Rise of a star

[Point-Blank]

Ok..this is my first post here. Looks like a good site so I'ma be stickin around
Basically I wrote this about 2 months back, I'm tryin to get back into rhyming so thats why the content aint incredible but ye, you already know.

I was taught to believe, that in life I'm sure to succeed
My rhymes are pure as can be, and thats important to me
I'm the talk of the streets, coz I've learnt to walk on my feet
Used to crawl on my knees when I was thought of as weak
But opportunitys knocked : I was improvin a lot
Communitys flocked, and said I was as fluent as Pac
Grew on the block : transformed into a nuisance to cops
I was on top of my game and was refusing to stop
I then knew that I'd got, a rep for not giving a damn
The kids were my fans, like, "I'm really diggin this man"
So I realised I had a talent : had a business to plan
Gathered my troops together : formed a clique and a clan
Who bopped their heads as their fingers were tapped on the tins and the cans
While my lyrics would rip it when the rhythm began
So I did what I had to, always standing my ground
Neighbours gathered in crowds to come an hear me rappin aloud
My mind was full of lines, but I narrowed it down
Said what I could just to get a *gasp* and a 'Wow!'
Travelled around,rode on roads in the dopest coaches
Spat my hocus pocus flows so i wouldn't go unnoticed
Those who were hopeless, were only told to focus -
On what I spoke as my boasting quotes were blown on posters
Keep it real, as the days when I'm lonely and old approaches
But for now I'm givin em thrills similiar to rollercoasters
Like 'Holy Moly I hope it doesn't start goin slower!'
So I'll show ya, how I became a rising star
Newspaper titles sparked lies about my private parts
Saying I was having affairs : but, of course, I was not
So I decided to write a track just to fight em off
Tho they we were doin me a favour : my publicity boosted
My lyrics were truth, so I delivered the music
I was then recognized by real dudes, who said that I was real smooth
Told em I had to hold my own, they're like ''Yeah yeah man, I feel you''
I'd been training them in private, an it was then that i released my crew
A set of guys who heat the booth, so record buys had reached the roof
An that's where we are today : our venom rhymes are leakin through
It's these lessons and these lectures I attempt to try and teach to you....

[J.T.S.]

Ok, reminds me of "lose yourself' by eminem kind of.

[Point-Blank]

I don't know if that is good or bad but thanks
Any more feed

[FacelessEnemy]

My mind was full of lines, but I narrowed it down
Said what I could just to get a *gasp* and a 'Wow!'

haha nice

good verse