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Old 10-10-2010, 12:29 AM   #119
beautifulrock
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulrock View Post
Ok. I guess one good turn deserves another.

You are Queen of Poetry. Four foot nothing, ninety nothing pounds. You are a nubian Queen, and you must let everybody know it. You wake up in the bean bag chair you use as a bed. Assorted dildos and vibrators litter the floor, although you swear you never use them. You stumble into the bathroom and use a step ladder to view yourself in the bathroom mirror. You are a small, but very beautiful African Queen, and did I mention you are tiny? Suddenly there is a knock at the door. It's Art Vandelay and Nicky Tooch.

Do U:

A. Open the door and welcome them lovingly
B. Get extra quiet and hope they go away
Quote:
Originally Posted by RuggedSounds View Post
A. Open the door and welcome them lovingly
Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulrock View Post
You open the door and shout 'CRACKAS!!!' giving them each a large bearhug, your cheek nestling up to meet their awaiting groins. 'I always wanted a threesome with an old greasy Italian and a fat retard!' you exclaim looking up into their awaiting eyes. Their lack of reprisal has you in a state of surprisal and your only advisor is yourself, none the wiser. They say that they are not here for sex, and they don't touch women, just each other. It seems their needs are more pressing and they warn you about an impending terrorist attack on New York. You are frightened and so very very short.

Do U:
A: Take Nicky and Art and get the fuck out of New York
B: Confront your fears head on and go after the terrorists
Quote:
Originally Posted by RuggedSounds View Post
B: Confront your fears head on and go after the terrorists
Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulrock View Post
Even though you are minuscule, you have a huge heart. You take The Situation and George Costanza and head to the heart of Times Square. The streets are barricaded and police have their guns drawn on a van full of bearded men with turbans. You immediately recognize the driver.

Do U:

A. Tell the cops to shoot immediately
B. Tell them it's a huge mistake
Quote:
Originally Posted by RuggedSounds View Post
A. Tell the cops to shoot immediately
Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulrock View Post
You run tell that. The cops take your concern seriously and open fire on the van. It's a massacre. You quietly duck out and take the whoightboys to your favorite social hangout. It's a place where angry young black people can take out their frustrations by reciting poetry loudly and obnoxiously, the movie theater. As you wait in line you see on the monitor that the Cilvaringz advance street team has been gunned down in Times Square by mistake. OOPS, I guess there won't be a III. So, what movie ya'll gonna see.

DO U:

A. see The Blind Side
B. see Avatar


(note: although the movies are from the past, this is somehow the future)
Quote:
Originally Posted by RuggedSounds View Post
A. see The Blind Side
Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulrock View Post
You go to see the Blind Side. After ten minutes, you all decide to leave. 'I never thought anything could be more pretentious than Six Feet Under', you say, Nicky Laughs, and Art laughs because Nicky laughs. You sneak into Avatar. The majestic beauty and theme of the story overwhelm you (although the plot line is eerily similar to Dances With Wolves, I'm just sayin...) and you start to think about the beauty in all people and want to embrace other cultures and other people, but not these two, because as you look over Nicky and Art are engaged in a nasty sixty nine, their heads bashing against chair legs on the theater floor. 'Y'all are some tryflin' ass honkeys' you say and leave them on the floor as you exit the theater, a renewed woman spiritually. But still tiny.

















































































6 months later you marry this guy





The End.
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