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Thread: *****AcidPhosphates Acidic Rhymes*****

  1. #1
    Dr. Saunders AcidPhosphate69's Avatar
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    Default *****AcidPhosphates Acidic Rhymes*****

    Gotcha in critical condition, about analytical missions, digital petition to remove the comission, decision about to become the incision into the heart of darkness, the start of sharpness, land locked Lochness with deadly aim, as soon as I came the game changed, nothin' will eva be the same, it's a shame for shamanistic , ballistic, sick shit that comes twisted like a cyclone, my mind's edge cuts you to the bone, streets is my home, where it's a war of clones, bullets like stones skip across the water of peace, a crease in a cease-fire by cats who be livewire, full of desire, murder for hire, the town crier, cryin', tellin' tales of treacherous tryin' and terrible dyin', spyin' like a secret agent 007, eleven eleven is twenty-two send ya to Heaven, heathen I'm neva leavin' even if I contract a disease and fall down bleedin', I'll continue to blaze trees where-ever I please until I'm deceased, oh...she's a breeze, a ho on her knees, a distraction from the real action, packin' my method of attackin' I'm never slackin', I remember way back when I thought this neva would happen, so I chose rappin' over cappin' or slappin', slangin', bangin' or head-rangin', no shame in shakin' when I came in, I'm not blamin' you for flamin' at me, I'd the same if my girl was wavin' at me, cravin' that sheek, sleek cat with the sweet , sly speech, you within my reach, you a beach that doesn't deserve the sea, understand what I mean? get off my scene bitch

    Remember, that shit is from like 2 years ago and I did it when I should have been taking notes

  2. #2

    Default Re: I wrote this a while ago when I was still in school

    its accutally good, i was feeling it. 9/10

    Tables Turn..Which Made it Worse, Engaged N' Searched..
    for a Way ta' Learn, how ta Take tha' Curse of the Weight of Earth
    Incase it Curved, and Strained my Nervous System..
    Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom

  3. #3
    BIG OPINION, BIGGER LOAD TSA's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wrote this a while ago when I was still in school

    that was an insane in flame rhymes thats on fire

  4. #4
    Dr. Saunders AcidPhosphate69's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wrote this a while ago when I was still in school

    Yo, thanks for the feedback.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member PsYkOsUs's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wrote this a while ago when I was still in school

    Quote Originally Posted by ThaShaolinAssassin
    that was an insane in flame rhymes thats on fire
    LOL, that comment didn't make the least bit of sense...

    decent verse, it'd read better if it wasn't in paragraph form...

    PEACE

    PSY

    Those who have something to fall back on, always do.

  6. #6
    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wrote this a while ago when I was still in school

    Quote Originally Posted by AcidPhosphate69
    Remember, that shit is from like 2 years ago and I did it when I should have been taking notes
    I thought you had written it yesterday, at school. Which needed to be questioned that you should have been concerntrating with the lessons. Anyway it was cool the verse, although at the beginning it seemed a bit shallow in the lyrical content. But it was alright, i suppose you were busting.

    Peace

  7. #7

    Default Re: I wrote this a while ago when I was still in school

    "People Get Away With Murder, Like When Kids Think Their Words Rhyme Cause Of The Suffix"
    - Jakki Da Motormouth

  8. #8
    Dr. Saunders AcidPhosphate69's Avatar
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    Default My Ex, Stacy.

    I wrote this back when I was really into the whole, "I want holes in my brain" state of my life, which was about a year ago. The flow is weird on this one. Just read it like you're reading a book.

    Damn, I'm taken...spacin'...try retracin' the steps I took last night. Am I alright? Why is my nose broken....did I get into a fight? Might as well settle down before I'm dead in the ground. Back then? I was better than now. Perpetual frown whenever I come down. I've smoked coke AND crack...damn, imagine that. Throwin' powder in a bowl is where it's at. Snorting and contorting my ways. I rolled face for 8 days straight. Then I took a day break then back on with that disco cake. Wake and bake, Always rooms for shrooms but, here we all call them booms. I've seen too many friends laid in tombs. Took it too far staight to their dooms. I've taken so many pills I can't remember with what they're filled. Morphine seemed like a blast...but fuck heroin...that shit will last. Stick to my psychology, monkey on my back with no apology. I almost died, got hit by a car while I was on them yellow torches. My brain is fried, so far gone and so hot off ex my footprint scorches. I was wheelin' and dealin' to anybody who'd buy the feelin'. it was appealin' seein' my customers reelin' from quality rolls. that is until my greed got outta control. I let my boy's lil' bro get a hold of one of those yellows. it wasn't even mellow, hello...this little kid is freakin' out...tweakin' out about how he thinks he's gonna die, damn dog...i think i'm gonna cry. this is my little man right here, about to kick the can right here. shit dude, this rhyme is too deep...so now, i'm just gonna creep to sleep. Peace.

  9. #9
    FRESH FISH the messiah's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Ex, Stacy.

    thats some crazy shit kid, were u really that fucked up? aside from the bad expirence it was an ill drop...peace and 1
    "ya'll niggas can't be serious, i was nice before ice, before christ, before the the words let there be light, and the light took over the night, i was born wit the mic, lord of the mic before all plant and animal life, took this rap shit to new heights before the wright brothers took flight, before dogfightin' and aerial strikes, before mc's picked up pens and started to write" - Canibus

  10. #10
    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Ex, Stacy.

    Quite intricate, don't inform others on how they should read it (let them pick the flow). But the verse has a lifestyle that it portrays which is quite vivid and well place. Nice verse, eratic just as the lifestyle you wrote may seem. I will not comment on the flow, cause the lifestyle can create such a mixture of events (and distorted). I have not read alot of verses such as this one. Especially the content. Take care!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Peace

  11. #11
    Dr. Saunders AcidPhosphate69's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Ex, Stacy.

    Yo' seriously thanks for the feedback. Yeah, shit was fucked then but I dunno, life is better now. That little kid I was talking about, he's doing good now but seriously, that little kid was fucked. He's like 4" flat, 14 years old and I've seen this kid do some crazy shit. It's fucked up cuz the kids he hung out with were all of us at our worst times. Those 8 days I rolled, he was tagging along with me the whole time. On the real, I got mad love for that little dude cuz he's been there for the kind of shit no little kid should be around.

  12. #12
    the illuminated orator
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    Default Re: My Ex, Stacy.

    ...interesting script... drugs are bad... i used to do what you did in that rhyme but i dropped it... the flow is real hot at points but like a story book at others... the imagery was there... you need to write in bar format though... not much vocab beyond the drug slang... a wasted line about mushrooms being called booms i felt... all drugs stick to your psychology... and where is the drug you got your name sake from... keep scripting man...

  13. #13

    Default Re: My Ex, Stacy.

    Nice

  14. #14
    Dr. Saunders AcidPhosphate69's Avatar
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    Default Caught Up

    wrote this last night...got some shit on my mind i needed to get out

    mad strife around me, bad life surrounds me
    astounds me to see, that i can try but never succeed
    evil deeds done, come sow the seeds of fun
    straight up wile out, but ya last mile's out
    luck is runnin' down, fuck...i'm comin' down
    comin' round to the reality, of my criminal individuality
    caught up with a rep, cops hot on my step
    crept up cruisers, kept watch on users
    abusers, losers, and bruisers
    i got nothin' to show, nowhere to go
    so, i'm wishin' that this shit will just blow
    over and i can escape, this sobering fate
    what i worked to create, is about to disintigrate
    i hate what i've become, not so young and still dumb
    from shit called a town, pit-falls abound
    hearin' sirens sound, fearin' po-nines around
    i get away to scrape by another day
    either way, this shit isn't okay
    what will i say please, how will i stay free
    god, save me...i crave thee to raise me
    up from the grit and grime, to a more innocent time
    how can i survive when fives ride, must hide
    buy a minute, caught up...stuck in it
    called a game but you'll never win it
    once you begin it, you'll never finish
    diminished hope, failed ways to cope
    light at the end of the tunnel? nope
    i'm coked, stoked...choked by the rope
    strung up, hung up, caught up and legally shot up

  15. #15
    Dr. Saunders AcidPhosphate69's Avatar
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    Default Get Burned Wit Acid Pee

    Alright, here goes nothing...

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