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Old 08-15-2005, 11:19 PM   #1
Father N Dangerous
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Default Keystyle (7-0-2)

i need to drop more pieces so here one go...


Yo...

My subliminal thought ~rip ya dreams~ crush your dome and ~strip ya seams~/
servin other ~MC's~ like im the dope deala, and your the ~Phines~/
fist fight only, fuck the ~mack ten~ i'll say ~wats happenin~ then straight kung fu ~action~/
servin any ~crew~ eatin ya up like a family ~barbeque~, my dick solid and long like chinese ~bamboo~/
when you talk to me ~pace your breath~ or else i'll get raw so they can't ~trace your death~/
If your at my house and go wild AKA ~Flippin~ i'll get the chef's knife in the ~kitchen~ or my gun and throw a ~clip in~/
500 ~elements~ to my ~intellegence~ leavin MC's stupid like speech ~impediments~/


uppin for feed
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Old 08-15-2005, 11:31 PM   #2
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Default Re: Keystyle (7-0-2)

haha... speech impediments

its cool but more of a battle rhyme PEaCE
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Old 08-15-2005, 11:36 PM   #3
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Default Re: Keystyle (7-0-2)

thanks man i appreciate the feed! and i edited it
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Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom
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Old 08-15-2005, 11:54 PM   #4
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Default Re: Keystyle (7-0-2)

Dangerous that was pretty ill, keep it up.
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Old 08-16-2005, 10:04 AM   #5
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Default Re: Keystyle (7-0-2)

....that was aight.... you got potential... first off, if you're going to use '~ ... ~' to designate a multi, the word(s) contained with in have to actually by multis... "....MC/....fiends/" not a multi... 'c' and 'fiends' rhyme but there's no rhyme for M... same with "...mac ten/...what's happening/" even if only 'happening' was in the '~...~' it wouldn't be an exact multi... check your syllables next time... the verse had a good flow after that though... "...pace your breat/ trace your death/" line was hot, and after that it was pretty solid.... you should keep going with that and rework the begining parts...
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Old 08-16-2005, 07:42 PM   #6
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Default Re: Keystyle (7-0-2)

tight big props to u three for acutally givin ur insight on this shit. stay up
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for a Way ta' Learn, how ta Take tha' Curse of the Weight of Earth
Incase it Curved, and Strained my Nervous System..
Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom
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