View Full Version : 100 Things That Have Kept Me Sane

Unicron the Agitator
09-10-2005, 11:22 PM
The 100 Things That Have Kept Me Sane

1. Wu-Tang Clan music (They ain’t nothing’ to f*ck wit, dunn!)

2. My Best Friend Jay (Not only is he one of the funniest guys in the world, his life might actually be WORSE than mine!)

3. The Transformers: The Movie (The best 86 minute diversion ever.)

4. Masturbation (Moving on…)

5. X-Play (You know what, I heart Morgan Webb, too.)

6. Wildwood, NJ (Who needs Disney? Aside from the syringes washing up on shore, this could be the best beach resort location on the east coast) [Just kidding about the syringes. Mostly…]

7. Best Buy (Toys R Us for the 18-34 demographic.)

8. Anne Hathaway (I keep telling myself it’s not an obsession, not an obsession…)

9. Marvel Comic Books (Okay, X-Men in particular, but really, what other book was worth reading?)

10. Anne Hathaway (Not an obsession…)

11. DC Comics Cartoons (Superman a badass??? That alone is worth the price of admission.)

12. Sprite soft drink (The Ultimate Un-Cola.)

13. Kevin Smith films (Snootch to the nootch!!!)

14. Quentin Tarintino flicks (Did I stutter, muthaf*cker?!)

15. Cool Ranch Doritos (And no, I’m NOT a stoner!)

16. Pathmark Fruit Punch (More addictive than you can possibly imagine…)

17. Robotech Sci-Fi novels (Embrace your inner-geek.)

18. My old illegal cable box (Pay-Per View? Yeah, right…)

19. Chapelle’s Show (Four words: I’m Rick James, Bitch!)

20. $5 DVD bins (The easiest way to expand your home movie collection.)

21. Women’s Physique World (It’s a fetish of mine…)

22. Star Wars: Clone Wars (Saved the franchise and re-awakened the Star Wars geek that had been slumbering inside.)

23. The 1987/88 LA Lakers (LA all the way, baby!!!)

24. Nobody Beats the Wiz (I cleaned up on those $.99 singles…)

25. Monica Keena (The only real reason to have ever watched Dawson’s Creek. She played Abby, by the way.)

26. Globe Shoes (Size 15 anyone?)

27. Burlington Coat Factory (Had one of the best Fat Dude sections ever.)

28. $.99 Double Cheese Burgers from McDonalds (Most likely the reason for number 27...)

29. My DVD Burner (50 bucks for the complete first season of Buffy? Not today, pal!)

30. Dragon Ball Z (What’s YOUR power level?)

31. The Internet (See number 4...)

32. Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai are cool…)

33. Catholic School Uniforms (You have no idea what a pleated skirt and tight sweater does to a brother…)

34. Nintendo Game Systems (Myomoto, you are a genius.)

35. My Mom’s sky-blue 1989 Dodge Spirit (Got me wherever I needed to go.)

36. The Bootleg Man (15 bucks for a Jay-Z CD? Whatever…)

37. Vida Guerra’s Ass (My eyes have seen the glory…)

38. WWF wrestling (Get the “f” out? Nah, dude, bring it back!)

39. My old 3 Zone Bus pass (The entire northeastern New Jersey was my oyster…)

40. Bloomfield College (The answer to where all the ex-hippies have gone.)

41. Godzilla movies (What’s not to love about a guy who puts on a 200 pound suit and wrestles a giant shrimp under ten feet of water?)

42. Plastic Army Men (Because G.I. Joe figures were just too expensive!)

43. Dawn Treader Christian School (You don’t want to attend public school in Paterson, NJ. Trust me, I work there…)

44. Wal-Mart (so I like low prices and high volume. Does that make me a bad guy?)

45. Green Day’s “Dookie” album (Really, I’m no stoner..!)

46. On-Line shopping (Gotta love the anonymity…)

47. Chinese restaurants (You can’t imagine how much food you can get for two-fifty!)

48. Victoria Secret Catalogues (Don’t reach puberty without them.)

49. Three’s Company (Joyce DeWitt, man I ain’t never seen an ass like that…!)

50. Gladiator (Are you not entertained?!)

51. Kung-Fu Flicks (Avenging dead masters since the early seventies…)

52. Heathers (Teenage suicide: Don’t Do It!)

53. Chris Columbus movies (Ahh, to be young and in Sherma, Illinois…)

54. Hip-Hop in 1995 (Truly, the Golden Era of the genre)

55. Bill Clinton’s Presidency (Gas under a buck a gallon? Seems like an eternity ago…)

56. The U.S. Open Tennis Tournament (Where old men refuse to let go of the past…)

57. The Box Music Channel (Banned from MTV? Who cares!)

58. The Real World/Road Rules Challenge (Hey, I like lesbians, too!)

59. The Fabian Movie Theatre in Paterson, NJ (Two Movies for five bucks?! Who gives a fig about the sticky floors and the stale popcorn?)

60. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Novels or Movies, take your pick. Geeks 4 Life!)

61. Married With Children (A show that was smarter than you think…)

62. The 99 Cent Store (So much, for just so little…)

63. 21 Jumpstreet reruns (Honestly, I’ve never even had a chance to inhale…)

64. En Vogue Music Videos (Hold On? I’ll hold on, alright…)

65. Direct Deposit (I’d really go crazy if I actually cashed my paycheck…)

66. Rose McGowan (Every woman should be raised in a bizarre Italian sex cult…)

67. ECW Wrestling (You know, for a moment there, I actually thought it was real…)

68. The 1994 and 1999 New York Knicks (Hey, sometimes the underdogs ALMOST get to the top…)

69. Wu-Tang Corp Internet Forums (I feel like a genius every time I log on…)

70. Multi-Cultural Holidays (Hey, extra days off of work!)

71. House Party’s 1 and 3 (Chris Columbus comes to da hood!)

72. Red Lobster (For the seafood lover in you.)

73. The 1996-2000 New York Yankees (I gotcha Boston Red Sox right here!)

74. In Living Color (Damon Waynes, David Allen Greer and J. Lo before she started dating white guys? Who could ask for anything more!)

75. Penny Loafers stuffed with dimes (Who’s the geek, now? I’m straight ballin’, bitch!!!)

76. Star and Buc Wild in the Morning (Embrace the hate, people!)

77. The 2001-2004 New Jersey Nets (Single handedly saved New York Metro area basketball.)

78. Fight Club (The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about fight club. The second rule…)

79. Beavis & Butt-Head (Frog Baseball!!!!!!)

80. My Mom’s cooking (Moms can burn, yo.)

81. Sin City (At last, a real template for how to make movies out of comic books!)

82. The Simpson’s (Practically put Fox on the map.)

83. Taco Bell (A guy can only east $.99 double cheeseburgers for so long…)

84. Bill Cooper’s Behold a Pale Horse (Ohhh, so that’s how Bush got elected twice…)

85. The X-Files (Even with the T-1000 in the mix, the truth was still out there…)

86. The George Forman Grill (You’d be amazed at the things you can make on that thing.)

87. Raekwon’s Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… (May be the best hip-hop album ever produced.)

88. On Demand! from digital cable (A guy can take only so much Reality TV)

89. Supermarket Coin Star machines (Got pennies? Not a problem.)

90. My Co-Workers at P.S. #13 (That school was a jungle!)

91. The lousy taste of alcohol (I’m an eighth Choctaw Indian. Firewater bad!!!)

92. Japanese Import Video Games (You know, Japanese people are kinda weird…)

93. South Park (Respect my authori-tay!!!)

94. My Creative MuVo MP3 Player (F*ck an iPod!)

95. My Cousin Rob’s Comic Book Collection (An inspiration for my life.)

96. Police Academy Movies (I never get tired of that Blue Oyster gag!)

97. 80’s Music (The Soundtrack for my life.)

98. Ramen Noodles (Quite possibly the cheapest meal on the planet.)

99. The NWO (The only reason to have watched WCW Wrestling. Sorry Nitro Girls…)

100. The X-Men Legends video game franchise (Finally, I can live out my life-long dream of being an oppressed minority fighting for a world that hates and fears me! Oh, wait…I’m black. Never mind…)

Queen Of Poetry
09-10-2005, 11:25 PM
LOL.......funny shit!!!!!!

U live in Jersey?

Unicron the Agitator
09-10-2005, 11:30 PM
Yeah. Born and raised in Paterson.

Queen Of Poetry
09-10-2005, 11:33 PM
Ok.....I'm born and raised in Atlantic City.

09-10-2005, 11:35 PM
Unicrons Gonna Smash It

Queen Of Poetry
09-10-2005, 11:41 PM
Unicrons Gonna Smash It

Damn.....why? B/c he's male and I'm female and we live in the same state.......come on now......just friendly talk.....get ur mind out the gutter!!!!!!!!

09-10-2005, 11:49 PM
Im Gonna Smash It

Unicron the Agitator
09-10-2005, 11:59 PM
I probably couldn't smash it if I tried. Seriously, I respect Queen too much to dignify that.

09-11-2005, 12:00 AM

Sicka than aidZ
09-11-2005, 12:02 AM
you jerk it in front of the computer too!!...fuck, i think im gonna quit, your a loser, peace

Sicka than aidZ
09-11-2005, 12:04 AM
its a joke, u must be mad bored....i dnt know man, i dont care what keeps ya sane. ill go now. 1

Unicron the Agitator
09-11-2005, 12:09 AM
It's all good.

09-11-2005, 01:16 AM
I thought I was the only Morgan Webb fan on the planet

09-11-2005, 11:23 AM
House partyyyyyy ahhhhhhh thats the best movie eva lol part 1 wif pops "Cops aint have no trouble findin u, follow the drip, follow the drip............ Whats ya name boi?........achar.........Achar eh? sounds like some shit ya catch on ya feet.

09-11-2005, 04:20 PM
Married with children is the man.

09-11-2005, 04:29 PM
Married with children is the man.

09-11-2005, 04:46 PM
I liked that one girl Bud had.

09-11-2005, 04:47 PM
The 9-year old with the pony-tails?

Shaolin Warrior
09-11-2005, 05:22 PM
Good to hear you're keeping yourself sane, my fellow Transformers fan.

09-11-2005, 07:07 PM
ya Married With Children is the shiat.

Queen Of Poetry
09-12-2005, 08:26 AM
I probably couldn't smash it if I tried. Seriously, I respect Queen too much to dignify that.

LOL......aaww......now that's a man!!!!!!!!!


09-12-2005, 10:10 AM
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