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Thread: Time Machine

  1. #1
    Da Butcher hollywoodrealty's Avatar
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    Default Time Machine

    sacrifice the sacrificial sacraments
    like a wall street killing spree, shreading up documents
    dig under the pavement to find our ancestors strapped in transenders
    like aliens, same gender, nobody's got the answers
    coffin's are time machines, they beam into galaxy's
    A higher being gave them amnesty for their travesty
    its a lost paradox considered unorthodox
    where u can freeze time and stop the clocks tic toc
    a parrellel universe where everythings been rehearsed
    they do what we do but they do it in reverse
    age backwards, born at 80, die a baby, considered a hero
    wombs are frozen in at tempatures below sub zero
    whatever is our destiny, there's no cancelling, u cant void it
    there's no escaping your fate, u cant avoid it
    who destroyed the 1st earth and killed the dinasaurs
    im battling and examining, damn my eyes are sore
    Last edited by hollywoodrealty; 02-08-2007 at 08:14 AM.
    but see i gotta get paid fully... whether its truthfully or untruthfully.
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654

  2. #2
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
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    Good creativity, short verses like these are good cuz your more likely to stay on topic. Nice imgination and new concepts on that, and the flow was never uneven throughout. No metaphors or similes, which is ok for this type of short piece. No multies cept for the closer, which is cool but i would of mixed a couple in their to make it sound smoother. 8/10
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  3. #3
    Da Butcher hollywoodrealty's Avatar
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    yo thanks for the comments, ya i was trying to stay on focus with the subject, i was high and up late writing this shit, thanks for the comments, peace
    but see i gotta get paid fully... whether its truthfully or untruthfully.
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654

  4. #4

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    woo da butcher is back !!!! sup man! diggin this!
    feelin da begging alot! really captivates ya read into staying entertained and wanting to acutally read it. rather then the reader feelling like he is forceing himself to read it. very nice potrayed. stay up keep blessin

    Tables Turn..Which Made it Worse, Engaged N' Searched..
    for a Way ta' Learn, how ta Take tha' Curse of the Weight of Earth
    Incase it Curved, and Strained my Nervous System..
    Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom


    Take ya life plus ya afterlife -Bloodshed

  5. #5
    The ABBOTT noel411's Avatar
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    Not bad. A few interesting concepts in there. It read smoothly. Maybe a subject that could have used a little more depth and detail, but not bad for a quick drop.


    THE LORD noel411 HAS A NEW ALBUM OUT!!! Czech it out here...

    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...80#post2575080

    Suck this drunk alcohol dick.

  6. #6
    Da Butcher hollywoodrealty's Avatar
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    yo white and dangerous, thanks for stoppen by and showing love, ya i never really went anywhere, i have just been working on audio lately, i didnt want to let all thsoe rhymes i wrote go to waste so ive slowly peiced them together into over 20 tracks on my soundclick page, give it a listen sometimes, thanks for droppen feedback, peace.......

    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654
    but see i gotta get paid fully... whether its truthfully or untruthfully.
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654

  7. #7
    Da Butcher hollywoodrealty's Avatar
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    yo noel411, thanks for droppen me some feedback, u are considered one of the best on this site so its an honor to get some nice comments from u, thanks and peace
    but see i gotta get paid fully... whether its truthfully or untruthfully.
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654

  8. #8

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    Tight i like your style, the way you put your lines together's real original!



    My evidence, my own testament, written on wood
    Twelve tribes layin at the head of corners in hoods
    Hell razah

  9. #9
    Anglophile Dooch's Avatar
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    a parrellel universe where everythings been rehearsed
    they do what we do but they do it in reverse

    Love this line....nicely done, sometimes with concept raps, we wanna cram so much shit in and it flows shitty, but u did a nice job.

  10. #10
    Da Butcher hollywoodrealty's Avatar
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    yo jts, thanks for reading this piece, keep your eyes peeled for more of this type of shit, thanks for droppen feedback, peace
    but see i gotta get paid fully... whether its truthfully or untruthfully.
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654

  11. #11
    Da Butcher hollywoodrealty's Avatar
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    yo nicky tooch, thanks for peepen this verse, ya i was loving that line also, i try not to kill a concept song, usually i dont even set out to make it that way, i just look for a good opening line and then let my mind put it together from there, thanks for checken out this page, peace
    but see i gotta get paid fully... whether its truthfully or untruthfully.
    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=401654

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