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Thread: First Rap

  1. #1

    Default First Rap

    Yo, I wrote this wrap while incarcerated. It is my first real song about something that is real. I don't write often at all, so let me know what you think, good or bad.

    In my hood, clik's just seem the norm
    They created gangsterism so they could fight the form
    Five hoes fiend'n, strutin' up and down the block
    Ten cops cruisin', tryin' to get your whole crew lock'd
    Still, you gotta fight for the next crack chop
    If not, the next man I'll be takin' your spot
    Not wantin' to show up with a nine or a glock
    Not wantin' to be takin' chances on your ass gettin' popped
    Just stop, hold up, ease for a minute
    Choke on that weed smoke, and just breathe for a minute
    Take steps back, and you'll be sellin' keys in a minute
    With the right grammer pa, you can breeze right through it
    Cats listen up 'cause they know I've been through it
    I've been 'bout it, 'bout it for years, they know I'm the truest
    And to speak to it, worse than a snitch is a bitch
    She can get you caught up, robbed, or have your ass hit
    And that's it! You won't be selling crack no more
    And you won't be leaving rubbers on your bentley floor
    'Cause when I kick your door with the 4-4, you'll be down screamin'
    'PIECES' don't hit me no more. So listen up,
    Before your up, before you clowns get served
    Step 2 my team, you just stepped on my last nerve
    Even though I'm locked down, I'm gettin' out
    With out a doubt, I'm comin' round 2 put your spliffs out
    Thats's lights out. What ain't Understand? Is understood!
    Up in Vanier spliffs get snuffed out for good.

    If anybody thinks that i should keep practicing and learning, let me know. This is the first lyrics I have ever written for anyone to see.

  2. #2
    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Jun 2005
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    Default Re: First Rap

    Very gangster like. You will need to put some form to your style. Some areas you seemed to repeat the same thought (sought of stops the flow and returns then starts again, after it continues). You need to improve on your flow just goes with your style. But you have some good creative style the way you describe the certain scenes ( like the way you placed them) kind of neat.

    Peace
    PS: Keep posting

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