new track feedback plleez

My bed squeeks like a miouse with fat cheeks
with quick feet
In the deep like thrombossis
Clotting up ur mouthpiece
Il b dottin out ur fagspeach
And teach u the way of the samuri
U cant reach higher then I
Poke u in the eye
Ive never lived a lie
Sop y would I wanna try
Days after night pass me bye
Life is to short and thenu have to die
Get ur scores sorted look
l;isten up now fatties get ur tummy tucked
Im dapper but im not a crook
Hold it up I told u
I wup with the mic cocked
Then I let it shut blast ur ipod
In my life Ive been high once
Or twice snorted ice
Fortified diamond syched
Piped a bong and taken flight
Hyped it up and taken bites
Shaped up white
Powder laced And been spiked
Laid up in my bed all night
dripping out a sense out a pence now good night
Morning has broken
Next to me is a deformed mrs Slocomb
Woah wayt the *** was I toking
More scary then the guns some be toting
Like I took a bang to the head wen I be scopeing
Smoking hoping this rush gets me floating
Kicking with the bud now thatís smoking
Eloping with mary jane I luv that bitch always soaking

Now pak d is on a march
My victory is on the cards
I do birdies u only do pars
On my 2nd speech
U only do halves
And smoke rhubarb
Do re mi fasssy ole
All ladi da pass thatr patty darls
U just a saggy child
Baggy in de nile
Im all on the wild with my spinach
Only innit to winnit no klingon
Im singing
Ring ding dingin
Bling bling wimmin
In a spin ur in stirruips
All on ur case cos uve been on the slimmin
And like a l;ight u be dimming
Im getting mine n u u getting dumped
Stunned sunk uve been bunned
Just a lump of flesh the neck runged
Step by step by front like stiumped
on a stomp not down in the dumps like stig
Now check out ur big wig
Shindigs rigadig dig shutr up donít pop ur lid
Or u might get stopped nd skid
Did u think I was soft with the *** that I bring I win