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Old 09-05-2005, 12:26 AM   #1
shystar36
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Post Touch The World

god speaks to me through sign language
but i'm not good with my hands
i'm good with me tongue
so i can't understand shit
i haven't lived life
i've delt with it
my soul is felt-tipped
written on hallways
where nobody stands, they sit
it shows my soul gets shitted on
that's just reality
i can only blame one man
for the problems i face in life
he's been there since the day i was born
to my first steps
til i witness my last breathes
he's the reason i've said goodbye
to some of my best friends
and give hugs to my worst enemies
suckin' on deaths venom
is all i seem to enjoy
cause ever since i was a boy
ignored by christ's blessings
his presense in my life
wasn't much more than an annoyance
i'm staring at his picture in the laundry room
questioning existence of a higher being
and still can't recieve an answer
but if you look at the disasters we face
it's either the end of the world
in revelations
or we're followers with no master
the clock just seems to tick faster
i lost the race
martin luther tried to uplift blacks
he lost his race
convicted rapists that are set up for trial
they dodge the case
i need to make some money rappin'
shystar's on a paper chase
and i'll use half to feed the children
i won't rub it in you face
i'll get the fuck up outta dodge
i swear i won't leave a trace
to all my people, everywhere
who feel like they have no place..in life
you're not alone
but we can make things right
despite my past efforts
i'm destined to make a record
that will touch so many hearts
racist white folks just might even respect it
i lift the sleeves of my sweatshirt
and stick my hands in the dirt
'cause i'm trying to touch this planet
and damn it, i hope this works
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Old 09-05-2005, 10:44 PM   #2
shystar36
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Default Re: Touch The World

damn whats it take to get feedback on some ltrics...my shit can't be that fucking bad. i know my shit isn't "scientific" and confusing but still... not everyone here needs to rap like rza
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Old 09-07-2005, 10:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: Touch The World

nobody has shit to say...that's ridiculous
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Old 09-12-2005, 06:34 PM   #4
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Default Re: Touch The World

i've seen worse rhymes with positive responses, can someone atleast tell me what i can touch up to make it better.
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Old 09-12-2005, 06:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: Touch The World

i read sum of it just now so far....it seems a little to sentimental for me right now...it's ill but just make it sound a little more ruff around the edges nah mean...i'll get back to you when i got time to read the whole thing.....peace
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Old 09-12-2005, 07:25 PM   #6
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Default Re: Touch The World

Thats whats good, you got dreams mang, good luck on everything.

The rhyme scheme could use work though, I'm not sure how that would fit on a beat.
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Old 09-12-2005, 07:37 PM   #7
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Default Re: Touch The World

i wrote it to the beat off mf dooms special herbs 9+0 called coltsfoot leaf. i believe it's the 7th track on the album.
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