i remember one time at the strip club, me and a bunch of my boys went to this one joint, because one of my boys girlfriends had just started working there and he wanted to see her in action and let us all look at her titties and pussy i guess, who knows.
anyways, we're there chilling, drinking, flirting with the ho's, and his girl is on stage and she just DOES NOT know what the fuck she's doing. this is her first time dancing i guess and it is embarrassing. anyways, we're just ignoring her, and pretty much everyone else is too, but these big fat businessmen looking motherfuckers that are seated directly in front of her are smoking big fat cigars and blowing their smoke right at her, laughing and shit, haha.
anyways, she tries one of those 'bend over backwards and shake your titties' moves and her mouth is kind of open and shit.
one of the big wigs, reaches over and thumps his cigar ash right into her open mouth. BLAU!
one of the funniest shits i ever saw. she falls over, coughing and spitting and cussing and the entire place is just roaring with laughter. a bouncer gets up onstage, escorts her off to the back, where the manager told her to pack her shit and leave. my buddy was livid, they kicked his ass out too. i guess the cigar dudes were high-rollers or some shit, either that or she was such a fuckin embarrasment they had to shitcan her
regardless, i lol'd
i got a bunch of stories, but they're from when i was like 19, 20...not like 40.
i learned from the mistakes of spending all my dough on stupid skanks who just pretended to like my gumdrop shaped head, and i moved on to having stupid skanks spend money on me for the next 5 years.
although i gotta admit things have come full circle because now i'm married and give all my money away again...to my MAIN SQUEEZE