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Thread: Dragonial Redemption...

  1. #1

    Default Dragonial Redemption...

    ...This is the second installment to my first post "Unjust Dragon Fire..." in a
    larger piece called "The Day the Dragon was Slain", if you read this without
    having read the first part you will have a hard time understanding what is
    going on...


    Im looking down the GUN barrel, "What could I possibly do?"/

    He misses me on purpose and the laser grazes my shoe/

    He gives me a crooked smile and I quickly drop on the floor/

    I slide uderneath his legs, pull them, to kill him is now my chore/

    The Soldier is in a daze now, just like everybody else/

    I take away his laser gun and rip him apart at the temples/

    I spit into the exit wound with every emotion inside of me/

    But now the CELESTIAL SEARCHLIGHT is beginning to hum I must flee/

    The Radio in the Sky is scanning my barcode and calls out loud:

    "CITIZEN ONE-SIX-FIVE-Z SURRENDER NOW!!!"/

    My heart is pounding hard now and no one can stop the stares/

    Even if I run away there still is surveillance everywhere/

    "MY BROTHERS!" I delare, "The time to attack has come!/

    If we dont Do it now we'll regret it and never get it done!"/

    Just then I hear a Cough coming from a couple feet away/

    Its my hero that saved my life earlier in the day/

    He says to me: "What in the fuck do you think you're doing?/

    In order to go about this you must plan or you'll end up ruined!"/

    Flaberghasted, I asked him his name and he took a pause/

    "Shu Hui" he whispers, "The Redeemer of human laws"/

    He continues, "Teach me the ways of the quickness to your anger/

    For a peaceful man like me must be taught to be like a panther"/

    Humbled I say to him: "its not a blessing its a curse/

    If it were not for you my skin would be the outside of a purse/

    Your wisdom is superior you must teach me the sacred way/

    And together you and me can start something and save the day"/

    Shu Hui smirks as if the wisdom of ages were just restored/

    And in the distance, the smog, we see the ARMY'S BATTALLION 4/

    "Come quick!" he blurts out, "we must hurry underground/

    We don't have time and we need a plan pound per precious pound"/

    I follow him to a door and down a dusty stairwell/

    He shuts the door behind him...I feel like all will be well/

    At the end of the stairwell, Shu Hui lights a candle/

    The whole place lights up and reveals a Sacred Temple/

    Within this temple I spend about four months/

    Along with Shu Hui perfecting me, a crash course in martial arts/

    On the last day Shu Hui wakes me up at midnight/

    Takes me to a hidden door and tells me with all his might:/

    "Here inside this room lies the sanity of the human race"/

    And sure enough he proves it by kicking the door out of place/

    I look inside the room and I fall to my weary knees/

    Completely in disbelief Im silent as a calm breeze/

    "Ive been saving all these weapons until the day I met the warrior/

    And you have proven yourself to be more than that, you're a holy partner"/

    As he's saying these words he hands me a small explosive/

    "First things first, we must render that celestial radio corrosive"...


    ...to be continued...
    The Price of my ice is sky high/Im a fly guy/
    Thats every thug's dream/I really love cream its in my bloodstream/

    BIG L

  2. #2

    Default Re: Dragonial Redemption...

    just for the record...
    I AM NOT A TERRORIST rest assured...
    and thanks for the feedback on the first one....
    The Price of my ice is sky high/Im a fly guy/
    Thats every thug's dream/I really love cream its in my bloodstream/

    BIG L

  3. #3
    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dragonial Redemption...

    The first part of this verse, you did not express it well, although it catches its momentum as the verse progresses- it had lost its potential. But its a good read , actually captivating (Sci-Fi stuff)

    Peace
    PS: Keep posting

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