once upon a time in shaolin - buy the book now!
Page 14 of 24 FirstFirst ... 411121314151617 ... LastLast
Results 196 to 210 of 351

Thread: Choose your own Wu-Tang Corp adventure

  1. #196


    The cartel is full of villainous scum. You fit right in. You are quickly elevated to capo, due to your brash ability to kill anyone in broad daylight.
    You become an underground legend. You are called La Racha. (The streak) You have reached a height your puny mind could never fathom, way beyond any bullshit underground rap group searching for fruitless stardom.
    You are the man. So now what?

    Time to be an even bigger man. Time to go after the boss.
    Tiempo para limpiar mi arma de fuego.
    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 04:29 PM.

  2. #197


    You have selected PANIC NUCCA, which happens to be a secret world.
    This page, like the warp zones in Super Mario Brothers, can transport you far into the story so you don't have to trudge through this mundane nonsense.

    Which pipe you want?

    ACT I Climax
    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 04:52 PM.

  3. #198

  4. #199


    Really? I mean, he really is the nobody of the two. Surely this won't be exciting.
    Are you really sure you want to play as this greasy shitheal?


    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 05:21 PM.

  5. #200

  6. #201


    It is months since you last saw Skampoe, and you wonder whether he'll even remember you, because your concepts of long term memory and how the human brain thinks are limited to the thoughts in your own head.
    I mean, this is what you remember Skampoe looking like after 6 months.

    You go to the old stomping grounds, but Skampoe isn't there. His fat disguting slob of a wife tells you he's recording today, and that you'll have to come back tomorrow to see him.
    This won't do. You shake the shit outta that fat bitch until she tells you where he's recording.

    What do you do about Skampoe's wife?

    Do you

    Tie her up, she knows too much, and will blab to Skampoe before you have a chance to explain yourself.
    Kill the bitch, cover it up, all that jazz. Skampoe will never know.
    Consult Rick Asley
    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 04:30 PM.

  7. #202


    You wake up and the calendar says February 2nd.
    You are awakened by a radio alarm, which your roommate jokingly set on an oldies station, days before.
    The sweet melody of Sunny and Cher blasting in the background enrages you.
    The skies are cloudy, while a bustling crowd rapes a woman outside in broad daylight.
    "Typical", you think. "They ain't even ask me to join."
    You start to get deja vu, even though you think it's a feminine product.
    "I've done this before. Over and over.", you mutter to yourself.
    That's when you realize that nothing ever changes.
    You are living the same day over and over again.
    Furiosity and despondency overcome you.
    You remember that Skampoe is dead, but you don't know why.
    You are all alone.

    Do you

    Smoke some formaldehyde
    Kill yourself
    Go to bed
    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 02:49 PM.

  8. #203

  9. #204


    No time like the present to get dusted, you think. Besides, I need all the confidence and strength I can to prove my worth. You pull out a honey dip you'd been saving and spark up.
    Suddenly, without warning the floor starts to shake beneath your feet. "Am I dreaming?," you think, just as the ceiling collapses on Skampoe in the other room, crushing him to death.
    "NOOOOOOOOOO!! Not my meal ticket!!!" You scream, as the building collapses all around you.
    When it is all over, you survive without a scratch, but your partner, cousin and lover, is now gone.

    What do you do?

    Think about the future.
    I just had a fucking building collapse on me. All I want now is PCP.
    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 04:30 PM.

  10. #205

  11. #206

  12. #207


    Fuck it, wouldn't be the first time you interacted with Skampoe's undigested food.
    Startin' to kick in...need some mood music

    choose video.


    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 04:31 PM.

  13. #208

  14. #209


    You have just killed your cousin and best friend, so you figure it's time to high-tail it out of the country.
    You easily get over the border to Mexico, as the border guards can't wait to see a darky get the fuck out of America.
    When you reach Tijuana you sell your car for 10,000 pesos, figuring you got an awesome deal.
    With all the scum and crime going on all around you, you feel right at home. After 4 hours, your riches are gone.
    You need a job.

    Hey, I'm a rapper right?
    See what the cartel is up to.
    Last edited by beautifulcock; 02-17-2013 at 04:31 PM.

  15. #210

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts