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Old 01-10-2009, 11:16 PM   #1
Art Vandelay
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Default Share your pants-shitting story.

come on, everyone has done it atleast once. here's mine.

(back story first)
our bathroom at work smelled really bad. my boss was mopping the floor and bleaching everything for 2 days straight and couldn't get rid of the smell. well the next day he opens the cabinet under the sink and somebody's shitty underwear were in there. somebody in the office, or a visitor, shit themselves and threw their shitty underguccies under the sink. so it was a running joke for the next couple days. everybody was trying to figure out who it was. who wears boxers and who wears briefs trying to narrow it down. we never figured it out who it was.

so a few days later i leave the office. i was in sales so i was on the road most of the time. as i'm traveling to meet a customer, i let out a fart and i shit myself. you know, a little hershey squirt, not a big steamer in my pants. so i found the first place i could find. it was a mcdonalds in a shitty neighberhood (no pun intended.) so i went into the bathroom took off my boxers, through them away and wiped my ass. i was free-balling when i met the customer, but luckily i passed somewhat near my house on the way back to the office, so i was able to get a fresh pair of boxers.

all i could think of is thank god that happened when i was on the road and not at the office. because if someone would have known i did that, they would have blamed me for the ones that were left under the sink.
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Old 01-10-2009, 11:29 PM   #2
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hahaha..its a good thing you advertised this thread


i hershey squirted while playing Mario for N64 back in '95....luckily i was home. Alone too. I'm such a nice guy i even wet up my boxers and did a pre cleaning before i thru it down the shute for my mom to deal with.
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Old 01-10-2009, 11:45 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Art Vandelay View Post
come on, everyone has done it atleast once. here's mine.

(back story first)
our bathroom at work smelled really bad. my boss was mopping the floor and bleaching everything for 2 days straight and couldn't get rid of the smell. well the next day he opens the cabinet under the sink and somebody's shitty underwear were in there. somebody in the office, or a visitor, shit themselves and threw their shitty underguccies under the sink. so it was a running joke for the next couple days. everybody was trying to figure out who it was. who wears boxers and who wears briefs trying to narrow it down. we never figured it out who it was.

so a few days later i leave the office. i was in sales so i was on the road most of the time. as i'm traveling to meet a customer, i let out a fart and i shit myself. you know, a little hershey squirt, not a big steamer in my pants. so i found the first place i could find. it was a mcdonalds in a shitty neighberhood (no pun intended.) so i went into the bathroom took off my boxers, through them away and wiped my ass. i was free-balling when i met the customer, but luckily i passed somewhat near my house on the way back to the office, so i was able to get a fresh pair of boxers.

all i could think of is thank god that happened when i was on the road and not at the office. because if someone would have known i did that, they would have blamed me for the ones that were left under the sink.
Classic!
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Old 01-11-2009, 12:32 AM   #4
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aint much 2 share from my side.............only time i shat myself was in second grade when a nigga forgot 2 pull his undies down on tha toilet....rookie mistake i kno.............niggaz was comin in tha bathroom talkin bout "ms martin says come back to class NOW".....that shit was stankin so i just packed my pants wit toilet tissue and waltzed back to class...... i was a g about it tho cuz when tha teacher asked why i was out so long i straight up told tha bitch "nigga i poo'd on myself" and that was that
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Old 01-11-2009, 12:35 AM   #5
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you mean you just pulled your shitty underwear up and went back to class?
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Old 01-11-2009, 12:40 AM   #6
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tha fuck was i supposed to do, freeballin wasnt an option in tha 2nd grade.....u held on to ur undies regardless of tha situation
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Old 01-11-2009, 12:41 AM   #7
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now that's gangsta
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Old 01-11-2009, 03:36 AM   #8
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LMAO! i seriously don't have one, i know you can assume whatever but i don't and dont care if im believed.

tho i need one.
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Old 01-11-2009, 04:26 AM   #9
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I was at school in the 5th grade, about 11 years old

I never shat in the school's bathroom because it was usually really disgusting, so one day I just HAD to poop ... WHAT TO DO? I definitely wasn't going to shit there

My home was at a 20 min walk from school, so I told my teacher that I was feeling really ill and had to go home ... so I packed my stuff and headed home but duh shit was struggling to crack out my hole so while walking, though I was rushing I just had to fart and instantly pooped my pants

This was at about 5 mins after leaving school and 10-15 more till getting home, so basically what I did was that I walked all the way home fully dressed, with my school bag on my back and with my underwear shitted on

Luckily when I got home there was nobody there so I could save the embarrassment of telling my parents I had to come home early today cuz I shat my pants lol
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Old 01-11-2009, 05:19 AM   #10
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I've shat my pants while playing table tennis once... a simple fart and poo followed through.
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Old 01-11-2009, 06:08 AM   #11
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Closest I got to shitting myself was when I pushed a fart and realized it's a shit and suck it in.
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Old 01-11-2009, 06:14 AM   #12
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the only pants-shitting story I can remember post-kindergarten age at all was in like 4th grade after school I ran into a friend who was coming out of the drug store, he said he farted out one of those round marble turds and it rolled out of his pants inside.
all I could imagine was what the look on one of the employees could have been, finding a turd in the middle of a drug store floor
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Old 01-11-2009, 07:50 AM   #13
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never shat my pants since i wore diapers luckily..

my only self soiling incidend was when i was drinking with a few friends a couple of years back. I had put away about 2 litres of strong cider and had went to sleep. i woke up the next morning and got told i woke up in the middle of the night, sat on the end of the bed and took a piss over my mate who was lying on a mattress on the floor. i had some flashbacks so i had to accept the blame but thats the only time thank god.
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Old 01-11-2009, 11:47 PM   #14
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holy shit, i can't believe i forgot this story. i thought i only shit my pants once...make it twice.


so i'm at a party at a chick's house that i've known all my life. she lived a few streets away from me. well i end up passing out on her couch. about 7 am, i wake up and half to throw up. i go running out the door to her backyard. it was closer than the bathroom. so the sun is just starting to come up and i am throwing up out in her yard. well just as i finish, i realize i am about to shit myself. there was no time to get back into the house and upstairs to the bathroom. i pulled my pants down and shit in her yard luckily for me, she has a privacy fence, because she lives near a somewhat busy intersection. if any of you have ever heard the comedian artie lange's stand up, he tells a similar story. well when i pulled my pants down and i am squatting in her yard, my pants formed that bridge between my legs and i shit right into my own pants. to this day i still can't figure out how this happened, but it landed in my pants, not in my underwear. so i took the pants off. luckily everyone was still sleeping. i walked out of her yard and threw the pants down the sewer and walked home in my boxers. i passed 1 person on the way home. i was so embarrassed. i didn't make eye contact. that happened probably almost 10 years ago, and last year i finally built up the courage to tell everyone what happened that night.
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Old 01-12-2009, 07:45 AM   #15
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LMAO @ this thread!! classic shit LOL
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