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Thread: Slim Fantom presents: YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER SUCKS

  1. #31

    Default I dare you....

    Big L
    AZ
    GZA
    The Notorious B.I.G.

  2. #32
    Munching eyes since 1989 Edgar Erebus's Avatar
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    Wera

    You wrong, Benny. Wera sucks big-time because he has one of the illest clicks of MC's in his area and can't even manage to gather 'em round to do a fuckin' one single.






    OK, back on topic:


    Method Man


    You already know the main Meth complaint: that he's DAH most disappointing MC to ever come up. He's almost a professional buzz killer. He makes the buzz of a hornet nest with his guest appearances and collaborations, and then drops a solo album that functions as an insecticide.

    And that's sad as fuck, and pisses me off so bad I wanna fucking shove his head in Tical 0 jewel case. You know why? He's one of the really few MC's in whose technique I can't find any flaw: he's versatile flower, he's capable of doing any subject matter from love songs to battle raps to mafia shit, he sounds excellent over any kind of beat from G-funk to Diddy-pop, he can be slow and seductive on one song and madder than a hatter on another and his lyrics always make sense. He has such an energy that you don't even need to be on a concert, you buckwild in your room with headphones on. He has improved over years. How many rappers can say that they're better fifteen years into career than when they first showed up?

    And despite all of that he can't make albums that are above decent (save for the debut, but that was '94 anyway, more a RZA thing than anyone others'). Seems that he's, despite everything positive about him, simply mentally handicapped from crafting something on his own. A dream follower. Extremely talented and unforgivably dumb. Alas.



    GZA

    Suffers from same disease as Rakim: complete inability to make his flow interesting. Even worse, he shows pathological inclination to go off-beat. And he never even raps on fast beats (he used to, but results were, more than not, quite mediocre).

    What else? He's another "Nas" genius who's so awesome that it's your own fault if you don't recognize his awesomeness. In his case, it goes on the subject matter versatility, because he can rap about anything, but instead mainly ends up on philosophies, microscope and spaceships. What's even better, it's not from laziness, it's deliberate: he's like Cam'ron in a way, just that Cam'ron says "no homo" when saying something not remotely gay (what does it say about him?), and GZA wants to be "no corny" when rapping something not remotely stale (what does it say about him?). And so he ends up being boring and predictable. Bravissimo.

    And he's a storyteller so frustrating that you wanna slap him across the ears. He starts telling a story so vivid you can literally picture everything he's saying, makes a plot worth of a Scorsese movie, and then it's suddenly over and you are like: "The fuck?" He never ended any of his stories. Nothing ever happens in his stories. Probably because he doesn't want them to be corny.



    Big L

    (I never liked to diss dead people, probably my clan-based Mediterranean upbringing. But, I have a sense of obligation here...)

    Why did he suck, apart from that he used to write his freestyles and then repeat them in his songs? Well, for starters, because he's a totally inhuman rapper. Nothing human ever in Big L's songs, just a lot of haaaaard thug shit talk - always in form of punchlines that mostly don't have any connection between them - and flossing and sexing. No soul. (That's always case with short rappers, they live with that murdering inferiority complex and must cover it up with too excessive blingin and thuggin.)

    He even used to rap like a robot: always screaming his rhymes at top of his lungs with that high-pitched nasal voice. Always. Never slow and threatening. (Again because he was short, because he must got used to it during childhood, nobody would notice him if he wasn't the loudest in the group. Prolly no one took him serious even when he learned to scream).




    Del tha Funkee Homosapien


    Let's start with one of the most idiotic names a rapper ever thought of. Del. Reminds me only of a certain Del Trotter, remember what a buffoon was him? Then, "funkee". Like "funky" wasn't showing well enough that here we are talking about good-intended, naive and non-threatening fun, he had to change it to "funkee" to make it as wimpy as possible. And, last but not least, "homosapien". I gotta give it to him, though, it takes courage to have a name with "homo" in it in the rap world, but even if we don't think that way it sounds nerdy as that kid with beer-bottom glasses no one wanted to be noticed with.

    And, believe it or not, with that I said everything about his music too. It's silly, corny, wimpy, nerdy and sends around gay vibes, prolly because of his forced-up delivery. He's basically, the ultimate oreo-cookie rapper.



    AZ


    How to predict how will AZ's next effort sound like? Very simply: check out Nas's last offering.

    Every normal rapper would try their best to jump outta the shadow of the man who put them on the map. But don't count AZ as normal: he made his career by repeating whatever Nas did before him. Just look, even quality of his albums had same ups and downs as Nas': classic debut, lame follow-ups, jump back on high grounds in '01... He even repeated "Untitled" formula for his latest mixtape.

    Every now-and-then, though, he'd try to make up something on his own, and that is actually the worst we can expect from him. He either lives on the intellectual level of a great white shark or he has a nerval block from expressing any of his feelings. He's never sad, never happy, never bored, never tired. He still rides mafioso shit, 12 years since it became played-out, and he still sticks with the most basic formula of it. As monotonous as his delivery.

    And he sounds like a female. For real, I used to mix him up with Foxy Brown.



    Notorious B.I.G.

    Another B.I.G. act. The biggie bad flosser, mafia don Frank Blizzard, moves his pinky and you're dead, fuckin girls all around. Yeah.

    And then you get to know him and you realize that he was a dude who never overcame his Edip's complex, being mama's huge boy at age of 25. Not to even mention that he was an incredibly smart dumbass, a straight A kid (that's gangsta) who fucked it all up for standing up on the corner and being a small-time dealer. Maybe he was autistic or something, because at age of 22 he showed intellectual level of a fresh teen, frustrated because of his fatness (asthmatic, goddamn), depressed rebel without a cause with suicidal thoughts.

    But, okay, he at least had balls to say how it is on his first album, but until second he just became another in the line of mediocre bling rappers utterly bored with their life. Not to mention that somewhere in the process he almost completely lost his ability to rap in legit sentences.

    When it comes to sex - c'mon, who was he fooling? Someone that fat can't fuck at all, I mean how can anyone get to his dick through those hundreds of pounds of jelly fat? Noticed how every fat rapper loves to brag about his sexual escapades? There's a very simple reason: they don't get any. And, because Biggie was obviously still in puberty, he had to make up all those stories with shitting and Manila trilla to impress his classmates. So, let's sum up why Biggie sucked: because he was a depressed fat fucked-up lying lifetime adolescent mama's boy. Content?
    Last edited by Edgar Erebus; 12-11-2008 at 09:03 AM.
    "The Devil is not the Prince of Matter; the Devil is the arrogance of the spirit, faith without smile, truth that is never seized by doubt. The Devil is grim because he knows where he is going, and, in moving, he always returns whence he came."

  3. #33
    SHAOLIN STUDENT stashlova's Avatar
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    Damn bruh you are brutal.


    "Cause she's my bitch - the only cat that i lick
    Throwin that ass like Ciara on the top of that whip...""

  4. #34
    Hello, everybody! DR. NICK RIVIERA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slim T View Post
    Wera

    You wrong, Benny. Wera sucks big-time because he has one of the illest clicks of MC's in his area and can't even manage to gather 'em round to do a fuckin' one single.


    Damn, so true.
    bring back begongo!!

  5. #35

  6. #36
    SikoCeLL
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slim T View Post
    So, let's sum up why Biggie sucked: because he was a depressed fat fucked-up lying lifetime adolescent mama's boy. Content?
    HAHAHA!!

  7. #37

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    Slim T your a funny mofr



    My evidence, my own testament, written on wood
    Twelve tribes layin at the head of corners in hoods
    Hell razah

  8. #38
    Hungry Hyena From Medina SL33's Avatar
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    /excellent thread..............




  9. #39
    Wu Vatican
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    THE CLIPSE

    (here comes the all they do is coke raps...weak)
    The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

    People are too stupid to effectively conspire to do anything, but not too stupid to come up with conspiracy theories.

  10. #40
    NOBLE SCITY IronFingaz7's Avatar
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    Kool G Rap
    Sean Price
    Big Pun
    Hell Razah
    Big Daddy Kane

    Ra & GZA have already been said.

    P.E.A.C.E.
    Last edited by IronFingaz7; 12-11-2008 at 05:53 PM.

  11. #41

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IronFingaz7 View Post
    Big Pun
    This one is going to be hard...

    P.S. I'm playing you in the semifinals of the WuCorp football league now.

  12. #42

    Default

    (author) GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE !!...clown...this is blasphemy
    you should be smacked..people will say whatever when hiding behind a computer monitor..in real life they shribble up and try not to draw attention to themself

  13. #43

    Default

    some of it is kinda funny tho still

  14. #44
    NOBLE SCITY IronFingaz7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shizzah View Post
    This one is going to be hard...

    P.S. I'm playing you in the semifinals of the WuCorp football league now.
    Oh word??? Damn, I have to check that shit.

    P.E.A.C.E.

  15. #45
    PRODIGAL SUN
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    Quote Originally Posted by IronFingaz7 View Post
    Kool G Rap
    Sean Price
    Big Pun
    Hell Razah
    Big Daddy Kane

    Ra & GZA have already been said.

    P.E.A.C.E.
    Just pick one at a time yo..

    anyway.. here's one I'm interested in you bashing:

    Common


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