View Full Version : I got an itch today

Art Vandelay
01-02-2010, 08:53 PM
no not from when i long-stroked queen of poetry. for the first time in over 10 years, i played hockey. i can't believe how everything came back to me. most of my game was pretty rusty, but my wrist shot is still like a missle. it's weird. i wonder what i've been doing to keep my wrists in such good shape for the past decade.

i'm back in the game now. my jersey is unretired.



01-02-2010, 09:00 PM
I'm still undecided about hockey. Its the most boss sport after football (tied with lax but before soccer) Like on one hand the game is dopium and it combines running on razorblades, slashing with wooden clubs, and bare knuckle boxing and is still legal...

However everyone I know who plays hockey is either a poser bro douche nozzle or a closet homo. Hockey players get up so early and shit and shower together and they all spend their times comparing dick size, and although i don't think its gay to see a dick I feel hockey players have a homo erotic streak to them.

I mean I say things like "let us gingerly touch tips" or "yeah you cradle those balls girl" or "damn that shot had extra mayo" or "yeah you like it you dirty hussy" or even blow a kiss through my mouth guard, but thats not nearly as gay...

Olive Oil Goombah
01-02-2010, 09:04 PM
u played goalie tho. for the misfits

Art Vandelay
01-02-2010, 09:09 PM
sorry toochski, i was always a winger. i prefered the right side. i played a little D today, though.

Queen Of Poetry
01-02-2010, 09:18 PM
no not from when i long-stroked queen of poetry.

That wasn't nice.

Art Vandelay
01-02-2010, 09:27 PM
you're wrong. it was nice. i was saying i didn't catch anything when i fucked you. i'm saying you are clean.

Queen Of Poetry
01-02-2010, 09:30 PM
you're wrong. it was nice. i was saying i didn't catch anything when i fucked you. i'm saying you are clean.

Oh ok then. Yes I am clean despite what most think on this damn site. Thank you then!

Art Vandelay
01-02-2010, 09:35 PM
actually, you were clean, up until you fucked me

Ghost In The 'Lac
01-02-2010, 09:37 PM

01-02-2010, 09:47 PM
I've sort of dreampt about having a mens league of field hockey here in the us. Just imagine the glory of the plaid kilts, argyl high socks, sleaveless rugbies, steroid enhanced biceps, and a full contact but pads are for pussies atmosphere.

Hell I'd even grow a fucking muttonchop-mustache combo and shave my head if that was an available sport.

I mean the euros play it as if it was soccer, but we americans would play it like it was fucking ice hockey with a blend of football and combat survival training...

Art Vandelay
01-02-2010, 09:49 PM
some boys play on girls field hockey teams in high school.

01-02-2010, 09:50 PM
Its just not the same.

Prolifical ENG
01-02-2010, 09:52 PM
I play hockey maybe 2-3 times a year these days. I remember 2 years back when I never put on skates in 7 years....I go to the sporting store and look at sporting equipment...still has my old stuff but bought a stick. The only thing was I didnt need to tie up my hockey pants....they were a little snug and choking my "Old Milwaukee".

My slap shot I was surprised I didnt fan on it....when I used to have speed when I was younger....those 18-19 year olds, once they got by me there was no catching like I used to.

Art Vandelay
01-02-2010, 09:55 PM
yeah, we just fooled around today. no equipment but skates, gloves and sticks (except for the goalie was in full gear). i need to check and see if my equipment is still at my parents house. they may have thrown it out. my pants and shin guards are probably cool. everything else i would have to buy. i used somebody's old skates today and they killed my feet. that will be my first purchase.

Prolifical ENG
01-02-2010, 10:19 PM
Thats not bad, when I started playing occasionally I bought new helmet and jock since thats where I have the most of myself invested in. I have some good shoulder pads but thats the only thing I dont bother to wear in those scrimmages or I might not last the full hour....lol

Art Vandelay
01-03-2010, 01:01 PM
yeah next time i play i'm going to use full equipment. some kid took a wrist shot and it nipped me in the leg. it didn't hurt, but i thought it was going to hit me in the balls. now that i think about it, it was kind of stupid to not wear full pads.

Wu-Tang Forum Internet Poster
01-03-2010, 04:14 PM
No way Art can skate with his inverted ass.

He's pigeon-assed.

Ol' Dirty Trixˣ
01-03-2010, 07:25 PM
lol @ dan

Art Vandelay
01-03-2010, 08:45 PM
lol @ dan

first and last time you will ever see someone say this

Olive Oil Goombah
01-03-2010, 09:25 PM
hahaha....do i smell a whiteboy beef?