View Full Version : Punch lines

06-16-2005, 04:13 PM
Yo, so i remember there was a punchline thread b4 the crash. couldnt find any new ones. so basically just share some tight punchlines u can think of from any emcee. Ill start it off.

A tech nine is my utensil
Fillin' niggas with so much led they can use they dick for a pencil

-Big L

06-16-2005, 04:56 PM
wud the ones in my sig be considered as punches?

06-16-2005, 05:05 PM
yeh jus any tight lines

06-16-2005, 05:06 PM
Ill post some soon dont really feel like thinking now

Da Ryda
06-16-2005, 06:22 PM
yeh jus any tight lines not exactly a punchline then is it...

e.g. Deck's verse in Triumph (I hope I don't have to recite it for you to remember) is tight but they ain't no punchline nowhere in it, ya understand now?

06-16-2005, 09:10 PM
tight u understand. good job

06-16-2005, 09:13 PM
i just titled it punchlines cuz the old thread was called punchlines......yet ppl put any lines they thought were dope

T.H.O.M.A.S. Man
06-16-2005, 09:42 PM
well i was at this freestyle battle in providence and this dude was battling someone who must have been like 16 but he was the scrawniest kid ive ever seen. he was like 4 feet tall and mad skinny.

so anyway, the punchline that the guy battling him used was:

"something something that rhymes with -ick,
i cant believe they got me onstage, battlin my dick"
(i wish i remembered the first part)

the whole place fell apart though, it was mad funny

06-16-2005, 11:13 PM
"fuck Batman And Robin, I'm Robbin Wit A Bat Man"

"i'm Far From A Square Cuz I Wreck When I Tangle (rectangle)"

06-16-2005, 11:26 PM
"Dawg, I spit ryhmes that stun cowards
And I don't smoke or snort coke
Trick, I sniff lines of gun powder"

It probably doesn't sound right reading it but here's the freestyle by Locksmith:

06-17-2005, 12:43 AM
Dunno if these are punchlines, some are metaphors, some are just statements... but I dig these...

"Your reign on top is short like leprechauns"-Biggie

"Fuck being hard Posdnous is complicated!"-De La Soul

"They wanna know why I'm so fly/ A girl ask me for a ring and I put one around her whole eye"-Big L

"I got more riches than you, fuck more bitches than you/ Only thing I haven't got is more, stitches than you"-Big L

T.H.O.M.A.S. Man
06-17-2005, 12:48 AM
"I got more riches than you, fuck more bitches than you/ Only thing I haven't got is more, stitches than you"-Big L
from the same song...

'far from broke i got enough bread,
and mad hoes,
ask beavis i get nothin but-head"

big L is ridiculous.

for real though, read my last post in this thread adn trust me it was funny

06-17-2005, 01:18 AM

u couldnt kick a verse if u played soccer with bibles

am on the toilet with an l my shit is smoking

am on top of the game like ag unit groupie

06-17-2005, 01:29 AM
"im at the point where non smokers get high when they challenge mine, so if they fuck up they'll have a alibi, illuminate the human eye, im fast with it, let me see that new verse you wrote, i'll wipe my ass with it" - Copywrite; Tower Of Babble

Prowess the hardest cowards, that rock alike, tryin to sound like a Pete Nelson but you cant even copy right (copywrite) - Copywrite; Tower Of Babble

"Finish your verse, while i commence to school emcees like Colorado words" - Cage; Tower Of Babble

"you all wild? grab ya clique, ima take your dogs out like they had to shit" - Jakki Da Motormouth; Freestyle

"i can do this dude with one mutter, your easly solved, like a rubix cube with 1 color" - Jakki Da Motormout; Freestyle

god there so so much more....

06-17-2005, 02:11 AM
yea but i dont understand first one
and copy is too repeptive

Kikc in ur door like u had a car system copy write kik in the door Freestie

06-17-2005, 06:43 AM

ok so non smokers get high..u get it...rappers that dont smoke, get high, so when they come at him, and fuck up, they have an excuse...

and the rest of it with funny, "LET ME SEE THAT NEW VERSE YOU WROTE, i'll wipe my ASS with it"

HAHAHAHHAHA thats funny...u should actually listen to the song....repetitive? nah man, i wouldnt judge him, well go ahead if u want, but your way off, i wouldnt say nothing unless u own one of his albums, u own one of his albums?.

06-17-2005, 06:56 AM
^yo... have you got that jakki the motormouth album... ifya have hook me up, i used to have it but formatted....

"you hold your own? (no you don't) ill let you shit first, when i start shittin the toilet overflows.."


06-17-2005, 08:55 AM
i love that punchline..glad someone else is into Copywrite, Jakki, Weathermen and even MHz? lol

damn i never had that Jakki album....i want it so bad....i bet its fuckin sick....that dudes so sick......

u dun happen to have that Copywrite album? his last one..not his last mixtape..but the actuall album?

06-17-2005, 09:11 AM
i have crusie control vol. 1 mixtape (where there is an emcee called TAGE! lol)

and... the high exhaulted (which i think is bootlegged, not sure)

and i neeeed tha jakki the motormouth album again, cant find it anywhere.... um.. ig ot the mhz album table scraps too... which is dope... rocket science is a dope track!

06-17-2005, 11:48 AM
" Contaminate your air sacs like tear gas
And I swear black, try to battle me, you won't last
I'll turn your ass into the artist formerly known as, you gay ass fag
I'll blow you to ashes with tactics
Strip you naked, then make you hug a cactus, you bastard"

Canibus on Making a Name for Ourselves.

Definitive X
06-17-2005, 11:59 AM
This cat Qwel from a group called Typical Cats has mad punchlines:

"Can't tell whether you're dick or pussy like topless infants..."

"My style's C section cuz I'm a cut above you pussies..."

"I drop lines like Samoans on tight ropes..."

"I get loose like faggot's anus..."

06-17-2005, 12:35 PM
If I were a rapper, I would never compare myself to a faggot's anus.

Shit, I would never compare myself to a faggot's anus at all.

Da Ryda
06-17-2005, 12:53 PM
"My metaphor is meta-five" (Ras Kass)

"I'm the shit like Mr. Hankey" (Ras Kass)

"I get the US Open without playing tennis" (Punchline)

"I've seen better punchlines at prom waiting for their drink" (Jin)

"9 out of 10 chicks think they dime
9 out of 10 dicks think they can rhyme" (Jin)

"I go on BET, beat up the hosts and kick a free" (Jin)

"we go way back like your father's hairline" (Ludacris)

"you couldn't stand half a chance if you were Siamese twins" (Ludacris)

"I bear arms like shortsleeves" (Jay Z)


I'll add on if I remember some more

Definitive X
06-17-2005, 12:56 PM
My filthy mouth, it won't fight cavities or beat plaque
So I shot the tooth fairy and put my old teeth back

Definitive X
06-17-2005, 01:03 PM
"Even when I say nothing it's a beautiful use of negative space"

"My style is welfare, half of you bitches is on it!!"

"They say I go too far, but pop radio playin' me
Like FCC stands for--Fuckin' Chino's Crazy."

"I show more blind rage
Then Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder wrestling in a steel cage."

"My brain got built-in Pentium chips, my thoughts the fastest
For Shakespearian actors, Chino shall busteth your asseth."

"I leave rappers confused like homeless cats on house arrest"

"I have the letters on your FUBU sweater standin' for 'Fucked Up By Us'."

"I'm like a record deal from Select, ending anyone's career."

-Chino XL

06-17-2005, 01:06 PM
theres to many. . .

'my clique is raw so be prepared when you meet us/ kill and unborn baby and you still couldnt De-Featus. - Celph Titled.

'Nasty fattys, clown hoes, your pussy hasnt got a rash? why you clit look like a clown nose' - Kno.

and many more.

Nexodus the Nth Entity
06-17-2005, 02:00 PM
here's some punchs all off the same track....
Apathy ft. Celph, Rise & C-Rayz - Smackdown

"You couldn't be saved if cops came with formatted disks/"

"In this rap game I'm nobody, (why?), nobody's perfect/"

"You get no reciept when all sales are final/
I leave you beside (b-side) yourself like the other side of vinyl/"

"Attach razors to shoe so I can cut to the chase/"

"You couldn't drop knowledge if you threw an encyclopedia off a cliff/"

"You're a dumb fuck, like retarded group sex/"

"I'm off the wall like an ugly portrait/"

"I'll shoot you in the foot to give you shell toes/"

"You couldn't come on time if you jerked off in front of clocks/"

and another one for good measure, not 'really' a punchline, nevertheless is dope

"Stole my sneakers but you feet just never fit in/
Serves you right for trying to walk a mile outside your limits/" - Aesop Rock

06-17-2005, 03:10 PM
In the mental, pick any mental - instru, funda, detri
Extra Extra large like the borough of brooklyn the residential
Exi-stential-ist specialist

Talib Kweli - Move Somethin'

you have to hear it, but its real nice

06-17-2005, 11:25 PM
You wanna battle with a Jesus piece you need luck
You couldn't see me with a Jacob piece from Jesus

06-17-2005, 11:58 PM
ok we all know Big L is the king of punchlines..ill line up the best ones (atleast my favorites)

however i am lazy so they will just be from Lifestylez

"I run with sturdy clicks I'm never hittin dirty chicks
Got thirty-five bodies, buddy don't make it thirty-six"

"If you battle L you picked the wrong head
I smash mics like cornbread, you can't kill me I was born dead" :mmmyah:

"And everytime I'm in a jam I always find a loophole
I got a crime record longer than Manute Bol"

"Battles I lose none I make crews run
I get fools done, got ten fingers but only use one
My run is like Machine Gun Kelly, with a black skully
Put one in your belly, leave you smelly, then take your Pelle Pelle
I'm the neighborhood lampor, punani vamper, mess around you'll find
My silkboxers in your mommy's hamper" - enough shit there to keep you smiling for dayyyys..

- just check out all of "8 iz enuff" if you havent already..

"So don't step to this, cause I got a live crew
You might be kinda big but they make coffins yo' size too"

"Cause on the shelf is where your LP cold stood
Because it was no good, that shit ain't even go wood"

"I was a gangsta from the git-go
Leavin fags in bodybags with tags on they big toe"

"I be placin snitches inside lakes and ditches
And if I catch AIDS, then I'ma start rapin bitches" dear god

"I'm chokin enemies til they start turnin pale
Satan said I'm learnin well, Big L's gonna burn in hell"

"I'm on some satanic shit, strictly, little kids
be wakin up cryin, yellin, "Mommy Big L is comin to get me!""

"...niggaz drop when my shotty sparks
It ain't no food in my fridge; just body parts"

"But I'm sicker than a nigga that's in special ed so I suggest
you spread pretzelhead, 'fore I turn your white sweatsuit red"

"I'm makin' ducks shed much tears
I buck queers
I don't have it all upstairs but who the fuck cares?"

"Breakin in cribs with a chrome bar
I wasn't 'poor', I was po', I couldn't afford the 'o-r'" classic

"The crown is still mine cause I drop ill rhymes
A lot of rappers talk that murder shit and couldn't kill time
One two one two crews I run through
Fuck karate Big L practice Gun Fu"

"I'm undefeated that's the stone truth
Cause battlin' me is like fightin' a gorilla in a phone booth" my personal favorite 2 liner..

and on that ill end this. alot of you people have hopefully heard these before but i thought it would be cool to bring it to the forefront, i wanna start seein some of these in sigs and shit lol.....peace out

06-17-2005, 11:59 PM
My homie Sigel's on a tier
Where no tears should fall
Cause he was on the block where no squares get off
See in my inner circle all we do is ball
Til we all got triangles on our wall
Jay-z - Moment of Clarity

Who else you know been hot this long?
Started from nothin' but he got this strong
Picked the rock from a pebble
Peddled rock before I met you
Peddle bikes got my nephew's
Pedal bikes because they special
That you tell that man I thought it, well
Somebody must've taught him cause
Every fourth quarter, I light the Mike Jord' in them
Number one albums, what? I got like four of them
More of them on the way
The eighth wonder on the way
Clear the way I'm here to stay
Y'all can save the chitter-chat
'This and that', 'this and Jay'
This and Jay'll get you maced
When I start spittin' them lyrics
Niggas get very religious
Six Hail Mary's please, Father forgive us
The archbishop, the Pope John Paul of y'all niggas
The way y'all all follow Jigga
Hov's a living legend and I'll tell you why
Everybody wanna be Hov and Hov's still alive
Jay-z - Never let you down

Definitive X
06-18-2005, 12:16 AM
"I leave more pussies bleedin' than a virgin orgy/
You couldn't drop dope shit if you had heroin in ya feces."

06-18-2005, 01:29 AM
dam that smackdown i was gonna put that down

thought niggas was not up on that

06-18-2005, 03:06 AM
"You Shouldn't Be Signed With A White Caste On Your Leg" - Chino XL

Chino is another sick lyricist...but he likes to talk shit

"I Grab My Nuts When I See TuPac" - Chino XL

Tupac Diss Freestyle, shit is funny, Pac gets dissed hard

06-18-2005, 03:09 AM
i have crusie control vol. 1 mixtape (where there is an emcee called TAGE! lol)

and... the high exhaulted (which i think is bootlegged, not sure)

and i neeeed tha jakki the motormouth album again, cant find it anywhere.... um.. ig ot the mhz album table scraps too... which is dope... rocket science is a dope track!
hook me up with The High Exhaulted yo!!!

06-18-2005, 03:11 AM
"fuck your lines bitch, spit a bar, so i can snatch it out ya mind, and beat you with it"
- I-Legit

06-18-2005, 07:10 PM
i keep a cutie with a soft bootie, hoes be runnin up "can i get your autograph, l" no bitch, im off dutie

-Big L

Pretty much this whole thread could be all Big L

06-18-2005, 07:24 PM
i keep a cutie with a soft bootie, hoes be runnin up "can i get your autograph, l" no bitch, im off dutie

-Big L

Pretty much this whole thread could be all Big L
^im not comparing but i can fill 3 pages easy with punchlines from Copywrite and Jakki Da Motormouth alone

06-19-2005, 02:13 AM
"i got techniques drippin out my buttcheeks, sleep on my stomach so i dont fuck up my sheets:

06-19-2005, 05:44 PM

life is like video footage hard to edit

cmon that rza shit was extremely ill

Nexodus the Nth Entity
06-20-2005, 01:11 AM
"Go ahead and grip glocks, I'll snap ya trigger finger in 6 spots/
You'll have to liplock with hypodermic needles to lick shots/
I watch you topple flat, put away ya rings and holla back/
Can't freestyle? You screwed off the top like bottle caps/" - Diabolic

06-20-2005, 09:53 AM
Ask Bevis, I get nothing butthead - Big L

Definitive X
06-20-2005, 11:56 AM
Xtadas is the BLUEPRINT for spitting a verse
So if you wanna defeat me, you'd have to KILL ME FIRST
-Xtadas (those that listen to Blueprint, you'll get the punchline)

06-20-2005, 12:03 PM
ill hop into the back-seat of a cab and rhyme until the meter reads 9,9,9,9

Definitive X
06-20-2005, 12:25 PM
"Hardcore like Kool G Rap music made for concert piano..."
-Bigg Jus from Company Flow, "Bad Touch Example"

"Rugged like Rwanda, don't wind up far or get chopped up
Quick to rush the spot like baby urine get mopped up..."
-Bigg Jus from Company Flow, "8 Steps to Perfection"

"MCs couldn't hang if they was lynched by the Grand Dragon..."
-Bigg Jus from Company Flow, "8 Steps to Perfection"

06-20-2005, 02:33 PM
dick so deep down your bitch mouth i cum in her hair-rass kass

thats fukkin ill!!!!!!!!

06-20-2005, 03:20 PM
and dont mumble when u try 2 disrespect my bars//
i'll throw a chinese ni99a at u infected wit sars


im still angry n bitter//
got ni99as laughin at u after u die like john ritta

Both Immortal Technique - Lions Den Freestyle

06-21-2005, 12:57 AM
Vakill has some nice punchlines

"...I'm stroking pussy like Inspector Gadget's villain"

"Sending threat outs; role with clicks like an internet mouse"

"....The only pussy I pity besides you, is the first piece that AC Green gets"

06-22-2005, 08:26 AM
"Kick Lines Only God Can Produce, I'm So Sick I Spit Rhymes With A Doctors Excuse"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"People Praise Like Ima Be Lord, Cause I'm On Top Of My Game Like I'm Having Sex With A Monopoly Board"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"Motor Bout Punishment, Like A Set Of Human Legs On Fecies Joggin, I'm Running Shit"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"I'm Like A Man That Hates Change, You Can't Talk Sense (Cents) To Me"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"Intoduce Me To Your Toes, And I Still Won't Meet Defeat"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"I Bet A Whore Won't Fuck With Your Easy Metaphores"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"Whip Out A Can Of Whoop Ass, I'll Whoop A Cans' Ass"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"I'm That Raw, Lyrics Always Catch You, Cause They're Comming From A Trap Jaw"
-Jakki Da Motormouth

"You Could't Move A Unit, Even If You Drove 50 And Lloyd Banks Tour Bus"
- Copywrite

06-22-2005, 09:08 AM
"After Takin A Shot Of Life, I'll Chase Em With Death"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

06-22-2005, 09:51 AM
that motormouth dude is fukin sick

defiantely need to b hearin some of his songs

im technique the rawest ni99a ever produced//
i spit nastier then regurgatatin period juice - Immortal techniue

06-22-2005, 09:51 AM
"I Wanna Fuck Your Bitch In Her Mouth, Cause I Hate Her Guts"
- MHz

06-22-2005, 01:13 PM
Call me the devil, cause I'm Da Evillest Villain In Life

06-22-2005, 01:29 PM
WHACK!!!! u make that up?

i can come up with somthing better then that!

"im schitz, demonically twisted, see 666 demons blitz when when i drop my shit"

06-22-2005, 01:40 PM
"The Streets Don't Love You, So Why You Hug The Block?"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

06-22-2005, 01:48 PM
got more soul than a sock with a hole


if im not the best im one of the best in the top 3
out of myself, i and me


06-22-2005, 01:52 PM
wackness ^^^^




Rooty P
06-22-2005, 03:09 PM

06-22-2005, 08:18 PM
"If You Stuck Your Dick In A River, You Still Coulnd't Fuck With The Flow"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

"Like A Fagot Without A Dick, Your Not Packing Shit"
- Jakki Da Motormouth

06-22-2005, 10:51 PM
"I Don't Wanna Be Mainstream, I Wanna Piss In It"
- Copywrite

Sicka than aidZ
06-23-2005, 01:46 AM
"I am the one who kicked your daddy in the nuts just like your mental state was fucked before u hit your mama's guts"

Imani, Pharcyde

06-26-2005, 09:57 AM
you beating me in a battle will happen when faggots start straight bashing-rass muthaphukkin kass!!!!

06-26-2005, 11:00 AM
i'll hold ya whole clik to ranson, ur so ugly ur handsome - sway a english rapper battlin a girl who is a tomboy (girl who dresses like a man)

these rappers couldnt see me comin if they were vaginas with spectacles - sway

ur mother needs to get an injection, nasty bitch i wouldnt fuk her if i had triple protection, i called her up for phone sex and the bitch gave me an ear infection - Immortal technique battlin Eyedea

Bless, 1

06-26-2005, 08:13 PM
you couldn't make the fans throw up their hands if they swallowed their fingers - eminem

Definitive X
06-26-2005, 10:31 PM
I'll pull ya larynx out'cha anus if you talk out'cha ass...

Definitive X
06-26-2005, 10:33 PM
Rappers more smoked out than Canibus rollin' two Ls...
-Xtadas (this one takes time to understand)

06-26-2005, 11:55 PM
"you bitches wish i pulled a jigga and retire"
- Copywrite

06-27-2005, 12:38 AM
ya breath is expiring, you need to relax, ya raps is nothing positive only wack
let my gats give you and standing O, and you stunned silly waitin for the gun clap

06-27-2005, 01:37 AM
spit dence harder then "rock", no rant, dont take it for "granite", call me a juggernaut
- Inellekt (me) lol

06-28-2005, 12:56 AM
this motha fucka on the mic cant sweat this,
he couldnt reach the top in a bad game of tetris


i coulda posted so many, but they all look weak in comparison to whats been already posted, so...

06-28-2005, 05:21 PM
"Ive Seen Better "Wrappers (rappers)" On Candy Bars, To Nice To Get "Ripped"
- Copywrite

"Unlike Like "Laffy Taffy", I Got A Joke On Every "Wrapper" (Rapper)"
- Copywrite

Luther Large
07-01-2005, 03:14 PM
Every minute my style switches up they say a real man won't hit a girl well I aint real cuz I beat bitches up-Big L

07-02-2005, 12:13 AM
"I'll snatch your crown with your head still attached to it."


07-02-2005, 12:31 AM
"He only came to save the game like a memory card"


Definitive X
07-15-2005, 12:37 PM
I'm the albino, but y'all pale in comparison...
-Brother Ali

07-15-2005, 03:01 PM
These niggas couldn't be stars if they were thrown by chinese ninjas - Chino XL

I knock so much teeth out the tooth fairy went bankrupt - Big L

Niggaz so stingy they got short arms and deep pockets - GZA

That's what you get when you misused what i invent, Your empire falls and you loose every cent, for tryin to blow up a scrub, now that thought is as bright as a 20 watt light bub - GZA

My girls are like boomrangs no matter how far i thorw them they always come back - Big L

My heart is blacker than the cotton fields in the slavery days - Chino XL

Thats all that comes to mind right now...there are much more

Crazy K
07-15-2005, 03:01 PM
Like a "blunt"/ All of ya'll be gettin "smoked"
Ya rhymes couldn't be "dope" if I laced them with "coke"

-Crazy K