A new Mayan calender was announced this morning at the Calendar Makers Association annual meeting. Ancestor elders from the Mayan tribes met to discuss details on the new calender. Called on by all the apocalyptic movies and panic over the end of the world, or to dispel rumors of a widespread change of "universal" consciousness, the elders addressed the reason why the calender ended so abruptly.
"Are ancestors just ran out of room on the stone slab." Said one elder.
"It wasn't convenient to have many stone slabs hanging on your walls." Said another elder.
When asked about the rumors of a change in spirituality and universal consciousness one elder said:
"Universal what? Fat people will be fat people. Skinny people will be skinny. White people white, black people black, purple people purple. There's nothing new under the Sun."
The new calender is said to go even farther beyond that of the original calendar so that you won't have to buy a new one for another 100,000 years. The calendar will be released in a new traditional marble format along with several digital formats including an app for iPod touch. It will also feature "The Hotties of Central America" a slide show for each month that displays the winner of "The Hotties of Central America Calender Contest." Both Male and Female versions are planned. The calender will be updated monthly using "Atomic Clock Radio Technology" downloading updates from satellites or by using a wi-fi internet connection.
In response to the question of whether the world was going to end. One elder siad:
"As long as we're making calenders, we can guarantee the world will not end or you get your money back."