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02-01-2007, 01:09 PM
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#1 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 42
Rep Power: 0  |
Blah
..Harpoons Enter Your ‘Esophagus’ Resulting In ‘Demise’ Survival Not Likely ‘Miraculous’..
..With The ‘Oddest-Twists’ Infected Fists Violently Wind Down Throats Like ‘Osmosis-Tempests’.. .. Will Banish This Chat Room Praising Adolescent With Crescent Shaped Screws.... ..That'll Pierce Through His Prescence..The Rank's Likely Not Growing Like Zombie Pubes.. .. Body Spews Insides It's The End Your Complexsion Turns Green Colored Like Skittle-Blends.. ..Cranium Bent So I Gorge Your Neck Till Nothings Left But Scents..Like Scarface Your Too Little-Friend.. ..Tormentful Torrents Smashing Flesh Against Rocks..Grinding Until Your Dust-Like-Sand.. .. A Blood Lust Fan Seperating Skin From Bones So You Lose Weight Like Workout-Plans.. ..A Rook Thirsty Vet, Impaling You Till Shook Hurtfully-Threats... ..Igniting Your Figure Next..Having Your Head Rest Alone In My Home Like Jersey-Nets... |
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02-01-2007, 03:05 PM
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#2 |
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"Come as you are"
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Cincinnati, walnut hills
Age: 22
Posts: 2,165
Rep Power: 10  |
The lines are stretched out too much, unless u rapped like twista, they would be impossible to rap over a beat. You got a great use of vocab in this, simple metaphors, punchlines softcore. 6.8/10 seen better from u
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The dealer of hope is selling me lies Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise This life was never mine, the rivers never ran Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman) http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61 |
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02-01-2007, 05:38 PM
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#3 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 42
Rep Power: 0 |
YEa but I like posted iti n a chat room cyper so..
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02-01-2007, 05:51 PM
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#4 |
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"Come as you are"
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Cincinnati, walnut hills
Age: 22
Posts: 2,165
Rep Power: 10 |
if so, then this the type of shit u throw under the raw art thread or your own personal thread of all ur raps, if its just a quick verse it doens't need this whole thread, even if u want feedback on it
__________________
The dealer of hope is selling me lies Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise This life was never mine, the rivers never ran Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman) http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61 |
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