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Thread: Any feeback (probly criticism) welcomed...

  1. #1
    Happiness not happenings SynsCei's Avatar
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    Default Any feeback (probly criticism) welcomed...

    Tests
    And the answers only raise questions
    Pencil broke use the blood I signed for bad intentions
    Devil laughs
    Echo reaches depths now itís trapped
    Playing every second each second daggers in the back
    Pain felt
    Piercing glass or a burning welt
    Not insane lift my plane towards Orionís belt
    Meditate
    His eyes in the sky sees my fate
    An arduous path must keep a steady rate
    Contemplate
    One ideal way to live many ways a neck can break
    Calling him my ĎHomeyí a brotherís gentle shake
    Crying
    Tears erode the skin every time I am trying
    Southing the soul feeling better why am I still lying?
    Shadows of the night reflect nightmares of the day
    Daydreams break light though evenings on its way -- SynsCei

  2. #2
    LIVE AND UNCUT OTB's Avatar
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    Default

    nice flow-

    i like how use the long sentences, that makes for a nice flow-

    like i like to write-

    word-

  3. #3

    Default

    This was nice flowed like water and visual pretty good , wouldn't mind if you build in my thread.



    My evidence, my own testament, written on wood
    Twelve tribes layin at the head of corners in hoods
    Hell razah

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