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Old 03-10-2014, 04:48 PM   #1
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I was thinking about this shit about those muslim extremists thinking they're gonna get all these virgins when they die, and really, who even wants that shit? All those torn hymens and blood everywhere. Girls who don't know how to fuck and will likely find it painful having a cock in them.

When I die I want a bunch of nasty cock hungry sluts. Then you know you're really in for a good time. And I'm assuming there's no std's in the afterlife. Imagine that shit?
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Old 03-10-2014, 11:47 PM   #2
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Honestly dude, this is why I want to go to hell. Hell is crackin.
It's going to literally be trillions upon trillions of wretched whores with nothing to lose and good drinkings. Since id have nothing to lose I'd just get doped up and fuck bitches 5000 years in the garden puffing trees,

Then you met really cool and hilarious people as well as really interesting people like Big L, ODB and Ghandi.

Heaven would be like a mormon sunday school for an eternity, all the girls would only want to fuck jesus and saints and shit shit and they would have the worst pussy for the reasons you listed. Or be waiting for their husbands to die. Fuck that.

You don't have nerves for really, the flames would just be like rave holograms, BUT if they do hurt you'll probably get over the pain in like 4 months tops. Then it's literally a giant orgy. Anything fucked up they can want to do to you would be worth it because you'd have total freedom. Heaven would honestly just be Mormon North Korea.
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Old 03-11-2014, 12:17 AM   #3
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Tearing up hymens is like fucking a hella loose vagina bro. Why do Christians want to be good just to get to some green grass golden gate San Francisco type landscape? In the end we just dust in the wind. Holy shit I just rhymed. Someone sign me before Bad Boy does.
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Old 03-11-2014, 07:12 AM   #4
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One thing I always asked is why is it 77 virgins? why 77? why not some round number. If i spent all my life being a good muslim why don't i get like a million?

To add its not exactly virgins, you get angels i think.
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Old 03-11-2014, 07:37 AM   #5
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I believe the number was 72
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Old 03-11-2014, 08:22 AM   #6
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Then you met really cool and hilarious people as well as really interesting people like Big L, ODB and Ghandi.

haha
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Old 03-11-2014, 09:09 PM   #7
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Honestly dude, this is why I want to go to hell. Hell is crackin.
Hahaha
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Old 03-11-2014, 10:07 PM   #8
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One thing I always asked is why is it 77 virgins? why 77? why not some round number. If i spent all my life being a good muslim why don't i get like a million?

To add its not exactly virgins, you get angels i think.
Pretty sure you can only get head from Angels?

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I believe the number was 72
Yeah sounds about right.
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Old 03-11-2014, 11:40 PM   #9
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Heaven would honestly just be Mormon North Korea.

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Old 03-22-2014, 10:58 PM   #10
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One thing I always asked is why is it 77 virgins? why 77? why not some round number. If i spent all my life being a good muslim why don't i get like a million?

To add its not exactly virgins, you get angels i think.
I never understood that. What does the Koran suggest I do with these virgins because there's nothing islamic about what I have in mind.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:50 AM   #11
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you are on the right path, warrior
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Old 03-23-2014, 03:34 PM   #12
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First of all, most of y'all don't even know what you are talking about. 72 "houris" does not translate to virgins like the Traditionalist would have you believe. Real scholars of the Qur'an and even critics of Islaam know that "houris" translates to GRAPES!!!!

Grapes in the afterlife, NOT VIRGINS!!!

Educate yourselves, so you actually know what you are talking about!!!
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Old 03-23-2014, 06:11 PM   #13
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Mohammed was one hell of a salesman..... To get people to buy that load of crap.


Bill Maher had a great observation. Rename food stamps to "Christ coupons" and the republicans would back it faithfully.... No pun intended.
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Old 03-23-2014, 07:42 PM   #14
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First of all, most of y'all don't even know what you are talking about. 72 "houris" does not translate to virgins like the Traditionalist would have you believe. Real scholars of the Qur'an and even critics of Islaam know that "houris" translates to GRAPES!!!!

Grapes in the afterlife, NOT VIRGINS!!!

Educate yourselves, so you actually know what you are talking about!!!
I guess it's not hard to see why extremists twisted it. I mean who the fuck is gonna fly a plane into a building for 72 grapes?
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:23 AM   #15
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I guess it's not hard to see why extremists twisted it. I mean who the fuck is gonna fly a plane into a building for 72 grapes?
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then she started telling me that she can't drink house drinks or cheap vodak, that it has to be ciroc or patron or else she gets sick. Bitch you better guzzle this Bartons and take an advil.
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