Haven't ever really written a verse before - Wu-Tang Corp. - Official Site of the Wu-Tang Clan

Mai Wang Tu Phat · 07-02-2011, 03:58 PM

This an 8 bar warnin', meditate and watch your fate, start formin'
I'm a busy bee, occasionally I'm caught swarmin', an anti lawman
you can't get past doorman in this house of consequences
thought prevention, stop the tension, and oh yeah not to mention
I'm in my own class, way above the opposition
I'm sure you'd agree if you took the time to stop and listen
I used to have message, as a degenerate adolescent
crossroads of the past and present, was my last impression
I made my therapist's head explode. Confession.
Like history, I'm teaching you a pointless lesson
grab ahold of the important and start lovin' 'em close
My demeanor is so subtle I start summoning ghosts.
don't complicate plot, my whole life has been a late stop
Stop tryin' to relive the past, man...great scott

Comments and criticism?

llBARlllCODEll · 07-02-2011, 06:02 PM

its dope overall. i think sometimes ur using to many words or syllables. like here...

"I'm in my own class, way above the opposition" u could drop the I'm and let it just be In my own class

this is just my opinion tho man. im not an emcee and havent written anything in years so somebody else might say different. keep practicin tho. it wasnt wak at all IMO

SHEEPISH LORD OF CHAOS · 07-02-2011, 06:42 PM

its a dope drop and like bar said drop the like and the an and sub those words or drop them completely

Mai Wang Tu Phat · 07-02-2011, 08:41 PM

Thanks guys, the reason I had those extra words in there so it would fit the bit I was writing to.

llBARlllCODEll · 07-02-2011, 08:53 PM

yeah i'd have to hear it on the beat to give further feed but keep writin and maybe evn try recording. u might be onto somethin. u had me with the first line

i read it again

and OH yeah not to mention
I'M in my own class, way above the opposition

its just one of those words capitilized is where i think u could change it but like i said i dont know what u wrote it to so my feed could even change if i heard it recorded as far as just the lyricism

Mai Wang Tu Phat · 07-03-2011, 09:18 AM

It was to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYb2nkwmI0c

J.T.S. · 07-11-2011, 11:40 AM

this shit was pretty good .

07-02-2011, 03:58 PM	#1
Mai Wang Tu Phat Keep firing, assholes! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Boston Posts: 573 Rep Power: 0	Haven't ever really written a verse before This an 8 bar warnin', meditate and watch your fate, start formin' I'm a busy bee, occasionally I'm caught swarmin', an anti lawman you can't get past doorman in this house of consequences thought prevention, stop the tension, and oh yeah not to mention I'm in my own class, way above the opposition I'm sure you'd agree if you took the time to stop and listen I used to have message, as a degenerate adolescent crossroads of the past and present, was my last impression I made my therapist's head explode. Confession. Like history, I'm teaching you a pointless lesson grab ahold of the important and start lovin' 'em close My demeanor is so subtle I start summoning ghosts. don't complicate plot, my whole life has been a late stop Stop tryin' to relive the past, man...great scott Comments and criticism? Last edited by Mai Wang Tu Phat; 07-02-2011 at 08:43 PM.

07-02-2011, 06:02 PM	#2
llBARlllCODEll PRODIGAL SUN Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 1,426 Rep Power: 0	its dope overall. i think sometimes ur using to many words or syllables. like here... "I'm in my own class, way above the opposition" u could drop the I'm and let it just be In my own class this is just my opinion tho man. im not an emcee and havent written anything in years so somebody else might say different. keep practicin tho. it wasnt wak at all IMO __________________

07-02-2011, 06:42 PM	#3
SHEEPISH LORD OF CHAOS AKA THE PROTO-CHAOS Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Section 9 HQ Posts: 8,711 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 46	its a dope drop and like bar said drop the like and the an and sub those words or drop them completely __________________ NON IGNORANT...

07-02-2011, 08:53 PM	#5
llBARlllCODEll PRODIGAL SUN Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 1,426 Rep Power: 0	yeah i'd have to hear it on the beat to give further feed but keep writin and maybe evn try recording. u might be onto somethin. u had me with the first line i read it again and OH yeah not to mention I'M in my own class, way above the opposition its just one of those words capitilized is where i think u could change it but like i said i dont know what u wrote it to so my feed could even change if i heard it recorded as far as just the lyricism __________________

07-11-2011, 11:40 AM	#7
J.T.S. God Of WAr Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 4,044 Rep Power: 25	this shit was pretty good . __________________ My evidence, my own testament, written on wood Twelve tribes layin at the head of corners in hoods Hell razah

07-02-2011, 08:41 PM	#4
Mai Wang Tu Phat Keep firing, assholes! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Boston Posts: 573 Rep Power: 0	Thanks guys, the reason I had those extra words in there so it would fit the bit I was writing to.

07-03-2011, 09:18 AM	#6
Mai Wang Tu Phat Keep firing, assholes! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Boston Posts: 573 Rep Power: 0	It was to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYb2nkwmI0c

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode