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View Full Version : Artie Lange tried to kill himself


Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 07:17 AM
Page Six: Stern sidekick Lange in suicide attempt

http://media.phillyburbs.com/thumb/280x250/51e32b30-f824-435d-888c-c7bbd1a608b9453637.jpg

TEXT SIZE http://media.phillyburbs.com/template/images/plus.gif http://media.phillyburbs.com/template/images/minus.gif
By: PATRICK BERKERY
phillyBurbs.com

Howard Stern alluded to, but did not read this morning a report from the New York Post's Page Six (http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3 oJ) detailing a suicide attempt by his on-air sidekick/stand-up comedian Artie Lange.
From the Page Six item, posted early this morning:
"Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding."

At first Stern said he would read the item, then changed his mind several times before deciding not to read it.
"I'm sorry. I just feel sick about this, I don't know what to do."
Stern talked about Lange and his situation for about 15 minutes. He referred to Lange's troubles with substance abuse (the cause of his absence from the show since early December) and reminisced about his early appearances on the show - at times sounding like he was eulogizing his sidekick, before saying "I don't want this to sound like a eulogy."

Stern said he hasn't spoken with Lange recently, and disclosed that his co-host Robin Quivers and Sirius Satellite Radio executive Tim Sabean have. "I'm just freaked out, I don't know what the hell to do," Stern said. "If Artie wants to talk to me, he'll call me. I only wish him well. I don't know what's going to be. This is just too much, too much to bear. My thoughts go to his mother and sister who I'm sure are in great pain. That's mind-blowing."

famenchuan
01-07-2010, 08:18 AM
always thought this guy was pretty funny.

Ghost In The 'Lac
01-07-2010, 08:29 AM
Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds"


Faggot

baby jesus
01-07-2010, 10:10 AM
I Just Dropped My Subscription To Sirius A Little While Ago A Couple Of My Friends Who Still Got It Where Telling Me He Was In The Hospital From Listening To The Show. I Figured When It Came Out The Real Reason That You Would Start A Thread On It.

Artie Just Wont Be Happy Till He Kills Himself Or His Lifes In Complete Shambles. He Sabatoges Everything Good He's Involved With Starting With Mad TV And How He Got Kicked Off That Show. His Mom And Sister Hold Him Down Hes Got His Dream Job Making A Lot Of Money And He's Miserable.

I Dont Know If He Has Been Doing Shows On The Road But He Should Have Completely Stopped Doing That. He Wants To Be Kinnesion And Farely So Bad.

TSA
01-07-2010, 10:21 AM
i've always pictured vandelay looking like this guy

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 10:54 AM
he doesnt he looks like this guy

http://www.harrymedia.com/img/data/media/36/13055.jpg

TSA
01-07-2010, 12:19 PM
art post a picture so we can see if you look like art lang or that high definition pedophile.

ya bigg pusseh
you've already posted your asshole, might as well post your face and stop being on some ghostlace insecure shit.

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 12:23 PM
he looks like the pedo. i have seen him.

Ghost In The 'Lac
01-07-2010, 12:26 PM
I dont see why anyone would want to post their picture here.

Ever.

Why? All its gonna be used for is someone whos really butthurt like skampoe photoshopping a dick on your face or some shit. I dont want that floating around thanks. I have no idea why someone would need to post their photo on a place like this.

TSA
01-07-2010, 12:27 PM
idk if you started thinking your cool but ppl on here dont matter until they post a picture. how can you make fun of someone if you too insecure to show your own face. like, are you ashamed of it? the most physically degenerated ppl have posted pictures on here, do you really feel your THAT much uglier then skampoe and fermi paradox?

if someone asks you to post a picture its a compliment, a way for them to ask you to start mattering.


are you scare of skampoe putting a dick on a picture of you? will this hurt and offend you? sensitive?
plus not posting a picture is just pussy. wtf.

-------------------------------



at my work, the sex offenders ward has the highest moustaches per capita in the country except larger sex offender wards.

i know its a stereotype but i kid you not 9 out of 10 of them have moustaches, are short, ball, and have a pot belly.

they're also really nice. like the type of ppl that would read you a story book and convince you it was really happening cause of their vigor.

i walk through wal mart and spot sex offenders are will now justt cause they're so physically similar

there's some that break the mold, but the moustache pot belly and male pattern baldness are dead give aways.

Teh KillaBee
01-07-2010, 12:29 PM
lol at people who fail at killing themselves. Included in the list of failures, my ex-wife. Too bad imo

TSA
01-07-2010, 12:32 PM
^LMAO!

yeah, ex significant others are fucking dumb.

Teh KillaBee
01-07-2010, 12:35 PM
qft, gun failure followed by trying to cut her own throat........kindly asked her to do it in the bathtub so I wouldn't have to clean up her mess

Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 12:46 PM
I'm circled in red in the top left corner of the pic.



http://inlinethumb54.webshots.com/21109/2504657760103320611S600x600Q85.jpg

Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 12:48 PM
and here's me Wilson home improvement style...be jealous of the eyebrows. those are all natural, mother fuckers

http://inlinethumb47.webshots.com/3374/2178380690103320611S600x600Q85.jpg

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 12:54 PM
serial killers all wear the same kind of jeffrey dahmer glasses

Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 12:58 PM
????

i don't get it? is that in reference to me? i don't wear glasses.

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 12:59 PM
no

Ghost In The 'Lac
01-07-2010, 01:02 PM
and here's me Wilson home improvement style...be jealous of the eyebrows. those are all natural, mother fuckers

http://inlinethumb47.webshots.com/3374/2178380690103320611S600x600Q85.jpg


Why are you wearing some sort of tortilla chip on your head?

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 01:03 PM
u dumb fucking foreigner, you have no idea who Wilson is

Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 01:05 PM
this is probably the picture that i cut n pasted from...


http://blog.syracuse.com/axeman/2007/12/medium_wilson.jpg

Ghost In The 'Lac
01-07-2010, 01:10 PM
u dumb fucking foreigner, you have no idea who Wilson is

Of course I do, Home Improvment was played just as much over here as over there, maybe more.

The difference is though, I was the right age to be watching it, you wouldve been in your 20's.

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 01:23 PM
home improvement came on at 9 oclock.....bed time for your age group.

If he was good, I'd let my son stay up and watch it with me.

Its about a family man with a family. So i related.


Stop jockin off of my cultures sitcoms

TeknicelStylez
01-07-2010, 02:15 PM
Out of all the different ways to take yourself off the planet, who the fuck in the right mind stabs themselves. I've been stabbed 3 times that shit hurts like a motherfucker.

Olive Oil Goombah
01-07-2010, 02:18 PM
my cousin stabbed his wife to death then stabbed himself in the neck multiple times.


dont kno how the fuck he could have done that.

Teh KillaBee
01-07-2010, 04:21 PM
my cousin stabbed his wife to death then stabbed himself in the neck multiple times.


dont kno how the fuck he could have done that.


*takes notes

11th Chamber
01-07-2010, 06:30 PM
i've always pictured vandelay looking like this guy

ahahaahaha i thought the exact same thing when I clicked on the thread and saw Art posted this.


Anyways, I guess being un-funny and fat can make u suicidal

EAGLE EYE
01-07-2010, 07:26 PM
idk if you started thinking your cool but ppl on here dont matter until they post a picture. how can you make fun of someone if you too insecure to show your own face. like, are you ashamed of it? the most physically degenerated ppl have posted pictures on here, do you really feel your THAT much uglier then skampoe and fermi paradox?

if someone asks you to post a picture its a compliment, a way for them to ask you to start mattering.


are you scare of skampoe putting a dick on a picture of you? will this hurt and offend you? sensitive?
plus not posting a picture is just pussy. wtf.

-------------------------------



at my work, the sex offenders ward has the highest moustaches per capita in the country except larger sex offender wards.

i know its a stereotype but i kid you not 9 out of 10 of them have moustaches, are short, ball, and have a pot belly.

they're also really nice. like the type of ppl that would read you a story book and convince you it was really happening cause of their vigor.

i walk through wal mart and spot sex offenders are will now justt cause they're so physically similar

there's some that break the mold, but the moustache pot belly and male pattern baldness are dead give aways.



Yea he definitely fears deh genchat wolves having fun with his pic. But I've seen what he looks like along time ago when I first signed up. I have a photographic memory and was browsing the post your pic fred. They were removed.


Needless to say the entire forum would go in on him for looking like offspring of the Black Keys and Fermi. #SOAWF

GZAjector
01-07-2010, 07:34 PM
i think there was some dude who cut his own head off with a chainsaw?







whatever

artie, if you're reading this, get well soon

Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 10:06 PM
artie is a self-described bruce springsteen and molly hatchet fan. i doubt he is on a wu-tang forum

PuNcH_iN_PuNcH_OuT
01-07-2010, 10:26 PM
lol TSA gave ghost a father son prep talk hahaha

GZAjector
01-07-2010, 10:41 PM
artie is a self-described bruce springsteen and molly hatchet fan. i doubt he is on a wu-tang forumyou're kidding me




artie/DC is the shit







i love when he would call in sick to the show and they would play tapes of the call and he was really on heroin and then they would bust his balls for being a 300 pound heroin addict


best show in the history of the world, it's like the wu corp of radio

Art Vandelay
01-07-2010, 11:03 PM
artie's been getting on my nevers for the last year or so. i'm ready to bring jackie the jokeman back.

TSA
01-08-2010, 03:32 PM
Yea he definitely fears deh genchat wolves having fun with his pic. But I've seen what he looks like along time ago when I first signed up. I have a photographic memory and was browsing the post your pic fred. They were removed.


Needless to say the entire forum would go in on him for looking like offspring of the Black Keys and Fermi. #SOAWF
Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahhahahahahah?AHAh!
the guy is an insecure and sensitive pusseh. i dont get where he finds the nerve to start insulting ppl, on anything, if he's ashamed of his face and afraid of photoshop and fermi paradox.

PuNcH_iN_PuNcH_OuT
01-08-2010, 04:47 PM
lace has based his entire e-career on you ^^ in every single fucking detail


..... except posting his pasty puss rocking the scarf + toy dog combo

ZigZag
01-08-2010, 07:43 PM
this dude is the fuckin greatest piece of shit on earth...it would of been a real lost...why doesn't ellen try to kill herself?

Uncle Steezo
01-08-2010, 08:28 PM
doesn't london have the most video surveillance in the world?
this pale bastard is getting etherd by strangers all day but can't post a pic for people he eKnows.

you know some brittish hamhock is snickering at a monitor, showing that pasty fucker blasting bizzy bone, shoveling the sidewalk, doing his best Turbo impersonation.

BVrWDPi12zE