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View Full Version : I got drunk last night too


Art Vandelay
09-26-2009, 11:42 AM
well since old-ass toochski is telling his drunken exploits from last night, i figured lets continue with senior citizen night and i will tell my story. part 1 is kind of interesting but way too fucking long, so i'll just get to part 2.

so on my way home from the bar, i decide to stop at a local bar before calling it a night. G20 is just rapping up here in the burgh and every cop in a 20 mile radius is more worried about the safety of the world leaders than some drunken drivers. so it's not as risky driving around. so i get to the local bar, and being the smooth talker that i am, (haha) i start chatting it up right away with this chick with some enormous fun bags. (i won't even describe the face...yikes, but who cares about the face at 1am) anyways me and her are fucking hitting it off. she is laughing at everything i say and those big sweater puppets are jiggling around with every laugh. she tells me that she was on a date tonight, alteast that's what she thought it was, but this dummy brought her to this shit hole bar. he was down at the other end of the bar talking to some guy. so after about 10 minutes or so, i guess this guy realizes that i'm moving in on his territory. so he comes over and "pisses" all over her to let me know that boob-girl is his property. he got his arm around her and he's talking real close to her and you could tell she was annoyed by this. but he keeps pissing all over her anyways.

then the guy pulls off the ultimate move. he boxes me the fuck out. this guy dennis rodman's me. she got her bar stool turned facing to the right. this guy puts his left hand on the bar stool and his right hand on the bar. i can't get back in. eventually she gets up, i think to play the juke box or something. we start talking again, and we exchange numbers. she just bought a bar and is opening next month and wanted my number "to invite me to the grand opening" yeah right. you know she wants a nice slab of art vandelay meat between her thighs. she also mentioned she wants to hook me up with her 19 year old friend. it's been a long time since i had a 19 year old.

ok, feel free to make fun of me or say my story is irrelevant and boring.

Chris Cristofori
09-29-2009, 07:12 PM
i fucked a fat chick last night after 5 bottles of cheap wine and managed to get to the fourth finger..no joke! lol

Olive Oil Goombah
09-29-2009, 07:42 PM
u pathetic loser greg...i mean, im still in my 20's so this is expected but your well into your 30's.

But you kno what Sinatra used to say. "who cares about the face? Throw a bag over it and do your business"

MAYOR QUIMBY
09-29-2009, 08:46 PM
^^^ Wrap a flag around her face and do it for your country.

TheBoarzHeadBoy
09-29-2009, 08:52 PM
Respecp

Art Vandelay
09-29-2009, 11:48 PM
u pathetic loser greg...i mean, im still in my 20's so this is expected but your well into your 30's.

But you kno what Sinatra used to say. "who cares about the face? Throw a bag over it and do your business"


toochski, i am definitely not well into my 30s. if my memory is right, i think you are only 1 year younger than me