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Old 06-29-2005, 09:04 AM   #1
arcane
separatin game from truth
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Central Canada
Age: 31
Posts: 399
Rep Power: 12
arcane grasshopper
Default What the hell should I do?

I'm interested to get feedback in an anonymous setting about this: all my friends and people close to me will have a biased opinion, so I'd like to hear what people here have to say.

My girlfriend of about 6 months and I had a great relationship (literally almost no problems) until a couple of weeks ago she just brushed me off a couple of times for no reason. I eventually got it out of her that she's basically scared to commit to a long-term relationship. That's fucked up right? - normally it's the guy who goes through that shit. I went through it in a different relationship once before and now I'm on the opposite end.

Anyway, she's very adamant that she loves me, but that she needs time (without breaking up with me) and space to be with her friends and figure things out for herself. You're probably thinking that I came on too strong and smothered her, but it's really not like that. She just all of a sudden pulled back when things were going really well.

I promised to be patient while she sorts this out, and we'll hang out whenever she feels like it - yeah, that's probably a chump move, but I honestly think she has good intentions and it's worth it to me to give it a chance.

My question is: how patient would you be if you knew you could have your best relationship ever, just by enduring these conditions?:

What you have to put up with:

-She doesn't call you unless you call her first
-She'll spend basically one day per week with you
-She gets your hopes up and lets you down on a daily basis
-She seems unresponsive in casual conversation
-She tells you that the situation is stressing her out (even though she caused it)

What's keeping you in it:

-When you spend solid time together, she's really sincere and open
-She thanks you for being patient with her
-She's convinced that this is just a phase that will pass
-She says you're "the guy of her dreams"
-She acknowledges that I've been nothing but good to her

By the way, take the following at face value: she feels bad for putting me through this, and that it's definitely not about another guy.

Nice guys finish last, I fucking swear it.
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Free from the mold, breaking the distance/
A cause to face fears fraught with aching persistence...

-Arcane

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