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Thread: Behind These Bars

  1. #1

    Default Behind These Bars

    Aight.. this might take a bit of explaining.. The concept is being imprisoned.. Mentally, Emotionally, and finally Physically.

    Mentally, I'm imprisoned, because I feel I'm locked up with having to write rhymes.. Sometimes, I honestly get the feeling that all I'm good for is music.. (And in music, you call lines.. bars)

    Emotionally, it's the story of a drunk, who feels like he can't get through the emotional parts of his life, without some drank in him.. He's locked up in that sense, to booze.. (You drink, at bars)

    Physically, it's loosely based on my father.. Story of a man trying to support his family, and gets locked up because of it.. and now realizes that he can't help his family, even moreso then when they were broke.. This verse was the least complex, but meant the most to me.. It's still very nicely written, IMO.. (Also, in prison, you're behind, bars)


    VERSE ONE:
    It seems I'm just gettin' sicker every MOMENT-I-WASTE
    Tryna grab HOLD-IN-THE-RACE, it ain't SLOWIN'-ITS-PACE
    All I'm tryna do is blow up, shit'll EXPLODE-IN-MY-FACE
    For NO-ONE-IT-WAITS, and sometimes, the pressure MOTIVATES
    But, I'm tryna shoulder the load, carry every BOULDER-IT-TAKES
    'Til my, knees'll buckle and my SHOULDERS'LL-BREAK
    I'm just tryna live a good life, not KNOWIN'-MY-FATE
    Whether I'll, SMOLDER-WITH-SNAKES or reach the HOLIEST-GATES
    The game has got me on a leash, and it'll SHORTEN-THE-CHAIN
    And every time I'm fuckin' up, it helps the TORTURE-SUSTAIN
    I'm my own worse critic, "Man, that CHORUS-IS-LAME"
    People love Hov, they're never goin' SUPPORT-YOU-THE-SAME"
    I ain't even greedy, I just hope the FORTUNE-IS-GAINED
    But I ain't lookin' for the glamour or a PORTION-OF-FAME
    I just hope I got the cash to fix the LEAKS-IN-THE-ROOF
    Hopefully, I'ma sell when I'm SPEAKIN'-THE-TRUTH


    Behind these bars, I feel so at home
    While I try to escape
    With misery as company, I'm still all alone
    And time don't compare to the life I waste

    VERSE TWO:
    He sittin' on the stool, with with his DRINK-IN-HIS-GRIP
    Icebergs in his glass, steady SINKIN'-HIS-SHIP
    They pour another and he's WETTIN'-HIS-TONGUE
    He's REGRETTIN'-THIS-ONE before the SESSIONS-BEGUN
    He sighs out, lettin' loose every BREATH-IN-HIS-LUNGS
    Smellin' the SCENT-OF-HIS-RUM, but hell, the STRESSIN'-IS-DUMB
    He knows what he's doin', he's NEGLECTIN'-HIS-SON
    But he's ordering the third before the SECOND-IS-DONE
    It's like, every time his boss HANDS-'EM-A-CHECK
    He PLANS-TO-JUST-SET it aside, but to the TAVERN-HE-JETS
    And THAT-HE-REGRETS...
    And his wife always tellin' the kids not to bother daddy 'cause DADDIES-UPSET
    He can't help it, he's worried, got PROBLEMS-TO-SOLVE
    But with every drink he's takin', another PROBLEM-EVOLVES
    He keeps tellin' himself, man TONIGHT-WAS-THE-WORSE
    But he really can't see himself FIGHTIN'-THE-URGE


    Behind these bars, I feel so at home
    While I try to escape
    With misery as company, I'm still all alone
    And time don't compare to the life I waste

    VERSE THREE:
    Everyday you hustled, you was MAKIN'-SOME-CASH
    To keep the water runnin' so ya babygirl can TAKE-A-BATH
    Tried ESCAPIN'-THIS-PATH, do AWAY-WITH-THE-STASH
    Get a regular job, bosses looked in ya FACE-AND-JUST-LAUGHED
    Every muthafucka judgin', you can't TAKE-IT-NO-MORE
    So every bastard that wasn't hiring just MAKES-YOU-RESORT
    To the streets, and now you got ya CASES-IN-COURT
    Ya little family showin' up, and every FACE-IS-SUPPORT
    Beause it's breakin' you apart, knowin' they'll THROW-AWAY-THE-KEY
    And it's gonna be a while for you HOLD-YA-BABY-SEED
    You wish you could do it over, you would THROW-AWAY-THE-KEYS
    But when you've made the mistake is the ONLY-WAY-YOU-SEE
    That what you pushin', is poison, POLUTTIN'-YA-LIFE
    So you can get the NEWEST-OF-NIKES, a fathers LOSIN'-HIS-LIFE
    REDUCIN'-HIS-WIFE to tears, both of you PLAYIN'-WITH-DICE
    He gave you the money, but now, you're PAYIN'-THE-PRICE



    Behind these bars, I feel so at home
    While I try to escape
    With misery as company, I'm still all alone
    And time don't compare to the life I waste

  2. #2
    The ABBOTT noel411's Avatar
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    Default

    That was tight. The message was strong and all verses were well structured. Only negative for me was I really can't stand when people do the emphasis on multies thing (capitals, bold, italic, whatever). It really takes away from the quality of the written for me. But yeah, definately a solid song.


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