once upon a time in shaolin - buy the book now!
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Evil Apocalypse (Long rhyme needin critism)

  1. #1

    Default Evil Apocalypse (Long rhyme needin critism)

    If you're a god then I must be Satan
    and I'll just be waitin for dis god that I'm hatin.
    Like Jason, I'll kill you while you're matin.
    Barge through your barrier and bash your brains in.
    Face it, the force aint wit cha. You don't seem to get da picture.
    I bet cha I'll get cha. I'll thrill ya and kill ya and still ya won't know what hit cha.
    You're tryna grab me so your family can escape
    but you can't get a good grasp when I shift shape.
    When my shape shifts...
    Watch da evil apocalypse eclipse and lift stiffs from crypts.
    If you insist to resist, you'll be dismissed in mist.
    With 666, reverse crucifix.
    Devilish tricks will break dis bitch like Twix.
    His skin rips in strips to use as hankerchiefs.
    Use da rest of da strips to wrap gifts for kids.
    Fry your flesh for crispy chips and use da blood for dips.
    By now your tryns guess how long I can keep up with this.
    You know your in a mix when your heartbeat skips.
    Loose lips sinks ships from da scripts Ras kicks.
    Now you stink like fish as I flow like liqs.(liquor)
    Too rough? Take sips as I dilute da mix (remix).
    Da Linda Blair Witch has bones to pick
    from faggots hidden in your closets.
    Bones are sharpest when cut by Razor's sharpness.
    I use da sharp tips to hit moving targets
    while doing backflips off of flying carpets,
    blind in darkness, dodgin shots from Charlie Brownson.
    * (Charlie Brown version of Charles Bronson)
    Here's more offense formed from my subconscious.
    Razor's compliments to boost your shattered confidence
    and add dominance to your lyrical incompetence.
    If raps were colleges I'll have ATTACKademic scholarships.
    If words were pictures these are psychodelic collages.
    If trees grew knowledge, My mind blooms forests
    Roots are da largest, each used as huge garages
    with cars that shoot for stars or where God is, whichevers farthest.
    Like Zathuras, homes hit hardest. It's where da heart is.
    I am starving. I'm Goldilocks. You're porridge but I eat da hottest
    Warn your fathers. "Hell's upon us! War is on us!"
    Lost without compass? Brought to da hall of carnage (carnegie hall).
    Brought you garments to show your know your daughter's tarnished.
    More slaves than Honest. More graves accomplished.
    More predictions than 'Damus with nonfictional horrors.
    Even Jack Bauer couldn't go 16 blocks in 24 hours.
    Even if Quade was your father. You won't be saved da Day before Tomorrow.
    I'm my own father. Confused as hell. Aren't ya?
    I'm an entity possessing me. Call it Karma.
    All death will be is destiny presentin me. Look pa no collar.
    Yes, end this thing called flesh as my bondage.
    Now I'm caressing da breast of some whench. More fondling.
    I'm entering da nest of da mom you were born in.
    Then exiting as da best m.c. called Ras again.
    Recycling da soul into bods again.
    Reincarnating. Da test is to guess who's pod I'm in.
    But then again, I guess I failed to mention,
    all this tension can't be contained in just skin.
    Some of me will exist in da elements called Wind,
    Earth, Water, Fire. What else should I get in?
    Feelings, thoughts, time, not just objects,
    small lonely animals, such as tomcats.
    Neutering myself to prepare for combat.
    Grew a human sized dick to fuck your mom's ass
    with bigger spikes in it to pull her lungs out.
    Air's unfresh. I'm gonna pollute your son now.
    Kaplow!! Your numb now because of that one doubt.
    Skull is empty except for that dick in your mouth.
    Not what I meant by "Go blow your brains out."
    Pulled your lips teeth and tongue out. Don't give me no gum now.
    Your rhymin's done now. You sound like a dumb cow
    with one sound. Don't give up now. We only went one round.
    Get up now. I didn't even swing and you've gone down.
    If I weighed one pound. I'd hold more weight than the earth's ground.
    Time to form a new entity and swarm on supremacy. Kill their first child.
    Here's more to remember me, The Storm of the Century. This is a cursed style.
    The question's how... can I beat you if no words come out?
    .......... ........ ........ .......... ........... ......... .......
    I know it's foul. Call it poultry poetry. Wow.
    Too versatile, Attack you with your own rhymes by twistin your words around

  2. #2


    hmm you are right this was very long...anyway...i liked the beggining better then the middle or the ending...i think in future pieces there is no need to make a piece this lengthy ..however..this piece was above avrage IMO. you have a real knack for chooseing ur words. stay up keep blessin

    Tables Turn..Which Made it Worse, Engaged N' Searched..
    for a Way ta' Learn, how ta Take tha' Curse of the Weight of Earth
    Incase it Curved, and Strained my Nervous System..
    Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom

    Take ya life plus ya afterlife -Bloodshed

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts