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Old 07-15-2016, 04:28 AM   #1
noel411
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Default Planets Collide

In the depths of the mind is that old burning flame
spurning change as acceptance adjourns, turns to blame
there's forces at work causing evil to lurk
in the course of their work causing people to skirt
around major issues and we now guage the misuse
by control of temperament and what you'll do when rages hit you
rising from the shadows is a wise advising spirit
in your eyes it is disguised by the lies with which you steer it
planets collide as your fallacies die
evil emerges as your callous greed slides
favour goes to those from the dark side
they savour a dose of what mostly dark hides
spirits rise and return to their home
return to the throne while you burn all alone
your thin disguise is no firmer than foam
it burns with your bones while the rest turns to stone

The wailing cry of a life on the line
could change it all like a knife on the spine
your fateful fall was the height of your crimes
in a hateful scrawl you write the design
arteries and veins to the heart, a ceaseless chain
darting through the draft but it's so hard to ease the pain
congestion too much, it must be rush hour
testing your luck, a brush with such power
the ultimate test for your stressed mortality
a soul in distress and the rest formality
angels descend as you enter a place
where the change will depend on who's been renting your space
clouds of white try to re-direct your life
but it's out of sight as they weave dissecting knives
your soul looks on and awaits the next stage
this old book's long, now create the next page
angels reveal their benevolent presence
arranging the deal, you ascend to the heavens.
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Old 07-17-2016, 01:07 AM   #2
Father N Dangerous
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This whole piece was dope. Not going to lie. It was hot, great vocab, flow was definetly there. Structure wasnt perfect but it wasnt far off either. Really enjoyed this piece. Great multi usage through out the whole thing as well.

planets collide as your fallacies die
evil emerges as your callous greed slides
favour goes to those from the dark side
they savour a dose of what mostly dark hides

Favorite line^^^

Another good one

In the depths of the mind is that old burning flame
spurning change as acceptance adjourns, turns to blame
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Tables Turn..Which Made it Worse, Engaged N' Searched..
for a Way ta' Learn, how ta Take tha' Curse of the Weight of Earth
Incase it Curved, and Strained my Nervous System..
Rage it Burst, n' Explained in Words how ta Further Wisdom

Last edited by Father N Dangerous; 07-17-2016 at 01:19 AM.
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Old 07-17-2016, 01:18 AM   #3
noel411
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Thanks dude. I appreciate it. I actually wrote this one a little while ago and just thought I'd post it up.
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