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Old 09-11-2011, 09:25 AM   #1
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Default Jokes from the Charlie Sheen Roast...

1. “You’re just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” — Amy Schumer


2. “If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns — don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?” — Jeff Ross


3. “Brooke Mueller is not very bright unless Charlie throws a lamp at her. … Mike Tyson, your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex wives.” — Jeff Ross


4. “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox”– Anthony Jeselnik


5. “Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom, he’s is looking forward to it though because he thinks there’s a rock there.” — Steve-O


6. “You dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony’s kid.” — Anthony Jeselnik


7. “It’s amazing, after abusing your lungs, liver and kidneys, the only thing you’ve had removed is your kids.” — Kate Walsh


8. “Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve banged, it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.” — Seth MacFarlane
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:26 AM   #2
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Roast is next Monday the 19th on Comedy Central
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:27 AM   #3
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VIDEO Or GTFO
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:29 AM   #4
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I really hate this show, but in text format it's not that bad. Clever lines. Especially the first.
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:34 AM   #5
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VIDEO Or GTFO
Were you this dumb before you started taking Cholo cock up the ass?
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Old 09-11-2011, 10:11 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulrock View Post
1. “You’re just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” — Amy Schumer


2. “If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns — don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?” — Jeff Ross


3. “Brooke Mueller is not very bright unless Charlie throws a lamp at her. … Mike Tyson, your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex wives.” — Jeff Ross


4. “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox”– Anthony Jeselnik


5. “Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom, he’s is looking forward to it though because he thinks there’s a rock there.” — Steve-O


6. “You dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony’s kid.” — Anthony Jeselnik


7. “It’s amazing, after abusing your lungs, liver and kidneys, the only thing you’ve had removed is your kids.” — Kate Walsh


8. “Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve banged, it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.” — Seth MacFarlane
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Old 09-11-2011, 03:06 PM   #7
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Steve-O of "Jackass" fame was also among the roasters. His big trick was running repeatedly into Tyson's fist, which he did until he reportedly broke his nose.
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Old 09-11-2011, 04:58 PM   #8
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Old 09-11-2011, 05:25 PM   #9
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brock wears glasses now?
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Old 09-11-2011, 06:06 PM   #10
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You know me, always changing my look.
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