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Thread: My Mates Poem (Badger)

  1. #1
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    Arrow My Mates Poem (Badger)

    This is a poem written by a mate of mine, he wrote it about two years ago for a school poem, chiggity check:

    Badger

    Badger, badger in the night,
    Asleep in the daytime light,
    What do you think when asleep?
    Hiding in the woods so deep.

    Using leaves to build a dome,
    Where you can sleep all alone,
    Underneath your fluffy paws,
    Lay your sharp and deadly claws.

    In the dark and gloomy woods,
    The big great trees act as hoods,
    A badgers life - good and bad,
    Some of it happy, some sad.

    Remember this was written two years ago at the age of 13, regardless... all feedback is appreciated. ONE

  2. #2
    Are U aware I ban @ will? MASTER PAI MEI's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    why dont you put this in the poetry thread???

  3. #3
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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    'Cause I wanted some more complex critique and feedback on it... what you think ben? Holla back. ONE

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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    It has a lonely feel to it its simple yet very deep

  5. #5
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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    Thanx for the feedback man, it's deeply appreciated. Lets get some more. ONE

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    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    Its quite an indepth verse. And has its own imagery. Seems to provide a searching mentality,distand from most things, curious-actually notorious! But its very omnipresent. kind of dynamic.

    Peace

  7. #7
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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    Yeh yeh, thanx a lot man. It's appreciated. Keep coming with the feedback. ONE

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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    i think its sick G.

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    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    Quote Originally Posted by SpOk3N
    Way TOO Simple. I like the idea of people expanding poetry, but the message was like, too obvious. Maybe 4 more lines would've even it out. Although, it is a good, creative way to make a comparison. Original, but just too simple. Tell him to make more depth to it, and have more metaphors and double meanings beneath the lines. Peace.
    no homo
    a.k.a. The Difference saying check out my 1st video


  10. #10

    Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

    I think it can have a million meanings to it, depending on how you decipher it.



    My evidence, my own testament, written on wood
    Twelve tribes layin at the head of corners in hoods
    Hell razah

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