Dude... you seriously need a mic and some mixing software... And a lot of practice cuz, you can't make it more obvious that you're reading your rhymes. I can't understand what you're saying but I'm sure it'll be good once you develop your flow and actually record a track. Get yourself a blue Snowball mic and depending on what type of computer you use. get GarageBand or audacity...they are the simplest ways On learning how to record n mix music.
Come on everybody...what happened to the days where we actually used to critique each others work and material to help each other elevate one anothers sound... i know that's how we improved cause we used to get the shit critiqued out of our music but all for the greater purpose of becoming better emcees/musicians.