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Old 07-05-2005, 05:05 AM   #1
Livin Blade
Disciple of Shadow
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Temple of Darts
Age: 29
Posts: 38
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Default Enter the Shogun

Ma rhymes,ma technik,makes ya feel agony.
Cause ya now a victim of ma tyranny.
Make ya feel pain for all eternity.
Cause Im an ancient evil divinity.

Ma order,the Black Shadow Disciples.
Rip thru ya rhymes jus like ur principles.
cause they weak like beyond compare.
And that weakness make ya feel despair.

We use shurikens and ninja swords,
as if we were Deadly Ninja Lords.
Pray to ya god for protection,
Bitch,now u in need of Divine intervention
Cause ya aint gonna survive the infection,
caused by our venom sword intersection,

Here come the Shadow Shogun,flyin silently
The weapon of choice,the Livin Blade,cuts efficiently
Leavin ya in the dust,a dim worthless memory
Victim to deadly Ninjutsu weaponry.



Pls comment on this cuz i need help!
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Old 07-05-2005, 07:24 AM   #2
crastuf
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Default Re: Enter the Shogun

it's straight, I felt it could have grabbed more attention though
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:42 AM   #3
GuardianOne
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Location: Zambia
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Default Re: Enter the Shogun

You have a wild imagination!!!!!!!!!!!
But it was cool,simple. Keep posting.

Peace
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:43 AM   #4
Racailla
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Default Re: Enter the Shogun

To be honest, I'm feeling at best the last 4 lines

You need to check if words really rhyme, you know what I mean?
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:45 AM   #5
Livin Blade
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Location: Temple of Darts
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Default Re: Enter the Shogun

yea, i dig ya dawg
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