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Thread: Do yall think i can take this further

  1. #16
    Banned Dokuro's Avatar
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    bite me and um its my grammar an spelling i need work at

  2. #17
    Banned Dokuro's Avatar
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    oh and take a quick look at what i said about Immortal technique it was a critique

    i was talking about how he used the trick to make people think his vocab is greater then it really is "the secrets of suffixes"

    ism always rhymes with ism regardless of the word

  3. #18
    Lyrical Toilet Paper Locust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louis Cypher View Post
    oh and take a quick look at what i said about Immortal technique it was a critique

    i was talking about how he used the trick to make people think his vocab is greater then it really is "the secrets of suffixes"

    ism always rhymes with ism regardless of the word
    hey man nice to hear this, good to know people dont only care about the flow. i am actually a very skilled writer. I have been writing lyrics since i was little, but thats the thing i was only writing lyrics, not working on my voice or flow. Up until the start of this year ive been making lots of tracks soley focusing on the flow, because im already at a certain level with writing lyrcs.. each verse i wrote takes literally 20 minutes of my time, but i put hours into developing the flow. hopefully i can find a balance soon.
    thanks for peeping this and listening to it carefully, peace!!

  4. #19
    Non Ignorants Eckankar check two's Avatar
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    Yeah, lay off the word swag and don't say real talk every few minutes like some others do
    Quote Originally Posted by CharlesJones View Post
    I like the fat black man on House Of Payne and he's very funny.





  5. #20
    Lyrical Toilet Paper Locust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cutn' heads View Post
    invest in a proper mic. you got a creative flow some nice wordplay. if you really want people to listen it has to sound appealing.
    thanks man, i think i have problems mixing, im using a beat making program and its harder to edit the vocals with the limited effects. if u know a good program i can download lemme know.. peace!

    Quote Originally Posted by food for thought View Post
    this is not bad at all man.

    i think your flow is dope and i like how you rhyme

    this song, the lyrics wasnt bad at all. it fit the theme pretty well and it turned out to be a nice song


    the only thing i can say is that the track was a little long. I would have made it a little shorter so as to not lose people
    thanks homie, means a lot. appreciate you taking the time to give me critique and listen to the whole song. i will definetely take into all of your words of advkce. and the positive comments you gave to me i will take into my confidence in making music. everytime i get a hater i will remember that that nigga food for thought knows im dope, and i will strike right back. i hope that you will remember my name as an artist and when you see me on tv with tyler the creator you will know that i started here getting this compliment. i will inform you if i have any new music and i hope that we can continue this form of sharing and direct feedback. keep up the good commenting.

    oh yeah btw if i want to make the track shorter what would you recommend taking out, the start with the harold and kumar or the end?

  6. #21
    Lyrical Toilet Paper Locust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by check two View Post
    Yeah, lay off the word swag and don't say real talk every few minutes like some others do
    you mean dumb it down a bit rap about everyday shit?

  7. #22
    Non Ignorants Eckankar check two's Avatar
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    How is it dumbing it down by not saying the word swag? That's like the most common stupid word that generic rappers and other wierdos are saying nowadays. I wasn't implying that you shouldn't be real, I just meant you don't have to say 'real talk' after every sentence, like some others do at the forum.
    Quote Originally Posted by CharlesJones View Post
    I like the fat black man on House Of Payne and he's very funny.





  8. #23
    Dr. Rosenpenis JASPER's Avatar
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    Stop stretching words and make that annoying voice when you do that.
    "I hate them and I wish death among them!" - Mahatma Gandhi

  9. #24
    Lyrical Toilet Paper Locust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by check two View Post
    How is it dumbing it down by not saying the word swag? That's like the most common stupid word that generic rappers and other wierdos are saying nowadays. I wasn't implying that you shouldn't be real, I just meant you don't have to say 'real talk' after every sentence, like some others do at the forum.
    yo man you mad?

    nah but i still dont know what u refering too by real talk. i wasnt talking about swag btw i understand u dont like the word lmao

  10. #25
    Non Ignorants Eckankar check two's Avatar
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    Are you related to Drunken Monk?
    Quote Originally Posted by CharlesJones View Post
    I like the fat black man on House Of Payne and he's very funny.





  11. #26

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    If you loved to make music do it, who gives a fuck what any of us think. That being said the song cool, keep at it. I think I listened to a song or two of yours in the Booth and they were good too.
    Impermanence on this plane of reality/where criminality, brutality freely dwell/ Truth is a casualty in this hell/ Karma reins with divine causality, then its swell--StrangeLoveSurreal


  12. #27

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    you need to try and sound blacker. real talk.

  13. #28
    Lyrical Toilet Paper Locust's Avatar
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    im doing my best man^

    aight thanks for comments guys, and i dont really give a fuck if someone thinks i can make it, i just want some views on my video lol. much love corp fam

  14. #29
    Gen Chat Bully Uncle Steezo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cutn' heads View Post
    you need to try and sound blacker. real talk.
    hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

  15. #30
    Anglophile Dooch's Avatar
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    ur fucking white???



    jesus....
    Look eye, always look eye.

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