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Old 09-01-2005, 11:45 AM   #1
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Default Venomous Darts

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Old 09-01-2005, 11:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

feedback yo
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Old 09-01-2005, 11:59 AM   #3
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

that was real nice... flowed well and your point was understood..
.So all ya'll writers writing nonsense watch ouit for Jamel the Lyrical Comet

PEaCE
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Old 09-01-2005, 12:02 PM   #4
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

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Old 09-01-2005, 12:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

I PREFERRED THE RAP CONQUEST RHYMES MYSELF MAN YOU DROP SOME GOOD LYRICS IN THAT 1 FOR DEF!! I AINT GONNA COMMENT ON FLOWS BECAUSE I THINK TO JUDGE THAT SORTA THING WELL YOU NEED TO HEAR IT COS EVERYONE SPITS DIFFERENT AND HAS DIFF STYLES!! YA GET ME?? THESE WERE MY FAVE LINE FROM THIS ONE THO...

Multiple wak emcees are making hip hop a mockery,
shocking me, none of them can drop a verse properly,
I call it mirror music, coz they concerned with their reflection,
to love oneself more then brethren, is a complete misdirection,

PEACE
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Old 09-01-2005, 12:14 PM   #6
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

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Old 09-01-2005, 12:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

Dont Get Me Wrong I Thought It Was Still Pretty Good, Jus Prefered Other!!
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Old 09-01-2005, 12:28 PM   #8
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

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Old 09-01-2005, 06:28 PM   #9
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

**blinks to clear the lines from his vision** damn white text on a black background...

The topic was one i've seen often but you carried it off with some real flair. You brought strong vocab and mixed it with fairly complex rhymes (good multi's) and some pretty damn good imagery considering the topic you were tackling. I didnt like the second verse as much as the first, i thought the graphic violence was too sudden a change. But you brought it back quickley enough to keep me reading til the end.

Good work, i'll be checking for more of your stuff.
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Old 09-02-2005, 01:51 AM   #10
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Default Re: Venomous Darts

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