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Mumm Ra
07-12-2009, 05:01 AM
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
this shit is fucking hilarious lmao

(303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.(610): So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better(205): we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
(610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.dead

J-Cee
07-12-2009, 06:01 AM
lmao..some funny shit in there.

Visionz
07-12-2009, 07:14 AM
u c this one ?

(859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.

:lmao:

SKAMPOE
07-12-2009, 10:27 AM
clik clakitty clak clik and a looooooong snif
text ripped from tissa's cable ready cellfon

drippie k
07-12-2009, 05:10 PM
(630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

(765): laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
perfect pick-up line

(631): Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

(502): I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.


i wonder how they get these? people submit them?

drippie k
07-12-2009, 05:16 PM
(440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
(1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag hahahaha

(720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
(920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.

(631): I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

(610): I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

(410): guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

k i'll stop, its justr fucking funny

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-12-2009, 05:30 PM
(610): he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.

(731): Maybe she gives good head
(615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head


(802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

lmfao!

rep for the find lucid...i mean mumm ra lol

Mumm Ra
07-12-2009, 05:33 PM
haha word thanks
that last one is a good one

Mumm Ra
07-12-2009, 05:39 PM
(720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
(920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i lol'd
(502): so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
rofl I could quote damn near every entry on that goddamn site....

Shadowthrone
07-13-2009, 01:31 PM
http://www.lamebook.com/

http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/

BLACK BART SIMPSON
07-13-2009, 02:51 PM
(651): theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
(651): nevermind its newpaper

402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

NIKLZ
07-13-2009, 03:01 PM
7

BLACK BART SIMPSON
07-13-2009, 03:16 PM
this shit is hilarious gotta read da rest lata

Mumm Ra
07-13-2009, 07:07 PM
hah Web Soup is on G4 channel right now and they showcased this TFLN website

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-13-2009, 07:19 PM
funniest site on the web

Blackula Spectacula
07-13-2009, 07:23 PM
(604): Do you have a shampoo for semen
(604): Or a time machine

Hah!

Tage
07-13-2009, 07:27 PM
(502): I lined up everyone's pillows and i'm playing evel knievel when i jerk off later.




aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mumm Ra
07-13-2009, 07:29 PM
(562): Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
lol I actually want one
he looked at my vagina like it was a Rubix Cube

Blackula Spectacula
07-13-2009, 07:32 PM
lol I actually want one

I'm sure there already is one ... in Japan there is a toilet that measures how much vitamins and nutrients you have in your urine .. it also tells you what you need more of and shit like that.

EAGLE EYE
07-13-2009, 07:38 PM
In America they sell Turkey Basters with digital LCD's giving you a proper read-out of how much spermicide is required to get a thick Colombian women artificially inseminated

Blackula Spectacula
07-13-2009, 07:40 PM
Hahahaha fuck you bobby.

EAGLE EYE
07-13-2009, 07:43 PM
Im a fucking lyrical postsmith

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-13-2009, 07:56 PM
I'm sure there already is one ... in Japan there is a toilet that measures how much vitamins and nutrients you have in your urine .. it also tells you what you need more of and shit like that.

i saw this...it needs to be reconfigured to run home drug and pregnancy tests

Blackula Spectacula
07-13-2009, 07:57 PM
i saw this...it needs to be reconfigured to run home drug and pregnancy tests

apparently it can tell you that too .. theres a computer on the side of the wall it tells you if you have infections and shit, its pretty sophisticated.

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-13-2009, 08:03 PM
oh, well then it will go down as one of the most sophisticated and useful pieces of technology in the 21st century, while twitter is relegated to hula hoop status.

Blackula Spectacula
07-13-2009, 08:09 PM
i've yet to join twitter. I refuse to.

Olive Oil Goombah
07-13-2009, 08:17 PM
twitter is ridiculous.

its facebook gone absolutely mad....

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-13-2009, 08:26 PM
^^^agreed

but really it's a logical progression of this self-absorbed, digitally assisted, masturbatory, communication without substance era

Dr. Simon Hurt
07-13-2009, 08:29 PM
and yes i'm aware that posting on a message board is also part of that

Mumm Ra
07-13-2009, 08:48 PM
I'm sure there already is one ... in Japan there is a toilet that measures how much vitamins and nutrients you have in your urine .. it also tells you what you need more of and shit like that.
yeah Japan has all sorts of crazy urine and feces disposal technology
I think I remember seeing on TV some clubs have games built in to their urinals

I'm jealous.

EAGLE EYE
07-13-2009, 09:36 PM
i've yet to join twitter. I refuse to.



commmme on baby we're all doin' it.


Lets us wucorp brethern commence and hold hands while we tweet in your mouth like tis a bird bath

SKAMPOE
07-13-2009, 09:47 PM
http://blogs.bet.com/betj/underdog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/tweet.jpgtweet?

Blackula Spectacula
07-13-2009, 10:13 PM
hahahahaha @ skampoe

EAGLE EYE
07-13-2009, 10:13 PM
What do you think Blackula smells like by this point in time?


Aged Bleu Cheese?

or

A puddle of coffee brandy that got queefed on.

Huggasaurus Sex
07-14-2009, 12:03 AM
chopped meat and semen

Uncle Steezo
07-14-2009, 12:13 AM
i'd eat Esko's pussy from the back just to smell her sweet asshole.

Huggasaurus Sex
07-14-2009, 12:19 AM
i'd eat it from the front so i can smell the lint and skin cheese from her belly folds

SKAMPOE
07-14-2009, 06:15 AM
What do you think Blackula smells like by this point in time?


Aged Bleu Cheese?

or

A puddle of coffee brandy that got queefed on.
hhahahahaha she smells of sweet sweet pheromones...
i'd eat Esko's pussy from the back just to smell her sweet asshole.
lol co sign, thats the best!