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Thread: I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

  1. #1
    -Diamond in the Rough- 3rdEyeVizion's Avatar
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    Default I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

    I be the doc in the worst warzone like in MASH
    operate lyrics so well I could gut off one eyelash
    fuck those who ain't nothin but they stash
    how many fingers?! yeah my middlefinger's what I flash
    y'all go get ya confidence by sniffin and puffin them white lines and hash
    dash off ya line
    time is money and money is cash
    fast life but ya mind and body will clash
    it won't last long
    but I'ma continue to go on
    medicine for ya sickness is born
    on the side the sun rise at dawn
    from outta flower there came a thorn
    with deadly poison to kill those who hold it wrong
    or cut ya arm open when u walk by
    my aka Hawkeye
    known as the man with sharp knifes that talk fly

  2. #2
    FRESH FISH the messiah's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

    its pretty ill, elevate and ur words will be a threat for sho,

    peace
    "ya'll niggas can't be serious, i was nice before ice, before christ, before the the words let there be light, and the light took over the night, i was born wit the mic, lord of the mic before all plant and animal life, took this rap shit to new heights before the wright brothers took flight, before dogfightin' and aerial strikes, before mc's picked up pens and started to write" - Canibus

  3. #3
    Veteran Member PsYkOsUs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

    you have a long way to go... it was simple and borin' at best... honest opinion from a certified asshole... but if you feel you got talent, you won't let someone like me get to you, and maybe you'll elevate... just do it quick, 'cause there's a lot of 14 and 15 year olds that would violently rape you...

    PEACE

    PSY

    Those who have something to fall back on, always do.

  4. #4
    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

    You have a decent style, simple but you can improve on you lyrical content. Good rhyme work singular but still flowed. Work on what you want to portray, i suppose you were busting??

    Peace
    PS: Continue posting

  5. #5
    -Diamond in the Rough- 3rdEyeVizion's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a rookie at this, but tell me what you think

    thanx for the feed back.

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