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View Full Version : Slaughterhouse album review Pitchforkmedia (5.5/10)


tical2000
08-25-2009, 04:50 PM
This is probably the best and most accurate review I have read of the medicore Slaughterhouse album from Pitchforkmedia who gave it 5.5/10

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/13373-slaughterhouse/


Slaughterhouse are adorable. Clearly, this was not their intent. If you've spent any time in the last two years braving the sort of internet scuttlebutt that makes it feel like talking about rap is a full-time job, you know Slaughterhouse is what the game's been missing in 2009, a hyper-masculine corrective to a hip-hop scene that had grown disgustingly soft. But really, there's something nerdy and cute about the treehouse conspiratorial vibe of four rappers (Crooked I, Joell Ortiz, Royce Da 5'9", and Joe Budden), united by little more than a history of label politricks and a love of bareknuckle rhyming, joining forces to commit the sort of industry shakedown none could achieve on their own. You gotta wonder if Freddie Foxxx is more pissed than he usually is for not getting a call.

But the excitement is understandable-- in case you haven't noticed, everyone's hopping on the idea that there's a 90s revival underway, and in theory, Slaughterhouse provides a missing link to the awe-inspiring posse tracks of the mid-Clinton years-- songs like "Banned From TV", "Verbal Intercourse", "John Blaze"-- except that the whole album would be like that! But as anyone who's cheered for a squad GM'd by Isiah Thomas, listened to a Dylan/Dead record, or paid $12 to see He's Just Not That Into You knows damn well, the fantasy approach to franchise-building has a staggering failure rate. The best rap groups are borne of collaboration and chemistry from complementary parts, but Slaughterhouse is less duel of the iron mic and more Pro Bowl talented performers caught up in a listless walk-through with no real competitive incentive and no indication that they spent any time beforehand in the same room planning things out.

Granted, each of these guys can bring the pain on whatever track they're on, but that's pretty much the entire problem here-- all four essentially serve the same purpose, blunting each other's effectiveness and magnifying the sort of problems that always arise when a rapper can put together a hot verse but not a decent album. For all of its Jack White "realness" shtick, Slaughterhouse still has commercial aspirations but absolutely nothing resembling pop instincts.
The only way you could put together a supergroup in 2009 with a worse ear for beats would involve getting Jadakiss, Nas, Foxy Brown, and Marlee Matlin in the booth. Befitting a bunch of guys who've orbited Shady/Aftermath in various degrees, Slaughterhouse's beats are towering, but in a way that's monolithic, charmless, and corporate, like a gleaming office building. Take "Bad Boy 4 Life"-on-a-budget faux-banger "The One", inexplicably the first single. DJ Khalil's geetar-stuffed beat is so intrusive and annoying, you have to wonder why he doesn't change his named to "Khaled," and even if it had a remote shot getting anywhere near a club's playlist, a tone deaf hook from the New Royales throws it out on its ass. "Not Tonight" provides the walking music for a whole museum of Hov MC'ers, but only ends up reminding you of mid-decade Roc-A-Fella songs that you'd rather be listening to instead ("Roc Boys", "Roc the Mic", "Encore", Freeway's "Still Got Love"). "Cuckoo" takes a stab at pill-poppin', limb-choppin' horrorcore and suggests that they got greedy while ghostwriting for Detox and tried to get a drop on Relapse. There's a song with Fatman Scoop. Seriously.

To their credit, "Sound Off" and "Salute" are the sort of no-frills beatdown rap that would score a 3 mic rating in The Source circa 1998 and if grokking syllables serves as your sole criteria of an MC's worth, Slaughterhouse is at least impressive on a surface level-- Crooked I puts in the best performance relative to his public stature and if you sprinkle Royce Da 5'9"s verses over a year's worth of feature spots, you might be as excited about Slaughterhouse as you were in 2008. Hell, even Joe Budden acquits himself nicely enough that you almost feel bad that there are versions of this that exist on the web where he's completely eliminated.

But Slaughterhouse­'s biggest weakness is what brought us here in the first place-- for a record that's supposed to be so lyrically godbody that aspiring rapsters will retreat to a lifetime of Auto-Tune in fear, the lyrics display no real wit or inspirational spark. Punchlines fail and fail often, whether it's cumbersome comestible raps that recall a very lazy DOOM ("so it bleeds to death like the middle of an unfinished burger," "I want me a sloppy ho whose pussy smells like tilapia"-- thanks for sharing, Joell), delightful homophobia ("like your boyfriend's sodomy hole, full of shit"), or broke man's Wale NBA namedrops that make you wonder how the Knicks could fuck up so bad on and off the court and yet still have Anthony Mason be the last guy who got a dope rhyme in his name ("like Nate Robinson, I back up the point").

If it seems like a show of restraint that they wait three minutes to make their first crack about skinny jeans, I don't know what to say about leaving "Cut You Loose" until the 13th track. It's your basic "you can't fire me 'cause I quit" missive to a mainstream acceptance they clearly strive for, and the saddest part is when Crooked I goes at Rick Ross and Jim Jones for taking shots at Eminem in 2009-- it takes me back to reading Guitar World in the mid-90s and suffering through technically proficient assholes like Steve Lukather and Billy Setzer putting Billy Corgan on blast for not staying true to rock'n'roll's roots. It's easy enough to dismiss Slaughterhouse as preaching to the choir (albeit one known to be stingy around the collection plate), or just point out that even the most intense internet test-tubing can't save a wack album (see also: Asher Roth), but it's that impotent defensiveness that ultimately makes you think Dr. Dre might've been right about these guys.

main_man
08-25-2009, 05:35 PM
a hip hop cd reveiw by a guy who read "guitar world" in the 90's. thats fuckin funny.

" now first of all, whos your a&r?
a mountain climber who plays an electric guitar?
but he dont know the meaning of dope
when hes lookin' for a suit & tie rap thats cleaner than a bar of soap"

ALCATRAZ
08-25-2009, 05:52 PM
everyone's a fuckin critic

The Hound
08-25-2009, 05:59 PM
Haha @ "The best and most accurate review" because it's the only review that falls into his belief it's a shit album. Typical Wu stan.

LOL @ Alcatraz, stupid Asian.

Unicron the Agitator
08-25-2009, 06:02 PM
Album's pretty good. Reviewer seems to have a bias. He must have seen "the tape"...

main_man
08-25-2009, 06:18 PM
the reviewer is probably one of those biased rock muhfuckaz who think hip hop "isnt real music" and shits on the artform every chance he gets.

its still funny though. what a whitebread bitch. lol

WuGambino
08-25-2009, 06:29 PM
he made quite a few references to good hip hop from the 90s... people just jumping on the fact he mentioned a guitar magazine... hes pretty much spot on most of the time... the beats are horrible from the tracks ive heard

Ghost In The 'Lac
08-25-2009, 06:31 PM
the reviewer is clearly a fan of slaughterhouse on some level as he keeps complimenting their skills

which trust me alot of reviewers wouldnt be.

and your mad at him for liking more than one genre of music? please.

"so it bleeds to death like the middle of an unfinished burger"

^wow.

this album is kinda like when little brother did minstrel show and all the hype before it was about them criticing the rap scene for being commerialised bullshit, but then people heard the album and realised LB couldnt do any better themselves.

mikeatris
08-25-2009, 06:39 PM
I can't lie I am a Wu fan and my opinions are not biased toward no one when it comes to comparing them. With that being said I got a few SH songs on my Zune. When I first heard it I was like damn this is tight but as the days and weeks passed I have not played it at all. It is an ok album. It is just group albums with 2 or more people does nothing for me in this day in age. They always seem to fail some way or another. I like solo rap songs if I do listen to rap with a few guest appearances. Yeah Only Built had a number of appearances but you have to look at group albums were common in the mid 90's. But in this day of age they all seem to fail, D4L, Destiny's Child, Boyz N Da Hood, Geto Boyz, NWA, EPMD, etc. Someone always had to leave a group to pursue their own career and always had better success than with a group. To me being in a group in this era is a crutch, no 1 takes you seriously, to hard to decipher who is the better MC. Being solo is where it's at. So I have grown outta group albums, I just listen to them in the 90's when it was relevant. But getting back on topic yeah the album has a few cuts on it and they are nice on the mic, but it hits a dry man in the face with water on a hot summer day, cool refreshing for a min, get a towel wipe your face and it is dry again. Good for a couple of initial couple of days but I'm not playing it like that. Maybe the next one will be better though, I do have hope in them.

tical2000
08-25-2009, 06:40 PM
the reviewer is probably one of those biased rock muhfuckaz who think hip hop "isnt real music" and shits on the artform every chance he gets.

its still funny though. what a whitebread bitch. lol

the guy sounds very knowledgebale about hip-hop to me.....

I agree with everything he says.....the beats on the album are mediocre at best

main_man
08-25-2009, 06:49 PM
noones mad at the "reviewer" for liking more than one genre of music. but the fact he closes his review with that analogy just kinda shows you where his mind is at. and it aint in hip hop. and, as we all know, opinions are worthless.

and i think the production was a bit of a surprise, considering they didnt have the budget to hire anyone too famous. i know it sounds good in a system. i'd say the album is a solid 7.5 maybe 8 out of 10.
but if slaughterhouse has done anything, its open up the discussion about the current state of hip hop. for better or worse.

Memory Man
08-25-2009, 07:02 PM
pitchfork doesn't know shit about hiphop.

edit: one example, they gave edan's fumbling over words single ONE star, then raved about beauty and the beat. i can't seem to find the fumbling review on their site now...

main_man
08-25-2009, 07:06 PM
what do you think of the slaughterhouse album, memory man?
if you've heard it yet.

Memory Man
08-25-2009, 07:23 PM
^i thought it was pretty good. i always like crooked i and royce, although i thought royce's stuff sounded a little rushed. beats were mostly decent, def better than 5.5/10

main_man
08-25-2009, 07:29 PM
i know it aint fading your rae mix though. props on all the props you gettin for that, homie.

Bosn
08-25-2009, 07:41 PM
I'm not one to defend pitchfork, especially when it comes to their hip hop reviews (althought they do seem to love ghostface which is good), but I gotta agree that this slaughterhouse album was wack as shit. Nothing about the group or any of the tracks stands out in this day and age. They're a full decade too late coming with this shit.

Sleep on this one.

11th Chamber
08-25-2009, 07:42 PM
pitchfork doesn't know shit about hiphop.

edit: one example, they gave edan's fumbling over words single ONE star, then raved about beauty and the beat. i can't seem to find the fumbling review on their site now...

shit they gave Bobby Digital in Stereo a fucking 2.9/10


But yea I do agree with the reviewer, just an average ass album.

Good vocals by Royce and Crooked, so-so shit by Ortiz, and just a shit outing by Budden(who iv heard do lightyears better on his Mood Muzik mixtapes)

The beats are completely hit or miss

I give the album nothing more than a 2.5/5 or 3/5

Bosn
08-25-2009, 07:48 PM
I can't find their review for Bobby Digital in Stereo? link?

11th Chamber
08-25-2009, 07:53 PM
It used to be in the reviews area on the wikipedia page for the album, dont see it there anymore

seems they took it down for whatever reason

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/6887-bobby-digital-in-stereo/

standout
08-25-2009, 11:35 PM
the album is dope.

your only saying that "this review fits your views" because your a well-known slaughterhouse hater with wu-sperm dripping down your lips



now go reffer to the professional reviews that actually matter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slaughterhouse_(album)

you can find them on the right side.

hehsy5sy5
08-26-2009, 12:02 AM
the album is dope.

your only saying that "this review fits your views" because your a well-known slaughterhouse hater with wu-sperm dripping down your lips



now go reffer to the professional reviews that actually matter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slaughterhouse_(album)

you can find them on the right side.

^represents the mind of the avg (white) slaughterhouse/joebutton stan from jbtv


also you lose cuz the link says:

"Wikipedia does not have an article with this exact name. Please search for Slaughterhouse (album in Wikipedia to check for alternative titles or spellings."

standout
08-26-2009, 12:08 AM
^represents the mind of the avg (white) slaughterhouse/joebutton stan from jbtv


also you lose cuz the link says:

"Wikipedia does not have an article with this exact name. Please search for Slaughterhouse (album in Wikipedia to check for alternative titles or spellings."

oh i linked it wrong. forgot a braket at the end..il fix.

hehsy5sy5
08-26-2009, 12:14 AM
oh i linked it wrong. Forgot a braket at the end..il fix.

lol.

-IrOnBuLL-
08-26-2009, 08:56 AM
damn 11th chamber! they gave "in stereo" a low azz rating like that!?!
the SH album iz below average to me. iz not wack but it aint a good listen either.
4 of those guyz are wat some ppl look up to az "true hip hop artistz" n they
come out wit some weak ass shit like "one" n "cuckoo" n etc?
they are talented artistz. thei could've done way better.
the album along wit joe actin stupid lately iz jus disappointin

and i didnt even buy the album

dug
08-26-2009, 01:03 PM
It seems no one here has ever read pitchfork. They constantly give the most critical and what has seemed to me to be an asshole-ish condescending review of anything they don't like. I've read scathing reviews of every type of rap group or band out there. Maybe the most aggravating thing about this site is that they love the lamest types of music (to me) like electronic. However, I have to say that they do break down records with a no-holds barred attitude that gives an honest, if not a little negative, review.