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Old 07-03-2005, 08:43 AM   #1
GuardianOne
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Default They Came As If Innocent

" First appeared in mind, when it was discovered that they could be of help, we must help those that can at any time, for all of us to survive, having a decent harvest, yes pleased when the results are good, and must continue to strive, there are many tests, those who can assist themselves, so all can recover, then must accept the job given at hand, but cannot be accepted to always remain, at the same position, for all must work hard to bring respectable outcomes, although many have hardly worked and attain excellent rewards, then ones shall always reach upward and not envy others, for soon shall be towards that".
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Old 07-03-2005, 09:13 AM   #2
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

I very much like your thesis in all of your posts, your style reminds me of a journalist who is at the same time a poet. Decent!
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Old 07-03-2005, 09:46 AM   #3
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

you might get more feedback if you made your written format easier to read, like in verse form, other than paragraph form... you have no flow, and don't rhyme in paragraph form... you also drop too often, so no one is gonna read 'em all...

PEACE

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Old 07-04-2005, 01:05 AM   #4
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

Quote:
Originally Posted by PsYkOsUs
you might get more feedback if you made your written format easier to read, like in verse form, other than paragraph form... you have no flow, and don't rhyme in paragraph form... you also drop too often, so no one is gonna read 'em all...

PEACE

PSY
Yah i understand you. Maybe my style is difficult. I thought i posted too little (iam not getting paid for it) but its the least i can do (you know for wu-tang and those influenced by the styles) people coming to the temple should not only be for the content- also its an extension of the culture that we respect. Lyrical content.
Tell me after 20 years from now will you still posses your lyrical style, and will you be able to think back and check your verses that you wrote 20 years before and still notice that they have skill within (or maybe you're just going through a phase)?

Peace
PS: Thanks PSY, Racailla
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Old 07-04-2005, 01:20 AM   #5
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

I couldn't really pick up much of a rhythm while reading this, but i think what your trying to get across could be sick if you developed it a bit more.. I like some of the shit you were sayin ... peace homie
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Old 07-04-2005, 02:07 AM   #6
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

gardian s coo
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:56 AM   #7
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

Quote:
Originally Posted by PsYkOsUs
you might get more feedback if you made your written format easier to read, like in verse form, other than paragraph form... you have no flow, and don't rhyme in paragraph form... you also drop too often, so no one is gonna read 'em all...

PEACE

PSY
I think people can come into the temple, show their skills, build their skills. See other peoples styles, have thoughts on other peoples styles. Some can even get assistance, others can change,many can remain the same. Cause we are all learning, gaining experience. Improving their own skills. Anyway its just my thoughts.

Though there are many schools of thought!!!

Peace PSY,444Trumpets,KingShyt
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:59 AM   #8
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Default Re: They Came As If Innocent

Good man
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