View Full Version : Check this out.

Critical Damage
05-09-2009, 01:15 AM
Dunno why but yesterday I thought much 'bout zombies, even decided to wright dis
And, I guess the begining doesn't matches the other parts, whatchu think?

Yo ho ho, it's a Z-Day dude!
Everyone seems scared, whatchugonna do?
Put ur fuckin' tight-ass jeans and RUN?!
Nah, dat's not fo me.Shoe me a zombie - I'll show him my gun!
These are the last dayz, right? Let's count
How much gonna survive?One?Two?None?
Fuck dat, I ain't no professor with my shotgun
Or maybe another tactic, with Mac11, hit 'n' run?
I even dunno.Situation is fucked-up
Sittin' here with two friends, ammo and gunz
OK, we've got the plan, Mac11 and Mac10
Now "GO GO GO!" down to the first floor
4 deadz - 4 shots, the path is clear, let's move
The sun is rising, soon it's gonna be bright, cool
Street seems clear - just luck...One by one
Three of us moving, holdin' gun...
Target is police station, 200 metres ahead
Hope - find anyone ain't yet dead...
"To the right!" I scream, POW POW
Friend thanks me, one zombie is gone
We are near the station, good luck...
"Cover me I'm going in"...BUCK!BUCK!BUCK!
2 more deadz...The hole place looks empty
Some hours here - and go, out time can't be counted as "Plenty"...

OK, new gunz, new ammo, new hope
We've heard a transmition on the radio - from the airport
Thank God I've found a police car
The fuel is low, we won't get too far...
Lock'n'load, let's roll, everyone's ready
All of us scared, holdin' weapons steady
In mind there are tons of thoughts
Wu-Tang, ONYX, Mobb Deep - the best music is lost...
No new shows, no new films, nothing
Shit, a zombie ahead! But fuck him...
I see lot's of dead bodiez, many women and children
Too bad I ain't killed, to tell 'em what am I feelin'
My parents and friends in ma mind
I even dunno, how we gonna survive
There are the gates to tha airport!
We can even heat shots, someone still alive!
'Bout zombiez near the enterance - God help us...
Car flips up - than down...moment to die.
I can see millitary shootin' deadz, crushin' 'em to dust
No need.We are done hear...and we aren't the last.

05-09-2009, 03:18 PM
this was pretty good, although i think it would've worked better as an audio-drop. still, it isn't horrible, and definitely had good moments. i think you should work on making it a bit more complex as far as rhyme scheme and shit like that. stay up, though, and welcome to the site.

05-10-2009, 01:34 AM
flow was alil choppy i think.

Critical Damage
05-12-2009, 03:15 AM
Thanks for straight opinions with advices, I respect this
And one more thing - I'm from Moscow, so sorry for mistakes or something, it's a bit hard for me yet