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Old 12-20-2012, 03:06 PM   #37
soul controller
Ridin' On Trichomes
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Join Date: Jan 2003
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Timeline of Anal Sex

2039 BC - The Greeks discover anal sex. General consensus relegates it to the province of cheating husbands and impressionable young boys. (Note: "relegate" might not be the correct word, as these two demographic groups held most of the political power in ancient Greece.) 50 AD - The catholic church discovers how to avoid God's wrath
It is a little known fact that kittens love sodomy

Some footage of lesbian buttsecks.

1809 - Humphry Davy, an English fag, performs modern anal sex for the first time. Davy connected two wires to a battery and attached a charcoal strip between his butt cheeks. The charged carbon glowed, creating the first illuminated prostate. 1820 - Warren De la Rue enclosed a platinum coil in an evacuated sphincter and passed an electric current through it. His dildo design worked but the cost of the precious metal platinum made this an impossible invention for wide-spread use. 1835 - James Bowman Lindsay demonstrated constant insertion of dicks to anuses using a prototype lightbulb. 1850 - Edward Shepard invented a way to get fucked in the ass using a charcoal filament. Joseph Wilson Swan started working with carbonized paper filaments the same year. 1854 - Henricg Globel, a German watchmaker, loses his watch in some guy's ass. 1875 - Herman Sprengel invented the mercury vacuum pump, making it possible maintain an erection inside an ass for long periods of time. 1875 - Henry Woodward and Matthew Evans are the first people to simultaneously penetrate a third man's ass. 1878 - Sir Joseph Wilson Swan (1828-1914), an English physicist, was the first person to convince his girlfriend to take it in the pooper. All prior men resorted to the oops technique. 1879 - Thomas Alva Edison invented a carbon filament that burned in his anal wall for forty hours. He continued to improved his invention until it could last for over 1,200 hours using a bamboo-derived ointment. 1899 - Nikola Tesla manned up in Colorado Springs, where he proved his theory of wireless putting it in the butt. By transmitting exremely low dickquencies through the ground with his Penis Transmitter, his peter could travel over 100 miles and slide on up into any unsuspecting ass whenever he willed it. 1906 - The General Electric Company were the first to patent a method of having anal sex.
The probability of a girl taking it in the ass in the first date, explained in a nice graph.

Some girls beg for buttsecks.

1922 - In Soviet Russia, Anal sex discovers you. 1925 - Anal sex discovered to lower pregnancy rates. 1945 - Adolf Hitler discovers that chugging cyanide and shooting himself in the ass is quite invigorating, even if you die later. This is considered the beginning of comedic anal sex. 1984 - Doctor Emmett Brown discovers "Space-age" anal sex by vigorously rubbing a flux capacitor between his butt cheeks at 88mph while Marty McFly masturbates near his face and whips him. 1991 - Philips invented a way to ram one's ass for 60,000 hours. This is the anal sex we know today. 1994 - Richard Simmons discovers "the hamster technique" and then is rushed to the hospital. 1996 Spacemoose declared, "It doesn't hurt, it's just like taking a big dump" 2001 Anal bombs are inserted resulting in the buttrape of WTC and major butthurt for both bible bashers and filthy sand dwelling a-rags. 2003 Tony Eveready accomplishes "nuts in da ass, dick in da pussy," and then proclaims "BOOYA" 2005 Erica engages in anal sex and loves it! She then follows this with some Ass to Mouth.

"Buttsex" is also the name of a coffee based shooter.
  • 2 fl oz Espresso (preferred) or strong black coffee
  • 1 fl oz Vodka
  • 1 fl oz Triple sec
  • 1/3 fl oz lemon or lime juice
Mixing instructions: Start with the coffee, preferably espresso. Add in the vodka, triple sec and lemon juice and stir. Top with whipped cream.


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