Bigot Hitman's Book

[Bigot Hitman]

How do people like someone
Who can't live with himself
Sometimes I hate to breathe
Just paint the mirrors please
As the more I see
It seems the more I wish to leave

Campfire in the rain
Just a matter of when
I decide my time
Is not worth to spend
As the more I buy
It seems the more I cease to try

A self sacrifice
Will be called a selfish move
When I rid my world
Of all the flames I spew
As the more I learn
It seems the more I heat the burn

Just abandon me
But right before you leave
Would you light the match
That'll maybe set me free
As the bridges hold
Where I need to go can't be reached

Eternal sleep

[Bigot Hitman]

The flower stems were razor blades
The sunset was a rainbow flame
I wondered what was here...to gain?

Grounds opened beneath my feet
Falling into lifeless sleep
I must be strong where light is weak

Paddle around the river bend
The swirls will hint where is her end
Reasons to die and live were friends

THat shore holds a honest hand
If I stomp upon this land
I wonder will it promise sand.....

No legs, I"ll hop the fences
THis head, can stop the physics
I"m feeling a little optimistic

Green fog hugged me everywhere
Off my boat I walked on air
A feeling I cannot compare

After A couple miles I saw
The site I wish to not recall
A truth that claimed I had to fall

WHite words formed as did my fear
They said that I'm forever here
WHere loneliness will rule my tears

I need someone to wake me up
Just someone to guide me out
Back home onto solid ground

[Bigot Hitman]

When you walk away
The sun just doesn't matter
My leafs begin to wilt
And bark starts to shatter

I fall to you
In hope to slow your pace
I call for you
In hope to turn your face
..........

When you swim away
The water begins to freeze
My fins just force a flail
As I must chase your trail

I dive for you
In desire of your balance
I try for you
In the fire of your challenge
..........

But if you stay away
The rainbows form a smile
Then they fade to gray
And rain on me...denial

I'd wait for you
In the coldness that you'd leave
In pain for you
Untill you dry my cheeks
.......

[Bigot Hitman]

Waxy hours
I feel I can tell that its the time
Yet something shows that here...I'm blind
To a truth thats everywhere
In the eyes and in the air
That is freed from my love's face
Its a belief that I can't trace

Down again
The waves I ride seem to pull me in
To a depth where the light pretends
To be true and one with my friends
And here the water turns
The purest black like carbon burns
A darkness no one could earn

Float away
I'm not a cloud, but bound to change
Yet forever remain in ways the same
As inside I pace around my cage
Granted wishes of endless pain
From my own actions I can't explain
I think i'm holding on in vein

Make me smile
Only to drag me through another night
In which when you would hand me the knife
Within a moment you couldn't feel
That your the rim inside the wheel
And that without, I'd be past dead
Face down in my own bloody mess

[Bigot Hitman]

This is my last post on this site/in this thread


Walking through the most vast green field
Everything felt just as it should...feel
And when I was willing
To stay there forever
The breeze died, and grass held still

Truth brought its thieves to steal
This land like a beach from seals
Dying without this
Piece of what's needed
I had thought this couldn't be real

This was where my heart would heal
Stronger than any known pill
Torn away its like
A sunless day and
It left a feeling that could kill

In the most tears I've ever shed
I watched it burn black and dead
As the truth revealed
Words behind a shield
I wish had never been said

I planted the seeds of this love
Grown from below then above
Now I must see it burn
A page I just can't turn
In a book impossible to touch

My heaven turned hell in that
Shooting star moment passed
I wish I was without a
Care to make it now but
My will is not so kin to glass

[Bigot Hitman]

I found a stream of heaven in a land of hell
Like a parched man in a desert....
That came across a well
I lived in its comfort, died in its shortcomings
Resurrected each morning, before my soaring
On levels rarely seen
Like through the eye of an eagle
Dressed in freedom, socially illegal
As the day of hope rises
The nights of pain follows
This is a cycle as sure as
An inflated object will feel hollow
I crawl in sorrow, run through mazes of joy
Jog in balance of normality
As common as a funeral for a toy
My will seems to be breaking at the base
Seeing reflections I can't face
Moving in shoes I don't know how to lace
Disappearing and emerging is killing me
Emptying my souls' and hearts'...artillery
One shot, then thirty, after a day of peace
A pills much too simple to slay the beast
Within me, that makes me envy damn near any
Who hold a stable mind, pretending
That the their truth is, and my life's not real
Or realistically livable,
I just wait for death or change and hold still

[Bigot Hitman]

The resurrection

[Bigot Hitman]

From the tear drowned pores that's never seen wet
To the friends, a kin to stone towers that never lean left
In a land of ruins,
I remain somewhat constructive in my self destruction
Stripping my bolts and ripping wires just to function
Yeah, I can't tell really what a mirror suggests
But the water's reflection leaves room for suspect
As skewed vision is more representative of reality
Feeling like I am the holes bleeding after the talons leave
To most I'm just a little off centered as liquid bends light
But they don't know the struggles between midnights
If if they did, I'd never expect them to understand
As worms thrive in dirt but can't survive on land
So I, isolate to create and destroy the confusion
My treasured chest is the same one I keep my noose in
Have you ever looked into the eyes of the lost
See I doubt it,
Cause to see eye to eye It'd be at sanity's cost
So as, light is to dark, and sky is to ocean
I am to you with unstable emotion
Nothing to be boastin' bout, I'd just wish you'd close your mouth
Save me your "it could be worse" cliches and bounce