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Old 08-23-2005, 01:07 PM   #1
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Arrow My Mates Poem (Badger)

This is a poem written by a mate of mine, he wrote it about two years ago for a school poem, chiggity check:

Badger

Badger, badger in the night,
Asleep in the daytime light,
What do you think when asleep?
Hiding in the woods so deep.

Using leaves to build a dome,
Where you can sleep all alone,
Underneath your fluffy paws,
Lay your sharp and deadly claws.

In the dark and gloomy woods,
The big great trees act as hoods,
A badgers life - good and bad,
Some of it happy, some sad.

Remember this was written two years ago at the age of 13, regardless... all feedback is appreciated. ONE
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Old 08-23-2005, 04:34 PM   #2
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

why dont you put this in the poetry thread???
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Old 08-23-2005, 04:44 PM   #3
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

'Cause I wanted some more complex critique and feedback on it... what you think ben? Holla back. ONE
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:00 PM   #4
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

It has a lonely feel to it its simple yet very deep
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Old 08-23-2005, 05:20 PM   #5
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

Thanx for the feedback man, it's deeply appreciated. Lets get some more. ONE
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Old 08-24-2005, 06:18 AM   #6
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

Its quite an indepth verse. And has its own imagery. Seems to provide a searching mentality,distand from most things, curious-actually notorious! But its very omnipresent. kind of dynamic.

Peace
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Old 08-24-2005, 11:37 AM   #7
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

Yeh yeh, thanx a lot man. It's appreciated. Keep coming with the feedback. ONE
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Old 08-25-2005, 02:26 PM   #8
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

i think its sick G.
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Old 08-26-2005, 11:28 AM   #9
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpOk3N
Way TOO Simple. I like the idea of people expanding poetry, but the message was like, too obvious. Maybe 4 more lines would've even it out. Although, it is a good, creative way to make a comparison. Original, but just too simple. Tell him to make more depth to it, and have more metaphors and double meanings beneath the lines. Peace.
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Old 08-26-2005, 02:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: My Mates Poem (Badger)

I think it can have a million meanings to it, depending on how you decipher it.
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