Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Tha First Shot

  1. #1
    Ruler of the Solar Realm Sun Supreme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    The center of the universe
    Posts
    133
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Tha First Shot

    Im new to tha forum and I have never done this before. I have been writin rhymes for about 8 years but I have never exposed my rhymes to where they could receive so much criticism. I will continue to post regardless of the feedback. Alot of what I will post is years old but if its hot its hot regardless of how old it is. OK, Ima shut up now. Peep dis!


    Its too real
    what niggaz is doin for mils
    few feel guilt 'bout baggin cracks or blastin da steel
    got blocks like battlefields
    or the jungle, cuz muthafuckas hunters jus catchin a meal
    homin in on dem rat squeals,
    and snake hisses, cuz they hate niggaz that tattle tell
    you might as well snooze wit the fish
    nowadays niggaz'll boot in ya crib, shoot up ya bitch
    throw the tool to ya lips
    lookin for dem 22 bricks that u movin wit
    down to the food in the fridge
    niggaz hungary for more
    and they won't starve before they take yours
    or start choppin on plates and saucers
    got em feelin like entreprenures
    movin they product
    the hottest shit you can't cop in the stores
    its all gravy till the cops involved, one day u get a knock at the door
    its the PD, now do u flee or rocket it off
    the tv cameras outside so if u die ya momma saw
    but ya niggaz love the drama don't chu
    it's all fun and games till somebody spill ya brains or poke u
    Call me Sun cuz I shine like 1!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. #2
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    26
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    I'll drop sum real feed back on this later
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

  3. #3
    "Come as you are" Bigot Hitman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati, walnut hills
    Age
    26
    Posts
    2,165
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    The flow on this piece was straight, i like the flow on the real, you had some half-way new concpets in it, so good job on the creatvity, the multies were shakey, but they don't have to be perfect to sound good over audio anyways so keep postin up. overall-7.5/10

    p.s. u write like sheek louch alittle
    The dealer of hope is selling me lies
    Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
    This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
    Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
    Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
    For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
    http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •