the Canadian front line. A Canadian tank passing by was ordered by Leo to fire at the SS troops.
Leo marched back to camp with nearly a hundred prisoners. For this event he was chosen to receive a DCM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DCM). He declined the invitation to be decorated however, because according to him General Montgomery (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery,_1st_Viscount_Montgomery_of_Ala mein) (who was giving the award) was "incompetent" and in no position to be giving out medals.

[edit (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leo_Major&action=edit&section=4)] The first DCM

In February 1945, Leo was helping the padre (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Padre) loading the corpses from a destroyed Tiger Tank (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Tank) into a Bren Carrier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bren_Carrier). After they finished loading the dead bodies, the padre and the driver seated themselves in the front whilst Leo jumped on the back of the vehicle.
The carrier took off, but didn't go very far as it had struck a tank mine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_Mine). Leo remembered a loud blast followed by his body being thrown into the air and smashing down hard as he landed on his back.
He lost consciousness and awoke after two concerned Medical officers asked him "Are you OK?" He simply replied "Is the padre all right?" They didn't answer, but loaded him on a stretcher and onto a truck for a very bumpy ride to a field hospital 30 miles away, stopping every 15 minutes to inject morphine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morphine) to remove the pain from his back.
The Doctor was not encouraging as they told him that his back was broken in three places, with four broken ribs and both ankles broken.
Again they told Leo that the war was over for him. They didn't know Leo because he let them take care of him for a week while he contrived a way to escape from the hospital.
A week went by and Leo had the opportunity to flee. He managed to get a ride from a passing jeep that drove him to Nijmegen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nijmegen), where he had previously met a family there.
His stay with the family was close to a month. Leo went back to his unit in March 1945. In the beginning of April, the Régiment de la Chaudière were approaching the city of Zwolle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zwolle) , which presented strong German resistance.
The Commanding Officer asked for two volunteers to recon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reconnaissance) the German force before the artillery began firing at the city. Léo and his good friend, Willie Arseneault, stepped forward to accept the task. They knew that there was big risk during this mission, but accepted it none-the-less. Leo and Willie, not wanting this beautiful city destroyed, decided to try to capture the city of Zwolle alone, though they were only supposed to recon the German numbers, and attempt contact with the Dutch Resistance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Resistance).
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/3d/Certificat2.jpg/100px-Certificat2.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Certificat2.jpg) http://en.wikipedia.org/skins-1.5/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Certificat2.jpg)



Around midnight Willie was killed by German fire; he made just enough noise to make the Germans open fire, giving away their position. Enraged, Leo killed two of the Germans, but the rest of the group fled in a vehicle.
He decided, more than ever, to continue his mission alone, and to avenge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avenge) his fallen comrade. He entered Zwolle near Sassenport and came upon a staff car. Leaping out of the shadows, he captured the German driver, and led him to a bar where an officer was taking a drink. Inside he found that they could both speak French (the officer was from Alsace), and Leo told him that at 6 am the Canadian Artillery will begin firing at the city causing many casualties among the German troops and especially among the civilian. I do not want that to happen to this beautiful city so the Germans have to pack their things and leave – he even gave the German his gun back.
He then proceeded to run throughout the city firing his machine gun, attacking and capturing German troops (about 10 times during the night he captured groups of 8 to 10 German soldiers, escorted them out of the city and giving them to the French-Canadian troops that were waiting in Zwolle vicinity. After giving his prisoners he returned to Zwolle to continue his mission) throwing grenades and making so much noise that he fooled the Germans into thinking that the Canadian army really had surrounded them and was entering the city. Four times during the night he had to force his way into several houses to get some rest. That night he located the Gestapo HQ. He set the building on fire. Later stumbling upon the SS HQ, he got into a quick but deadly fight with eight ranking Nazi officers – four were killed, and the other half fled. He noticed that two of the SS he just killed were disguised as resistance members. The Zwolle resistance had been (or were going to be) infiltrated by the Nazis. By then, at 4:30 a.m. an exhausted Leo found out that the Germans had retreated.
Zwolle had been liberated, and the Resistance contacted. Walking in the street he met four members of Dutch Resistance. He asked them if they speak French or English. None spoke those languages but they brought him a woman that was an English teacher in Zwolle. Léo told the woman to inform the Resistance people that Zwolle was now free of Germans. The Resistance people took off in a hurry to tell the good news to whoever was awake at this hour. By the early morning hours, Léo’s task inside the city of Zwolle was almost completed; he now knew that the Germans had fled to the west of the River IJssel and perhaps more importantly, that the planned shelling of the city should be called off and that his Régiment de la Chaudière could enter the city unopposed that very morning.
Leo then set about collecting his dead friend, Willie, and took him back to the Van Gerner farm until regimental reinforcements could carry him away. He was back at camp by 9 am. For his actions, Leo received the Distinguished Conduct Medal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distinguished_Conduct_Medal).

[edit (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leo_Major&action=edit&section=5)] The Korean War and his second DCM

Leo Major fought in the Korean War (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_War), where he won another Distinguished Conduct Medal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distinguished_Conduct_Medal) for capturing and holding a key hill (hill 355).
This position was in the hands of the Third US Infantry Division (a Division is around 10,000 men) when the 64th Chinese Army (around 40,000 men) made a decisive artillery barrage.
Over the course of two days, the Americans were pushed back by elements of the Chinese 190th and 191st divisions. The Americans retreated, leaving everything behind (food, weapons, vehicles, etc).
They tried to recapture the hill, but without any success, and the Chinese had moved to the nearby Hill 227, practically surrounding the US forces. In order to relieve pressure, General Dextraze brought up an elite scout and sniper team led by Leo Major. Wielding sten guns, Leo and his men silently crept up the hill, surrounded by Chinese. At a signal, Leo's men opened fire, panicking the Chinese who were trying to understand why the firing was coming from the center of their troops instead from the outside. By 12:45 am they had retaken the hill.
However, an hour later two Chinese divisions (the 190 and the 191 around 14,000 men) counter-attacked. Leo was ordered to retreat, but refused and found scant cover for his men. There he held the enemy off throughout the night, though they were so close to him that Leo's own mortars were practically raining down on him.
For three days, Leo's men held off multiple Chinese counter-assaults, until reinforcements arrived. For his actions, Leo was awarded the Bar to the Distinguished Service Medal. Amazingly, twenty French Canadians successfully resisted the assault of 2 Chinese Divisions while an entire American Division had been forced to retreat.

TSA
02-22-2009, 11:45 AM
dope.

Theodore Roosevelt should be up here.


as well as my boy James, we call him Mahoney, and due to his epic return were we've enjoyed a debauched roller coaster and trashy women booze and party hopping earned the nickname The New Gumby.



A guy was robbing a party that he was at, and he started beating the shit out of the guy, then took his gun and beat his ass with it.

he makes PB and J with an army knief


he got blown up in Iraq

Just last night he beat the shit out of 2 dudes ut i missed it

ALCATRAZ
02-22-2009, 01:47 PM
I think the finnish white boy was the craziest because of the death count, respect



you obviously missed the entire point of this thread

The Hound
02-22-2009, 01:50 PM
pffft

none of them would survive BRIDGEPORT, CT

SHRAP
02-22-2009, 03:54 PM
pffft

none of them would survive BRIDGEPORT, CT


in connecticut mothafuckas be Connectin slugs to your neck to Cut your head off

begongo
02-22-2009, 05:05 PM
you obviously missed the entire point of this threadand when did you realize you were a homosexual?

L~>1<~NKS
02-22-2009, 06:19 PM
Your not getting paid for this

so why do it?

ALCATRAZ
02-22-2009, 06:38 PM
and when did you realize you were a homosexual?
^furious