Slothy Fitzpatrick
04-20-2009, 01:06 PM
Dear Wucorp infidels,
I regret to inform you that my dear friend and disciple Robert Lorenzo Sanzogni has perished in an incident that can only be described as bizarre and disturbing.
Keep in mind, before reading the following, that the young man had been taking heroic doses of LSD for the past couple of months. This may explain his erratic behaviour on the site. I felt he was losing touch with reality. For one, he had begun wearing sweaters with glitter on them.
It is probable that he was intoxicated in the hours prior to his demise.
Robert was horrifically injured during a marathon masturbation session.
It is suspected he was busting GEE OHH DEE loads to pictures of chunky Columbian women with dimples.
The autopsy suggested that when he busted his fifth load of the session, a large amount ejaculate entered his mouth, a consequence of him being upside down.
He choked to death on his own semen.
The belt fastened around his neck may have contributed to his eventual demise.
This is the official definition of a "hot mess".
There are only four documented cases of this happening in modern times, all of which occurred in Nebraskah.
This is certainly a tragic first for the Oceania region.
I know that Robert was a dedicated member of the 1%, and a General Chat regular. He was a dear friend and taught me a lot. Actually, on reflection, I taught him a lot.
I felt it was important to let the Wucorp masses know of this horrendous incident so you can mourn this massive loss and copy and paste his finest moments onto your personal computers.
That's the way young Robby would have wanted it.
Yours,
Slothy Fitzpatrick,
The bringer of bad news.
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m29/UmpireRandall/2646_61370286315_706101315_2029128_.jpg
I regret to inform you that my dear friend and disciple Robert Lorenzo Sanzogni has perished in an incident that can only be described as bizarre and disturbing.
Keep in mind, before reading the following, that the young man had been taking heroic doses of LSD for the past couple of months. This may explain his erratic behaviour on the site. I felt he was losing touch with reality. For one, he had begun wearing sweaters with glitter on them.
It is probable that he was intoxicated in the hours prior to his demise.
Robert was horrifically injured during a marathon masturbation session.
It is suspected he was busting GEE OHH DEE loads to pictures of chunky Columbian women with dimples.
The autopsy suggested that when he busted his fifth load of the session, a large amount ejaculate entered his mouth, a consequence of him being upside down.
He choked to death on his own semen.
The belt fastened around his neck may have contributed to his eventual demise.
This is the official definition of a "hot mess".
There are only four documented cases of this happening in modern times, all of which occurred in Nebraskah.
This is certainly a tragic first for the Oceania region.
I know that Robert was a dedicated member of the 1%, and a General Chat regular. He was a dear friend and taught me a lot. Actually, on reflection, I taught him a lot.
I felt it was important to let the Wucorp masses know of this horrendous incident so you can mourn this massive loss and copy and paste his finest moments onto your personal computers.
That's the way young Robby would have wanted it.
Yours,
Slothy Fitzpatrick,
The bringer of bad news.
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m29/UmpireRandall/2646_61370286315_706101315_2029128_.jpg