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View Poll Results: Which cow system would you choose?

Voters
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  • SOCIALISM

    0 0%
  • COMMUNISM

    0 0%
  • FASCISM

    0 0%
  • NAZISM

    0 0%
  • BUREAUCRATISM

    0 0%
  • TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

    0 0%
  • ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

    0 0%
  • SURREALISM

    2 50.00%
  • AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • A GREEK CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • A FRENCH CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • A JAPANESE CORPORATION

    1 25.00%
  • AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • A SWISS CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • A CHINESE CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • AN INDIAN CORPORATION

    1 25.00%
  • A BRITISH CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • AN IRAQI CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • AN IRAQI CORPORATION

    0 0%
  • A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

    0 0%
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Which Cow system would you choose?

  1. #1
    Ridin' On Trichomes soul controller's Avatar
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    Default Which Cow system would you choose?

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
    throws the milk away

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy
    grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
    your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
    for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to
    produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
    the cow has dropped dead.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
    dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
    You still only have two cows.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
    cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
    twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
    market it worldwide.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows,
    but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...

  2. #2
    Dr. Rosenpenis JASPER's Avatar
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    Default

    I rather smoke weed.
    "I hate them and I wish death among them!" - Mahatma Gandhi

  3. #3
    Be Seeing You hashashin's Avatar
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    great thread, let me take some time to weigh up the pros and cons of all cow systems before I give a very serious answer

  4. #4
    Ridin' On Trichomes soul controller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JASPER View Post
    I rather smoke weed.

    im rolling a head now, waiting for hash to come back with a sirius answer

  5. #5
    Be Seeing You hashashin's Avatar
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    I may be a while, I suggest holding your breath

  6. #6
    Gen Chat Bully Uncle Steezo's Avatar
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    i voted for giraffes. #daliflow

  7. #7
    Ridin' On Trichomes soul controller's Avatar
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    ^^ most sensible answer

  8. #8
    No artificial sleazy
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    Japanese

  9. #9
    Ridin' On Trichomes soul controller's Avatar
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    lulz, the description makes sense as to why you would choose such a system

    I'll be predictable and just go for Indian system,
    While i find a gf who lactates..

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