once upon a time in shaolin - buy the book now!
Page 61 of 63 FirstFirst ... 1151585960616263 LastLast
Results 901 to 915 of 938

Thread: Bigot Hitman's Book

  1. #901
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChristO View Post
    ...and so is the depression, deep...but trues, that is what we're to build in...
    Yeah, i got diagnosed with Major depression in june, it started in may, and i recently got diagnosed with Social anxiety disorder, which is what caused every problem i have today pretty much cuz i've had it since alittle kid.

    I'm growing up so fast right now, over the past 4 months i've done alot more than build.
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  2. #902
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Hope starved

    I won't stand to fight
    This every single day
    I am giving in..to my shade

    Sleep on ice caked rocks
    Smile with bloody teeth
    The sinking ship is floating out of reach

    This is much too strong
    The double edge splits my head
    Life is much too wrong, as is death

    I'll never reach the sky
    My feet can't seem to touch the ground
    Dying in disguise of painless sound

    I never should have been
    The walking curse was born
    to spend its time in eyes of its storms

    Now I can't feel the point
    in living as forbidden weeds
    Every dirty glove grasps at me

    And who would want this mind
    Who could bare to try to change
    The truth bound tight in concrete chains

    Comfort me with trash
    Drown me in your foulest stream
    Let the blue moons pass, still here i'll be

    For me, i never asked
    Now why would I ever want
    Pictures without backs and without fronts

    I've lost all touch of me
    Hopes not to be seen
    My world druels in hunger, as i bleed
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  3. #903
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Blood stain

    Next steps become waking motivated
    to climb mental walls that
    Are made of fears forcing feet to fall back
    In my mind, i speak with alll that
    self defeats like
    Evolvling hairless in the coldest lands an'
    Still far from careless with the rarest hand in
    my game where, jokers are kings
    and Aces and two's have a one fall in between
    That can't find a slot in a full deck
    I'm that one,
    Who sits in sunken ships as the sunsets
    I'm loosing air, trying to escape through darkness
    frantically looking for ways out, as
    waves of doubt rock the boat an'
    I sink lower feeling as though i'm float'in
    A unnatural high of dying, fly'in out of my mind
    out of my focus as pain approaches
    Close'in the lense on my hopes which
    Represent my last defense
    Against a life of lifelessness in righteousness
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  4. #904
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Breaking A shell

    Razor sharp thoughts that go against
    eighteen year old grain,
    Dance on the stage of my brain
    Causing barely visible pains
    Allday everyday, it seems
    Nothing can get between
    My, soul and the ground to lift it
    Hours become days, seconds become minutes
    Dawns become dusks as God becomes trust
    in the last thread in a rope to break
    its the last light in a hopless fate
    A reason to hold on aproaches fake, status
    Looking into a mirror of
    Deep sadness with a face of focused hate
    How can the real me rise
    When the disorders in my mind collide
    To form a flipping double edge
    that rests its weight upon my head
    There's no easy way out of a maze with no walls
    Just empty space and, flashes of amazement
    From depths of problems in my history
    Measured through old memories
    Ressurected by daily expieriences
    Inducing fatalities of positive feelings
    That create fences with,
    Tops so far up they're out of sight
    They're out of mind, like a cloudy future
    I endlessly climb, sensing the urgency of
    running out of time...
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  5. #905
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Free Shadows

    Tied to train tracks, knowing that there's
    No trains expected
    I can't stop the fears as common feelings get ressurected
    I'm not collected, like a deck of cards
    Spread throughout two states
    With blended boarders so crossing isn't hard
    They are Anxiety and depression killing in unity
    Forming a off balance three man community
    Two are best friends, the other's mood
    Flocks south fast
    Trying to outlast lonely darkness the clouds cast
    Struggling to find himself in a land of shedded skins
    And skeletons from nobodys that died tryin to fit in
    Nothing was ever just right,
    Like a pack of racoons without the cover of dark nights
    Something essential restricting potential
    All past comforts of acceptance proved detrimental
    Blues bled through pencils and pens is
    the only way to see a path traveled clear
    or to be traveled,
    Now feeling delayed impacts of each gavel
    from each descision I chose with blurred vision
    Months of prision inside of me
    Shackled by personality and lack of variety
    In a conform together society
    Held in check by a yawn revealing lion teeth
    And to show your own is to be alone in a crowd
    Of outcasts who will not throw in the towel

    Free shadows unconnected to the actor's bow
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  6. #906
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Destryoing & building

    Critically restless but physically fatigued
    Mentally confused and sick
    I can barely stand as i refuse to sit
    and watch my conditions totally control
    the water flow to the roots of my soul
    Warm futures, i pursue in the cold
    As i leave my dead youth in the snow
    But sometimes one must relive his past
    Because often it fostered
    The current bent out of shape posture
    that makes ice sweat and water boil
    Leaves fall from above and rest upon dry soil
    Turning the lively lifeless gradually
    This will outcast a rose as a weed
    Showing no biased,
    Even if that fold has a seed
    As i scroll past a pleed, I pled in old memories
    In nights when deep pains rolled into me
    became unwrapped, setting off delayed traps
    Manufactured by actions i cannot take back
    They say don't say that
    I say, "i don't say, what you say don't say"
    "But i say what i feel"
    Because i'm incarcerated in shackles of steel
    Which are things that still haven't been solved
    as they've evolved into life long deals
    And freedom deals long life...
    But until then, the green remains the only wrong light
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  7. #907
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Landscape escape

    Old dried river beds, hollowed out trunks
    stretched leathery skin laces stained bones
    Skies go unseen, just blackness in different tones
    Holes with measurable depths of no means
    Forgotten colors of blues and greens
    Fires run free fueled by the evidence of death
    Which are ready to spread stronger, with a wrong step
    All in a ongoing sequence, long kept secret
    By a face in distress, words can't express the pain
    As he searches ashes for hope, he collects in shame
    Denial, a tactic used to protect the brain
    Just gave time for the archer to perfect his aim
    And now the clout is unwrapped, exposed to shots
    That go as punishment to who that gave what he got
    The strikes didn't leave him bloody, but internal scars
    That burn non stop as every day they're recharged
    At the sights of what's wanted, whats needed
    To make the ill-defeated captive, feel completed
    As his, will fades away and the flowers grow old
    TIme becomes a constant pressure, the hours don't fold
    He looses feelings quickly, from a power so cold
    It freezes tropics swiftly, with a strength to mislead
    the bold to points where their lives become dispensable
    ENding it all, in a last fall, becomes so sensible
    Love starved from lack of contact to feed off
    The stranded beings were found and lost by these thoughts
    Much more sicker than a wheeze with a weak cough
    Decapitating breezes left the tops of the trees caught
    In a self-defeating cycle, disconnecting mind from soul
    Flying in never evers, and cant's, trying to find a though
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  8. #908
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Who am I?

    So its built a bridge
    Between two lands i cannot roam
    And its patched a fence
    That keeps me from me
    Reflections can't show who i am
    I've been kept from me by sicknesses
    I've been kept from me by nature
    Loneliness lead me lost
    Being found by people, kept me lost
    Now I need that train
    Tie me to those tracks tight
    I won't attempt escape
    I'll be bound by skewed vision
    Fish don't swim in loose dirt
    Worms don't dig in deep water
    Counting wooden rings won't tell
    It won't tell how long i've grown ill
    Now I play with my mistakes as
    I cry with my mistakes
    I tie knots with what unties
    I grow fodder with what i've burned
    I melt glaciers with what freezes
    In hellos I wave good bye
    But to who I am one day i'll say
    Hello....with no goodbye
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  9. #909
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Elsewhere

    From bone to skin I'm frozen
    The heart is shattered broken
    Beyond a lively motion
    I'm not here

    Hung in jungle vines
    Aware of what's behind
    It sends chills up the spine
    I'm not here

    Prisoner of a demon
    Stealing all your reasons
    To stay another season
    I'm not here

    Half-dead, i'm lost and lonely
    Wondering where could home be?
    Who'd care enough to hold me
    I'm not here

    Why waste the time to find me
    You'd search death and blindly
    And with the perfect timing
    I'm not here

    The evils reign supreme now
    The ruthless don't seem wild
    As a 1 man double team I'll...
    not be here
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  10. #910
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Medication

    All this posed freedom, proves containment
    If my fate's young death, i don't want to change it
    No water's clear enough to show what's sunk
    No canyon's wide enough to ground my jump

    The spiked walking cane
    A white pill
    The straw that broke the back
    Seroquel
    The new, oldest snow
    A white pill
    The last stand and attacks
    Seroquel

    Leave all your joy outside the city's walls
    And suffer the side effects, of its cause
    The surface of your floors press across your ceilings
    A cost of this armor is the loss of feelings....

    The closed blinding blind
    A white pill
    The dams that shackled rivers
    Seroquel
    The empty wall-less maze
    A white pill
    Your ever cracking pillar
    Seroquel

    I don't want to sleep, just to awake lifeless
    The calm before the last storm is a understated crisis
    Nothing can stop me from bashing suicide's bell
    Except beliefs in god, and the threat of hell

    I need all my tears
    As i need all the smiles
    I want myself in my shoes
    When I walk another mile

    Give me back my pains
    Take this away!
    Give me back the rains
    Take this away!
    Last edited by Bigot Hitman; 10-16-2008 at 10:28 PM.
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  11. #911

    Default

    Good stuff as always bigot Hitman long time no hear from hope all is well peace.



    My evidence, my own testament, written on wood
    Twelve tribes layin at the head of corners in hoods
    Hell razah

  12. #912
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default

    Nothings good over here, but how u holdin up? IT seems every month i get hit with a brick, all of a sudden i'm Bipolar, From A-typical depression to Major depression, to finally Bipolar depression. THe diagnosis explains alot, but fuck, i'm struggling to finds reason to live now.
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  13. #913
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Here to leave

    The snow isn't cold
    The water's too dry
    Lies never told
    Keep truth alive

    Caves are too bright
    Puddles are too deep
    I'm waiting for light
    To put me asleep

    My soul's far from free
    My head's far from sane
    Reflections of me
    Are erupted from shame

    The bottom's too high
    The ceilings too low
    Tear you from me
    To help me explode

    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed

    Pointless blade, worthless
    Born to embrace doomsday

    Taken away from the blind
    One less star in the sky
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  14. #914
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default The only way out

    If i died right now, the sun would still rise
    A easy breathless death, a blessing in disguise

    Hope has walked away, sparking trails of flames

    In which I will not stray, to follow
    In which I cannot stay, to follow

    I won't survive the lonely days
    _______

    These friends can't always be, my reasons to breathe
    In everlasting pain, but I need them to leave

    So I can fade away, and die in depths of shame

    In which I will not lie, to escape
    In which I cannot try, to escape

    Who wouldn't embrace my demise?
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  15. #915
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Nails in the coffin

    There's something assuring my suicide
    And I'm coming to accept it
    Sometimes I wish the dad i never knew
    Would have went in protected

    I am one of god's lab rats
    I know he's watching to see if I make it
    I'd have a better chance If I were old,
    sick, and weak, crippled on a slave ship

    There's no such thing, as along run
    I remember a time when I thought I knew
    Who I was when I was young
    When I was young, I thought I knew the sizes of shoes

    As i fall, this time don't catch me
    I'm hungry for the end of it all
    And deaths call, is sounding like a blessing
    To the new born who could never crawl

    How long do i have to die before i'm just dead?
    How long do i have to live before i'm alive?
    Worlds full of wonders, aren't always wonderful
    This one's stolen my reasons to survive
    Last edited by Bigot Hitman; 10-28-2008 at 08:39 PM.
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •